Explain Open Relationships To Me Please

[SammieG16]

I understand there are people on EC that are in open relationships, but i just dont understand it. why not just be single and sleep together anyways? how can you call it a relationship if your with other people to anyways? im not trying to offend, i'm just very very confused.

[Rinamir Mortem]

Because I think if you are single and sleeping together you are no longer single and because you are seeing other people it is not a committed relationship therefore it is an open relationship.

[SammieG16]

thats what friends with benifits are, i dont understand, sex is supposed to be an expression of love, open relationship ruin that conceptcompletely. a relationship is about love, you can be in a relationship without having sex. i just dont understand why anyone would choose to be in an open relationship.

[Ben]

I know a girl who was in an open relationship. For her, it was a long term commitment to the other person with the potential of going somewhere further in the future. They both just had sex with other people when they weren't around each other. In the end it didn't work out, though.

Sometimes, couples are just a bit more relaxed when it comes to the sex part of things, and it's just not necessarily a defining part of their relationship. Sex with other people is just some fun on the side.

[SammieG16]

i just really dont understand it. sex shouldnt just be something you do with anyone, it should be special.

[Eric]

Some couples just feel they need more to satisfy themselves sexually, so they mutually agree to have an open relationship. The emotional commitment is still there though.

That being said, I wouldn't want to be in an open relationship. xD

[Lexington]

I know several people who are in very stable, very loving, and very open relationships.

It does take a certain type of person to be in an open relationship. You need to be able to separate "sex" from "love" fairly completely. You have to be able to avoid developing deep feelings with people you have sex with - it can be very passionate and very enjoyable, but it needs to remain "just sex". You have to be very free of jealousy. you have to be able to view your partner going off to have sex with somebody else as a neutral or even positive thing. One of my friends says "He likes a certain type of guy that I'm not like, who likes a certain type of activity that I'm not at all interested in. So I'm pleased when he can go off and do that with them. It's like him going off to play on his soccer team - I don't play soccer, and I don't feel he needs to not play soccer just because I don't. I'm happy he has his soccer team to play soccer with, and I'm happy he has these guys to do this sexual thing with. Then he comes home and enjoys my company."

Most important, both parties need to be on board with it. It MAY be that one of the couple is OK with an open relationship even though s/he never bothers to sleep with somebody else, and that's fine so long as they're aware the option is open to them. But if one of them doesn't want an open relationship, the relationship stays closed, or it ends.

>>>it should be special.

Why?

To me, sex with somebody you love is like a really good steak. And "just sex" is more like a burger. Yeah, the steak is usually much better than the burger. But there's nothing wrong with a burger. And I've had some REALLY good burgers in my time.

Lex

[Rooni321]

Honestly, I'd love to find someone who wants to be in an open relationship because I am the type of person who needs that but I'd get really jealous if/when I found out about them having relations with someone else.
But once I learn to live with that, I'll be set

[Harve]

Some say "you can go off and have sex with people, just don't tell me about it afterwards."

[Lexington]

^ It depends on the relationship. Some people demand full disclosure about all "extra-curriculars", some demand that they NOT know anything about them. Some demand that all other sex partners be people known to them, some demand that the sex partners NOT be people known to them. And some don't care one way or the other.

Lex

[malachite]

meaning you happy with that person, but your are allowed to sleep with other people. Sometimes people understand that you'll have the urge when you meet someone really attractive and instead of making a big to-do about it, just give it the ok.

[Zontar]

I would do an open relationship.

The only terms would be that we always share!

[silverhalo]

I think its something you can either do or you cant do, and if you cant it is sometimes epecially to begin with difficult to understand why people would want to be in a relationship like that but as long as both parties are in full agreement and know what is happening then its no different to couples that are swingers or something like that.

I wouldnt want to but if others do thats up to them.

[Rinto]

In general, I think being in an "open relationship" means you and another person are together. You regard yourselves as people who are in a partial commitment and relationship where the both of you can still get to move and advance with other people. Being in this kind of relationship means the person you are with in this connection has no means of objecting your decisions to go with another person, since you were in a partial relationship; it was open the entire time.

That's how I understood it. It's a sad kind of fate, if you're going to ask me. But it would be better to be in this state if you are unsure of your feelings toward a person.