to anyone that has been/was in a relationship - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Rooni321 · 22nd Nov 2011, 06:43 PM

How long was it before you got affectionate?
(Holding hands, kissing)

I won't go into detail but I'm freaking out.

Anyone, anyone?

---------- Post added 22nd Nov 2011 at 06:46 PM ----------

**EDIT**

To anyone that is/was in a relationship

Tiny Catastrophe · 22nd Nov 2011, 06:50 PM

Well my girlfriend and I held hands and like cuddled when we were still just best friends and she waited like a week to kiss me lol

Daisy1 · 22nd Nov 2011, 08:03 PM

I think it's really dependent on your age and what's customary in your area and/or at your school. At 17, I would have been kissing my boyfriends almost immediately. Waiting a few weeks or months to kiss wouldn't be weird, though, in most places. Hope that helps.

Don't freak out, and feel free to ask more questions.

**Owen** · 22nd Nov 2011, 08:38 PM

He and I were dating for about a month and a half before we got affectionate. It was a longish-distance relationship, though, so it might have happened sooner if that weren't the case. We talked on the phone a lot in the intermittent time, which brought us closer together, but because of the distance, we didn't get to date often, so we didn't go on a whole lot of dates before we got intimate.

crazyhead · 23rd Nov 2011, 12:13 AM

It's different from relationship to relationship. With my first boyfriend, we held hands before we actually were a couple. Then kissed a week after we started dating. My second boyfriend, we first kissed the day we met (mistake I learned from). For my third boyfriend, we held hands after a week and kissed after two.

DJNay · 23rd Nov 2011, 12:30 AM

my gf (well ex now) waited 9.5 months for me to kiss her ( i had intimacy issues and she understood them)

geordie94 · 23rd Nov 2011, 08:13 AM

is it weird that I usually kiss first n then wonder if that means we're boyfriends now?

malachite · 23rd Nov 2011, 08:41 AM

It varied sometimes I'd know the guy for a little bit THEN we became an item.

If we just met maybe a week or 2 for the holding hands and stuff.

Rooni321 · 23rd Nov 2011, 07:33 PM

Well that's reasurring!
Thank you all! My nerves are calmed (:

jargon · 23rd Nov 2011, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geordie94

is it weird that I usually kiss first n then wonder if that means we're boyfriends now?

Nope. Or at least, I hope not, as I've been guilty of that several times now myself. Though not being weird doesnt mean it always works. Ive had probly 4 or 5 distasterous outcomes from doing that, and one good one (which admittedly, makes that justifies that strategy for me as far as I'm concerned, but I got lucky).

Hana Solo · 24th Nov 2011, 03:39 PM

For me and my bf, we waited a while. Wait for the mood to be right

and take it slow. After all, you need somewhere to go

Mister E · 24th Nov 2011, 11:32 PM

An ex girlfriend of mine never kissed or held hands or barely hugged me. The relationship lasted several months too.

Rooni321 · 25th Nov 2011, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hana Solo

take it slow. After all, you need somewhere to go

Well when you think about it,
That was actually worded quite perfectly!
You're totally right!
(:

Hana Solo · 26th Nov 2011, 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rooni321

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hana Solo

take it slow. After all, you need somewhere to go

Well when you think about it,
That was actually worded quite perfectly!
You're totally right!
(:

Aww thanks Rooni

Charni · 26th Nov 2011, 05:01 AM

Mine was the same as Hanas. I was so scared I almost missed lol

Hazel · 26th Nov 2011, 07:21 PM

If the first couple of dates go well, I'm very happy to get affectionate if my date's comfortable with it, though I do like to spread out the "first this" and "first that" occasions so that there's something to savor. There's not really a marker for when you should and shouldn't, though. It's a personal thing.

Lotty · 7th Dec 2011, 07:08 AM

My ex gf and I cuddled and flirted alot before I kissed her, but after that we cuddled even more and held hands and things like that.

**Lexington** · 7th Dec 2011, 08:50 AM

Tough to say, since we met online. We started with the phone sex about two months later.

Lex

tdg2728 · 8th Jan 2012, 01:18 AM

For me, like when I first got with my fiance.....before we got together we would flirt and she would hold me...(due to she is almost a foot taller than me) but after we got together...her friends knew she was into girls but mine didn't and i was scared...so i kinda tried to keep it like from telling them so it took sometime....but i'm so glad we r affectionate

Raug · 8th Jan 2012, 08:30 AM

Depends on who you're with. I've been in some relationships where we made out within a hour. Some others it took two months for him to kiss me.

22nd Nov 2011, 06:43 PM	#1
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	to anyone that has been/was in a relationship How long was it before you got affectionate? (Holding hands, kissing) I won't go into detail but I'm freaking out. Anyone, anyone? ---------- Post added 22nd Nov 2011 at 06:46 PM ---------- EDIT To anyone that is/was in a relationship __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway

22nd Nov 2011, 06:50 PM	#2
Tiny Catastrophe Love is genderless <3 Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: 2 sisters, mom, friends, school Location: New Yorkish Age: 19 Posts: 863 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship Well my girlfriend and I held hands and like cuddled when we were still just best friends and she waited like a week to kiss me lol __________________ Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you cant remember a time in your life when it wasnt but then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because its so unfamiliar. Then in that moment you realize you're happy.

22nd Nov 2011, 08:03 PM	#3
Daisy1 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Girls Out Status: Pretty much out! Location: East Coast Age: 26 Posts: 307 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship I think it's really dependent on your age and what's customary in your area and/or at your school. At 17, I would have been kissing my boyfriends almost immediately. Waiting a few weeks or months to kiss wouldn't be weird, though, in most places. Hope that helps. Don't freak out, and feel free to ask more questions.

22nd Nov 2011, 08:38 PM	#4
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,873 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship He and I were dating for about a month and a half before we got affectionate. It was a longish-distance relationship, though, so it might have happened sooner if that weren't the case. We talked on the phone a lot in the intermittent time, which brought us closer together, but because of the distance, we didn't get to date often, so we didn't go on a whole lot of dates before we got intimate. __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

23rd Nov 2011, 12:13 AM	#5
crazyhead flying away Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Texas Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship It's different from relationship to relationship. With my first boyfriend, we held hands before we actually were a couple. Then kissed a week after we started dating. My second boyfriend, we first kissed the day we met (mistake I learned from). For my third boyfriend, we held hands after a week and kissed after two. __________________ "Dyin' is the day worth livin' for"

23rd Nov 2011, 12:30 AM	#6
DJNay EC Addict Full Member Gender: Physically female but an inner-caged male Orientation: one thing is for sure- im definely gay Out Status: facebook friends and my dad Location: From Joburg, SA but now live in Brisbane, Aus Age: 20 Posts: 267 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship my gf (well ex now) waited 9.5 months for me to kiss her ( i had intimacy issues and she understood them) __________________ "Love is a human experience, not a political statement" ~ Anne Hathaway

23rd Nov 2011, 08:13 AM	#7
geordie94 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 17 Posts: 101 Join Date: Oct 2010	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship is it weird that I usually kiss first n then wonder if that means we're boyfriends now? __________________ One day I'm going to grow wings A chemical reaction Hysterical and useless

23rd Nov 2011, 08:41 AM	#8
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship It varied sometimes I'd know the guy for a little bit THEN we became an item. If we just met maybe a week or 2 for the holding hands and stuff. __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

23rd Nov 2011, 07:33 PM	#9
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship Well that's reasurring! Thank you all! My nerves are calmed (: __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway

24th Nov 2011, 03:39 PM	#11
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship For me and my bf, we waited a while. Wait for the mood to be right and take it slow. After all, you need somewhere to go __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

24th Nov 2011, 11:32 PM	#12
Mister E Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Some kinda bi Location: Arizona Age: 15 Posts: 131 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship An ex girlfriend of mine never kissed or held hands or barely hugged me. The relationship lasted several months too.

26th Nov 2011, 05:01 AM	#15
Charni Banned Full Member Gender: Physically male, mentally everything but male. Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: My girlfriend and 8 others Location: Australia! Age: 16 Posts: 775 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship Mine was the same as Hanas. I was so scared I almost missed lol

26th Nov 2011, 07:21 PM	#16
Hazel Switch to decaf? Never! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey 5 Out Status: A few people Location: Minnesota Age: 23 Posts: 129 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship If the first couple of dates go well, I'm very happy to get affectionate if my date's comfortable with it, though I do like to spread out the "first this" and "first that" occasions so that there's something to savor. There's not really a marker for when you should and shouldn't, though. It's a personal thing.

7th Dec 2011, 07:08 AM	#17
Lotty Everybody's fool Regular Member Gender: Mostly female Orientation: I've given up on that one. Out Status: I don't hide it. Location: Holland!!!<3 Age: 17 Posts: 460 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship My ex gf and I cuddled and flirted alot before I kissed her, but after that we cuddled even more and held hands and things like that. __________________ .That's myself in the mirror.

7th Dec 2011, 08:50 AM	#18
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,372 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship Tough to say, since we met online. We started with the phone sex about two months later. Lex

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Too immature for a commited relationship?	DJNay	Support and Advice	9	4th Nov 2011 09:00 PM
I've met this girl, but is it fair to start a relationship with her?	kiersten	Support and Advice	9	9th Aug 2011 10:32 AM
One failed relationship, and two one night stands with exes and i'm back here....	chrisb	Introductions, Welcomes and Congratulations	17	6th Dec 2009 12:26 AM
Starting a relationship	Tim C	Support and Advice	4	11th Jun 2008 12:33 AM
Making a relationship work	Tim C	Support and Advice	8	31st Oct 2007 12:48 PM

8th Jan 2012, 01:18 AM	#19
tdg2728 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Mostly everyone but not all family knows Location: Westmorland, California Age: 18 Posts: 15 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship For me, like when I first got with my fiance.....before we got together we would flirt and she would hold me...(due to she is almost a foot taller than me) but after we got together...her friends knew she was into girls but mine didn't and i was scared...so i kinda tried to keep it like from telling them so it took sometime....but i'm so glad we r affectionate __________________ T&D 2-27-10

8th Jan 2012, 08:30 AM	#20
Raug Silent in secret Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Retreating to my walk in... Location: Mid-Michigan USA Age: 15 Posts: 225 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: to anyone that has been/was in a relationship Depends on who you're with. I've been in some relationships where we made out within a hour. Some others it took two months for him to kiss me. __________________ I am the patriarch