In gay marriage

[Mimerio]

Usually in heterosexual marriage, the bride would change her name to that of her husband, but what about in gay or lesbian marriage? Who would get who's name, and why?

[Victor]

Not all hetero marriages involve name changing, and it's up to the couple with what they want to do.

[Ridiculous]

Generally there is no name change.

I'm not sure why people still uphold the tradition of the bride taking the surname of the husband in a heterosexual couple anyway. It seems to be getting less common though.

[thedreamwatch]

Personally I'd either just keep my name the same and have her keep hers, or if our names were compatible we could hyphenate them and have both of us have both names, which would make it simpler if we had kids.

[alan t]

I know of some cases where they both take each others names and hyphenate

[crazyhead]

I plan to do a two name hyphenate.

[Rooni321]

It depends on the couple.
Not really that different from hetero couples

[Kidd]

I would definitely want us to take one name and I would prefer to drop mine, honestly, but I'm not opposed to hyphenation.

[Markio]

I've heard of some couples where they hybridize their two names together to create a totally new last name. For example, the last names "Johnson" and "Smith" could become "Smithson." It depends on the last names, I guess.

Random fact: for a woman's last name to legally change through marriage, it is free. It costs money for a man to change his last name legally, even if it's to his partner's last name.

[Rinamir Mortem]

Never really thought about it but a hyphenation sounds like the logical choice.

[Owen]

The thing about the bride changing her last name is that, at this point, it's only still done because of tradition. Tradition is formed over many years, and gay marriage has only been a "thing" for a decade, so a tradition concerning name changes in gay marriage hasn't developed. For that reason, it really depends on the couple. If they're both very traditional and believe not only in a shared last name, but also in traditional gender roles, they might opt to have the person who doesn't wear the pants in the relationship take the other person's last name. In any other case, though, it really is a crapshoot to guess how it will go.

[starfish]

If I get married I figure I will take his name, and he will take mine. It is the fair thing to do.

[Aya McCabre]

There's a study which shows that women who take their partner's name aren't taken as seriously by their employers as those who don't. Fewer promotions, fewer pay rises, less likely to get jobs..... I can't afford that. It's highly unlikely that I would get married to start with, but if I did it would come down to feminism and being unable to afford potential income losses as a result. I'm already working three jobs that don't pay me just so that I can maybe not starve after I graduate.... it's not worth taking the risk for me.

[kiersten]

I have been chatting with someone I met online back in August & we have fallen hard for each other. We even started talking about marriage for the first time a couple of weeks ago & the subject of who would take who's name came up. I want to take her name & she wants to take mine. We both agreed that since we both live so far away from each other, we dont want to get too ahead of ourselves, but she wants to come visit me this summer, so we are both getting super excited!

[Owen]

Originally Posted by Aya McCabre

There's a study which shows that women who take their partner's name aren't taken as seriously by their employers as those who don't. Fewer promotions, fewer pay rises, less likely to get jobs.....

Just remember that correlation doesn't imply causation. It might be the case that women who take their partner's name do so because are more invested in typical gender roles, and it's for that reason that they aren't as likely to seek out promotions, pay raises, or jobs in general, because they think it doesn't suit them.

[Doctor Faustus]

True dat Owen.

I would be quite happy hyphenating or keeping my own surname. Whatever my future husband and I decide: we'd have some kind of consensus. Either way, getting married would be cool ^_^

[Silver Sparrow]

Originally Posted by kiersten

I have been chatting with someone I met online back in August & we have fallen hard for each other. We even started talking about marriage for the first time a couple of weeks ago & the subject of who would take who's name came up. I want to take her name & she wants to take mine. We both agreed that since we both live so far away from each other, we dont want to get too ahead of ourselves, but she wants to come visit me this summer, so we are both getting super excited!

Congratulations to you and I hope all goes well!

[In The Clouds]

I have been chatting with someone I met online back in August & we have fallen hard for each other. We even started talking about marriage for the first time a couple of weeks ago & the subject of who would take who's name came up. I want to take her name & she wants to take mine. We both agreed that since we both live so far away from each other, we dont want to get too ahead of ourselves, but she wants to come visit me this summer, so we are both getting super excited!

Congrats! Keep us posted on how it goes.

[biAnnika]

The custom I'd like to see get started...and it would be awesome if it started in same-sex couples and migrated to the straight world as well...is to agree on a satisfying blend of the two last names.

For instance, if Johnny Depp married Patrick Stewart (*drool*), they could become Johnny and Patrick Dewart, Stepp, Stewp, Depart, or whatever they thought best.

This would provide endless hours...days...of media speculation during any royal or celebrity wedding!

And after all, marriage is to be a blending of individuals, and everything is to be shared, right? So why not names?

[Josh S]

If I ever got married, I wouldn't want either of us to change our names. What to do with any possible children on the other hand, well . . . . . I'll cross that bridge when it comes.