losing my religion

[dreamcatcher]

Nope, this thread isn't about the R.E.M song but about me actually losing my faith. For the past couple of months, I've felt extremely disconnected from my faith (Catholicism). I still believe in God and a part of me wishes I didn't since life would be so much easier that way but I don't think that could ever happen. My faith is also such a huge part of my culture that to discard it would be like to discard another piece of my identity.

So this brings me to my next series of questions. Have you ever felt like you were losing your faith (if you had any to begin with)? What did you do to resolve this issue? Did you say screw that, I'm becoming an athiest? Did you look into a different faith or did you dig deeper into your faith to try to renew it? Do any of you also feel like religion is a big part of your cultural identity? I'm not really looking for any advice as that is something only I can figure out. I'm just curious at hearing out everyone's story and the different paths that people have taken after having a crisis of faith.

[NoName114]

same thing, still belive in god 100% but I hate the church, still live by the 10 commandments

[kellymporta]

I was raised as a catholic, but right now I'm against traditional religions. I also think that right now I'm living with my own personal religion (my own beliefs).

When I observe the complexity of the world it makes me believe that God exists, and that complexity also makes me believe that science is actually the way for us to get closer to God. I also believe that trying to make the world a better place and helping others is the true key for a healthy spirit.

[NoName114]

I was joking with my mother about becoming the next Martin Luther XD

[djt820]

When I questioned my faith, I went with what made sense most and that, for me, was atheism. I personally preach "I don't know!" but religion has not proven anything otherwise either so I'm completely and utterly happy living as an atheist.

The more and more I researched, the more and more I detested religion and wish it didn't exist. The way I saw it breed ignorance and hate was way too overwhelming for me. Nowadays, I believe it's an absolute waste of time to follow religious dogma when I could be living my life the way I want it to be (and I do).

And that's my personal experience of losing my faith.

[thecat06]

I know what you mean, I have felt like this for a while. I have just decided to ride it out and see where I end up when it comes to my faith. I haven't gone to church in a long time, I just cannot bring myself to go to something that I get nothing out of now.

It's weird for me because I used to be really strong in my faith.

[crazyhead]

I just kind of grew out of religion. It just slowly became one of those things that didn't do anything for me. Like the non-DVD part of my tv. The part that plays tv shows. Other people have it. I had it for a while. But it just became pointless because I could find so much more joy and meaning elsewhere. There was no, "Screw this, I'm not gonna be a part of this anymore" moment. I just one day realized that I had been happy for a long time without it.

[Gerry]

Originally Posted by djt820

When I questioned my faith, I went with what made sense most and that, for me, was atheism. I personally preach "I don't know!" but religion has not proven anything otherwise either so I'm completely and utterly happy living as an atheist.

The more and more I researched, the more and more I detested religion and wish it didn't exist. The way I saw it breed ignorance and hate was way too overwhelming for me. Nowadays, I believe it's an absolute waste of time to follow religious dogma when I could be living my life the way I want it to be (and I do).

And that's my personal experience of losing my faith.

You hit it right on the nail. That's pretty much what happened with me too. I was raised in a Catholic home growing up and just began questioning my faith some years back and atheism is what made sense. I'm perfectly content living as an atheist and don't have to live my life following any religion.

[alex2020]

Originally Posted by dreamcatcher

Nope, this thread isn't about the R.E.M song

It may not be about it, but now I've got it stuck in my head!

Anyways...

I used to be Catholic. I drifted away from the church, tried to get involved with it again when I started college, but came to the conclusion that organized religion just isn't for me right now. My biggest problem with it is that I want to live my life the way I see fit, and not by religious rules and such. I don't identify as Catholic anymore. I'm more of an agnostic theist with very strong humanist views.

As far as the cultural identity goes, that's never really come into play for me, even though I'm part Italian and Irish, both of which are traditionally very Catholic. Maybe to some people, it's an important part of their cultural identity, but for me, it's not.

[Hana Solo]

I am a Christian, and a strong one, but I still don't go to church regularly, just my small group. I actually stopped going to church and everything and rebelled against God for about two years, but for me, life resolved itself with God. Who knows, you might come back to it, you might get more enthused about a different demononation (I'm a Pressie, personally) which isn't so strict as the Catholics, or you may not go back to God at all. It's all your choice, and none have the right to tell you off for whatever choice you make.

[Chip]

I read an article a few years back that reported on a survey asking for religious orientation/identification.

The largest single category people selected in this survey was "Spiritual, not religious" at something like 40% of the population. They went on to define that category as people who have some sort of belief system -- not necessarily God as Christian religion defines it, but some sort of spiritual practice/belief.

The article went on to say that many people feel disconnected or alienated by their traditional churches, either because of differing beliefs (acceptance of gays, for example) or because they felt the particular teachings of the church were too dogmatic and not relevant to current life.

And like the number of other posters here, I think that's a good way of looking at it for many people because it still conveys a strong belief but isn't tied to one particular book or dogma or doctrine.

Of course, people like Dylan and Gerry are, in their own way, applying the same principles: taking responsibility for their own decisions, questioning the value of "faith" as taught by traditional religions, and coming to a conclusion that works for them. And that's a perfectly reasonable choice as well.

So from my perspective, I think the OP can draw on her own core beliefs, discard the doctrine that doesn't fit (as long as the underlying values remain) and perhaps find a new connection to spirituality through that lens of self-examination and self-evaluation. Any worthwhile religious belief should be able to withstand some self-scrutiny and self-examination and even periods of self-doubt. If it doesn't, then perhaps the beliefs themselves need additional examination/testing.

[Messed Up]

Hi there,

From November of last year things got hard for me. Impossibly hard for me. Let’s leave it at that. I prayed harder than I ever did before. Endlessly, I prayed to the Lord. I begged Him to help me, to save me from drowning on the inside. I was afraid that He wouldn’t answer me. As if He had forgotten me. Well, in short, things came around. But, to be honest I felt that I hurt God and I wanted to run away from Him just so that I would never break His heart again. I ran away from Him and hid from Him trying to avoid Him at all costs...but no matter how hard I try you know what?

He finds me. He catches me. He beats me to the punch and is always waiting there for me because He never left. He’s everywhere that no matter where I run to or hide to He’s already there. Great, now I’m starting to cry. Thanks a lot. LOL...

My point is, I’m LGBTQ-Identified and I know, no matter what, the Lord my God Loves me to NO END. I am Christian and PROUD.

I encourage you to find your own place with God. A place that is unique to you and God and only You Two. I found mine starting in Grade 8 wayyyyyy before I realized I was LGBTQ-identified. So, I found my place with God regardless of my issues strugling with my sexuality. I always encourage others to find faith and spirituality. I LOVE studying (yea, I’m nerdy) religions. There are so many beautiful faith systems out there- Hinduism, Sikhism, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Jainism, and I could go on forever...But don’t loose your faith. Find God, whatever that means to you, and nurture your place with Him/Her/It. Explore religions (plural). Tend to your spirituality. Read. Pray. Meditate.

As for faith being part of my cultural identity? FUCK THAT! LOL! I’m not Christian because it’s part of my culture. I’m Christian because it’s who I am. It’s not a part of my culture, it’s a part of me. And I am passionately proud.

If you wanna talk Leviticus let’s talk Leviticus. According to Leviticus if your daughter disobeys you in the slightest you have every right to kill her. So...if Janey’s curfew is 11:00pm and she arrives home at 11:03pm Janey’s daddy has every right to see a lot less of Janey. But, other than the “Man shall not lay with man as he does woman” law in Leviticus, we don’t much follow the other rules, now do we? Why follow one rule passionately and not all the others?

Find your place with God, not with man’s narrow view of God.

“Our vision to understand God is limited. But His Love for us is limitless” -Nightcrawler from “X-Men:The Animated Series”

[J Snow]

Well, I kind of had issues with my Church before I came out.

I grew up strongly Catholic. I went to Catholic school for thirteen years. I was a very good kid, and I never questioned much. The world we lived in kind of didn't make sense to me as a kid. I didn't understand why anyone would ever do anything wrong when our lives here are so short compared to an eternity in heaven.

I guess once I got to high school I started to feel that the Church wasn't perfect. I didn't think their was anything wrong with homosexuality, and even the church said there was nothing wrong with the desire. At the time, deep down I thought I was bi. I just assumed I would do the traditional lifestyle because, well its a lot easier. I couldn't imagine telling anyone I watched gay porn for instance.

I had very strong desires at this time to be female. I prayed to God many many night for long periods of time to let me be a girl. I also prayed to ask if it was wrong to be gay or to want to be the other sex. I was frustrated, because I had such a strong desire to do exactly what was meant for me, if only I could have been told what it was.

So, when I became a senior I took a class on World Religions. I was very interested in it. I realized that all the religions were pretty similar. I got this radical idea that perhaps, all the religions were in fact worshiping the very same God, they just had different names for it. After all, almost no one really chooses to have faith. They are just taught faith in whatever religion they are born into. How could God punish someone for believing what they are told and reward someone else for doing the same. So what I decided was that the details about God don't matter, what matters is being a good person.

This belief has become even stronger since coming out and really seeing the harm religious intolerance can cause. I still believe in God. I still believe in an afterlife. I honestly believe I have had multiple experiences with "spirits" over the course of my life, and even feel I have felt a strong presence of God and of evil.

The fact is, it doesn't really matter to me if Jesus, Moses, Abraham or Muhammad ever existed. It doesn't effect me being a good person in the slightest.

[Mad Man L]

Originally Posted by Gerry

You hit it right on the nail. That's pretty much what happened with me too. I was raised in a Catholic home growing up and just began questioning my faith some years back and atheism is what made sense. I'm perfectly content living as an atheist and don't have to live my life following any religion.

Like me.

I was raised Christian, and like most things in my childhood, blindly followed it. Never questioned (anything, not just religion). When I began to question my faith (around 2 years ago), I just drifted away. Not physically, but as a person. It just dissolved, and being a scientific/overly logic kind of person, I basically became an atheist. I developed my own set of morals, at a similar time to figuring out my sexuality.

Right now I'm openly atheist to my peers and "Christian" (i.e. I act) to my family. I'll often include my religion with my sexuality because the two are the two big things which changed when I began to develop my own understanding of the world.

Despite the fact I'm an atheist, I'm not one of those ones which goes around saying all religion is bad. I just think it's idiots who believe we need to follow books written by ~30 people to a T is downright stupid.

[FoxFire11]

Originally Posted by djt820

When I questioned my faith, I went with what made sense most and that, for me, was atheism. I personally preach "I don't know!" but religion has not proven anything otherwise either so I'm completely and utterly happy living as an atheist.

The more and more I researched, the more and more I detested religion and wish it didn't exist. The way I saw it breed ignorance and hate was way too overwhelming for me. Nowadays, I believe it's an absolute waste of time to follow religious dogma when I could be living my life the way I want it to be (and I do).

And that's my personal experience of losing my faith.

This, granted i never had faith to begin with, but after reading about all the horrible things done in the name of religion as was immediately put off.

I have nothing against people who are religious, its the organizations that represent it that i dislike.

[Owen]

I was a theist on-and-off for a while, because theist was what I was taught, but I eventually ended up as an atheist. I went through some hard times in my life; really hard times. I tried talking to God during those times because that's what I was taught to do, but it never felt like it was doing any good. It felt like I was just throwing words up into the void. It didn't help that I'm logical and objective enough to realize that the fact that I got through those tough times was a product of my own strength and will, not strength and will "given" to me by a deity. I came to the conclusion that if there was a God but he wasn't going to intervene in my life in any meaningful way, why pray to him? Why spend time worshiping him?

I've come to the conclusion now that faith is really just a metaphor for the person's relationship with themselves (which is why praying works so well when a believer asks for strength and willpower, but not so much when they pray to win the lottery). When viewed in this context, a lot of the things people of faith talk about and do make sense to me, but because I see faith that way, I could never call myself a person of faith, because I would never believe in a higher power; I'd recognize I was just calling on myself for strength. And even if I found faith again, I would never consider myself religious because religion is composed of two elements: faith and dogma. Dogma is something I could never allow myself to fall victim to. We have these wonder brains which can use logic and observations to come to majestic conclusions about the world around us; it would be insulting to them to just accept something as true without looking for proof first (which is exactly what dogma is). That's my belief, at least.

It's important to recognize that faith and dogma are two separate parts of religion, and it's possible to have the former without the latter. Faith is an entirely personal thing; dogma, by definition, takes place between people (a dogma that isn't shared is really just faith). Don't let dogma make you think that religion at large is the problem, because then you are crucifying faith, as well, and faith is rarely itself the problem.

Originally Posted by Messed Up

Find your place with God, not with man’s narrow view of God.

You put it better than I could have ever hoped to. Bravo!

[Veronica]

I was raised Lutheran and my family switched to Pentecostal when I was a teenager. I was always given the god-spalantion for everything. Which never made sense to me. Eventually I did get a crisis of faith. To me the problem was trying to hold on to something that made no sense whatsoever in the real world. The whole thing became more and more fairytale-like. Becoming an agnostic-atheist was just inevitable.

It all boils down to reason for me. You can't just provide an explanation or make a grand claim about something with nothing to support it. Even the more colourful ideas in philosophy: Nice idea, have any proof that's how the universe works? The danger with religion is that there is no demand that a given explanation has any basis in reality. That way anyone can fabricate any argument to suit their own needs. It's what they do in religion and numerous other philosophies. It is counterproductive and sometimes dangerous. It also leads to justification of hatred.

Granted, in Christianity most claims have to make some theological sense. But I have studied theology too, it may be internally consistent, but the premise is fundamentally flawed. It mostly boils down to the authority of scripture. In this case a collection of mythological stories (most of the Torah is counter to archaeological evidence) mixed with some historical facts and a bunch of detached correspondence between early Christians.

So yeah, no religion for me. Religion is supposed to be a foundation for morality. It is a very poor foundation at that. Philosophy is the appropriate place to work out these questions. Philosophy is not limited by dogma to the extent religion is.

[Doctor Faustus]

I'm actually an atheist (and have always been), but I know guys who are completely Christian and LGBT: they simply reconcile the two by rejecting the less conservative interpretations of scripture.

I would suggest looking into the activities of the Marin Foundation (The Marin Foundation – Be Bold) which aims to, in their words, "build bridges" between the Christian right and the LGBT community. I tried to get its founder, Andrew Marin, to speak at my university, but it didn't work out.

I'd also recommend reading a play I discovered, "Next Fall" by Geoffrey Nauffts, which is about the relationship between two gay men, one of whom is Christian and the other atheist. It sounds really interesting! (Amazon.com: Next Fall - Acting Edition (9780822224563): Geoffrey Nauffts: Books)

[Zontar]

Religion and theology never made sense after I learned to view the world in terms of science and physics.

The evidence for a God is non-existent so far. So really, I'll believe it when I see it. One thing I know for sure though, is that there isn't an ounce of significance to dogma, scriptures, or myths.

[throw]

I'm in a similar situation, Dreamcatcher. I've been a Christian my whole life and I just can't let go of God. I can let go of the church and organized religion, but I can't pretend that God doesn't exist to me.

But I also can't reconcile my own personal beliefs with my Christian faith anymore. Digging deeper just left me confused. So for now, I view God in the same way I view my earthly father. He loves me and cares for me, we just have different viewpoints on the way things should be. I live a life that I can be proud of and hopefully He can accept that I do my best.