The beginning of this year heralded the start of my long road of accepting myself and my homosexuality. By then, I already came out to both my parents and a friend and so I thought I was invincible and could conquer the world. Yeah. . . a silly little Napoleon if you like. And I so brilliantly decided one night in February that it was official Clean-Out-The-Closet-for-A-Random-Person day and I went right on my IM and told this random guy, Anton(who was more an accidental acquaintance at the time) that I was batting for the other team. Now apparently, this Anton-feller had his knife hidden in his cloak for me ever since Grade 7 due to the fact that I was so obscenely different (didn't play any sport, would rather pursue a path in music) and that was JUST the bit of info he needed to see. So he saved my confessional message and had a field day by showing the bloody thing to my whole grade. Now comes the plot twist. Interesting enough, what he did had hardly inspired any sort of reaction amongst my peers. Nobody started brandishing pitchforks and torches in preparation to run the faggot out of town. Deathly silent on that front. He then realized that he had fallen on his immense nose due to the fact that his attempted exposure had fallen on deaf ears. As an about-face, he now pretends we're the best of buddies and even occasionally pretends to flirt with me, using particularly tasteless references to his dick. In response, I'm being as equally nice and anal-retentive as possible (I don't believe in revenge). However, is this the correct attitude I should have to a teenage douchebag who was hellbent on making my life miserable?
not at all. you shouldn't even be friends with him after that. someone like that is someone you should be very, very careful of. do yourself a favor and distance yourself as far away as possible but at the same time, watch him because he sounds like somebody that's very off.
I disagree with needshelp; I think that although you should be cautious about what you disclose to him in the future, it's great that you are able to move past what he tried to do to any extent at all. He may have "ulterior motives" in trying to gain your trust, but he may not, and why not give him the benefit of the doubt? Since he pretends that you are best of buddies, maybe you could bring it up with him and judge what to do/how to treat him based on that conversation.
okay just my personal opinion and this is your life so take this with as big a pinch of salt as you want to. I have met similar people growing up and although it is possible he want's to be your friend now I would say it is very unlikely due to the way he has behaved up to this point, I think you are taking a very mature path and I think it's a good idea to just neutralise his efforts to befriend you unless you can find a very valid reason to trust him. Also what do your other friends think about him? does he have a reputation of being a bully? Please keep us updated and remember to always think about your personal safety first when dealing with people like this.
This is my gut feeling now... but I think he's looking for more stuff to tear you down with. Feel free to take that with a pinch of salt, but usually it's once a homophobe, always a homophobe.
@needshelp: We're hardly friends, I'm just being nice if not a little distanced from him. I know for a fact that he himself feels embarrassed for not drawing any attention and is averting making amends by silly, childish behaviour. @Pilgrim is hot: He isn't a bully, he's just one of those people that hate others for being unique (not counting homosexuality). That means he dislikes me for not being your typical, archetypal male (beer, girls and rugby). While this might be a rather primitive stereotype to people who know better, it's his shallow, philosophical norm and he believes that all people that go against it are retards (also, I hear he's pretty promiscuous). Still, bully is a bit of a strong word for people like him.
Because the OP described the guy has "having a knife under his cloak" towards the OP, tries to out the OP and is now "flirting" with him. That is not good, healthy nor safe, in my opinion anyhow. :/ He doesn't want to be friends. He just wants more ammunition.
It's a very mature attitude you've taken - more than a lot of people could manage in your situation. You'd be entirely justified to want nothing to do with him. He obviously doesn't really want to be friends anyway, he's probably embarrassed about what happened, so it says a lot about you that you're prepared to be nice to him.
I pretty much agree with everyone else on this one. Just be careful and know what you're getting into. That's all I'd suggest. Keep us updated. Hope it works out.
