I've been out in college since fall now, and since then I've met a lot of gay friends. One of my best friends, and future roommate, is gay. When the conversation turns to sex he always makes it very clear that he's a top, has never bottomed, and never intends to. He even makes a bunch of puns all the time about how he's a top. Since hearing all of this, I've also heard a lot of my other gay friends talk about their sex lives. In one joking conversation, two of my friends were teasing each other about how one of them bottoms more than he tops. I'm new to the gay and open community, and was just wondering where all of this insecurity about bottoming is coming from? I'm still a virgin, but confidently tell my friends that I'm versatile, because let's be honest, how can we know we don't like something if we've never tried it. Back to the point. Do guys in the gay community consider bottoms lesser gays or something? are they considered to be more gay then tops? someone please explain.
I think it is just mostly personal preference. I know personally I have only ever been a top, but I have definitely been interested in trying to bottom with the right person of course. I don't think it makes any difference or has anything to do with someones personality, level being gay or comfort level with being gay. Everyone likes different things when it comes to sex and that can apply to any couple straight or gay.
Traditionally, the view had been that only receivers, whether of oral or anal, were gay. This is still a common belief, stemming from the idea that all a guy needs is a warm, wet hole.
My guess is that it happens because we still live in a society where, if you are a man, being womanly is something to be ashamed of (a message that pervades regardless of you sexuality), which explains why so many masculine gays shame feminine gays. In typical sex, the woman receives while the man penetrates, so penetrating is seen as masculine, while receiving is seen as feminine. As such, I think it's machismo that causes bottom-shaming.
the ironic thing is that there is nothing different between the rectal physiology of a gay male compaired to a straight male... There are straight guys who like anal penetration (strapons and dildos). I agree that social additudes about masculinity probably do play a part. but scientifically speaking, sexuality has little relevance to if you like being a top or a bottom. the joke being 'all guys like bottoming'. maybe some have had bad experinces with guys topping them that don't know what they are doing.
I never understood the argument that being a bottom makes you less gay. The way I saw it when I was younger was that the bottom chooses guys because they don't have much of a choice of gender since girls do not possess the penis necessary to penetrate them like they desire. Likewise, exclusive tops should be gayer because both men and women possess the means of stimulating their penis, but yet they still choose men.
all rooted in sexism same way that hate for effeminacy in gay men is. Anything associated with being woman like is considered less than and gay culture is really hypermasculinized when evaluated closely.
