there's nothing more worse than people talking about homosexuality and....

[needshelp]

feeling really uncomfortable because you know that someone is banging on the other end of the closet door and you want to just come out so they know. it was pretty much mentioned twice in the workplace and i felt vunerable like i can't come out nor can i stand up to what so and so is saying because they're a homophobe. just ranting.

[chrism29]

yeah man it sucks. been in that situation many times. what i usually end up doing if i dont want to come out of the closet at that time is just saying that there isnt anything wrong with homosexuality (witch there isnt) they usually dont argue back. but it still sucks not being able to come out whe people are talking about it.

[needshelp]

Originally Posted by chrism29

yeah man it sucks. been in that situation many times. what i usually end up doing if i dont want to come out of the closet at that time is just saying that there isnt anything wrong with homosexuality (witch there isnt) they usually dont argue back. but it still sucks not being able to come out whe people are talking about it.

well it takes a lot of balls to do that, man. i won't even do that because it just only leads to people suspecting it. it's between that and the "do you have a girlfriend" question. people unintentionally try to pull the closet door open.

[crazyhead]

I usually just make fun of them for being idiots. I'm a great debater (much to the annoyance of my friends).

[Countervail]

Happened to me a while ago, someone told my gay friend that he is going to hell that makes me want to punch them until their faces bleed. Thank G-d I controlled myself.

[Aeon Magus]

People can be so insensitive. Although, them talking about it means that they do acknowledge that there are homosexual people. I mean, "sins" (if they're such xtians) are discussed in a confessional booth with a priest, not among colleagues. Is it wrong that I think of the "gossip" as progress?

[SA Boy]

I feel the same, i can't bring myself to say anything not wanting to lie about my sexuality but being terrified about coming out, i just nod along.

[Danielle]

I used to be the homophobe that made everyone uncomfortable.

Now I basically say STFU.

[kellymporta]

Yes, it's really uncomfortable, specially if your friends are making homophobic remarks. Usually, in those cases I just tell my friends that they should just let gay people be themselves. I mean, it's not like they are going to affect your life. Finally, if they are still arguing, I just joke about how gay it is to be spending our time talking about gay people.

[dreamcatcher]

Ugh, I agree. I hate it when my family or acquaintances go on and on about gay people. I normally just stay quiet now as there's nothing I can really say to change their minds.

[littlebear133]

only thing you can do is try to tell them how hurtful and offensive it od

[needshelp]

Originally Posted by kellymporta

Yes, it's really uncomfortable, specially if your friends are making homophobic remarks. Usually, in those cases I just tell my friends that they should just let gay people be themselves. I mean, it's not like they are going to affect your life. Finally, if they are still arguing, I just joke about how gay it is to be spending our time talking about gay people.

yeah, this happened last week with a close homie of mine. he said something to the nature of "i can't stand gay people" or something like that and i didn't have the guts to stand up for myself because i felt that i would have said something i wasn't ready to say. it takes a lot of guts to be in the closet and stand up to those that make homophobic comments. you know, have any of your friends asked if you're gay?

Originally Posted by dreamcatcher

Ugh, I agree. I hate it when my family or acquaintances go on and on about gay people. I normally just stay quiet now as there's nothing I can really say to change their minds.

yeah, it makes the possibility of coming out even worse because here they are letting you know that they don't like gay people and what they're doing to that person could be you next. you know, that's the thing. one minute, they love you and care about you. the next minute, you come out the closet and everything changes like they don't like you anymore because you're gay. you were the same person who you were since yesterday and suddenly you're on the outs because you like apples instead of oranges like everyone else. it's ridiculous.


but something related to this topic, something happened at my job yesterday which involved someone making a comment about extra beef and then proceeded to say no homo after that. i was offended but i pretended like everything was all cool. i felt as if i was helpless at that point. i can't tell him off without exposing myself to him and those around me which were watching.

---------- Post added 11th Dec 2011 at 09:27 PM ----------

Originally Posted by littlebear133

only thing you can do is try to tell them how hurtful and offensive it od

yeah, i would but i'm not out at all and don't feel comfortable with being openly gay yet.

[Bi As A Kite]

I used to go quietly insane, mega-concentrating on not going red, trying to keep a level voice pitch....now I just let it go.

[xXPsychedelicXx]

I know exactly how you feel. In fact, this actually happened to me a little while back. Two friends of mine (let's call them Nick and Sally) were saying some pretty disgusting homophobic things. Sally is about as religious as they come (Conservative Mormon, born and raised), and she started going on about how being gay is "wrong" and a "horrible disease". You know, the usual. I always knew she was homophobic, but when Nick agreed with her, my opinion of him went down the drain.
A few nights ago, Nick and I were chilling, and the topic of gay rights was brought up. I actually brought it up, because I wanted to see his reaction. I told him that it was a topic close to my heart, and that anybody who makes gay slurs will definitely get a piece of my mind. He surprised me by saying that while he would be uncomfortable if another man started flirting with him, he's trying to become more accepting of all people. Somehow, it just happened, and I came out to him as a bisexual. His response was so unexpected. "Woah... so you're attracted to girls too? That's actually really sexy. No, but seriously, are you? Wow. I would never have guessed. Thank you for trusting me enough to share something so personal." He even came to me the next day and apologised for every homophobic comment he's ever made.
Just thought I'd share my experience. See, defending yourself doesn't always turn out badly.

[littlebear133]

I mean how hurtful it is in general, plus you can tell them its highly unprofessinal

[kellymporta]

Originally Posted by needshelp

yeah, this happened last week with a close homie of mine. he said something to the nature of "i can't stand gay people" or something like that and i didn't have the guts to stand up for myself because i felt that i would have said something i wasn't ready to say. it takes a lot of guts to be in the closet and stand up to those that make homophobic comments. you know, have any of your friends asked if you're gay?

From college no one has asked me if I'm gay because I don't look stereotypically gay. As for the comments, the key is that I don't get too defensive when trying to stop the homophobic remarks. For example, instead of saying that I support gay marriage I just say that gay couples don't affect my life since being gay isn't contagious. Instead of saying that I support gay adoption, I just point out that homeless children are at greater risk of becoming criminals in the future. You get the idea. Finally, I also have my humorous responses. For example, telling them that "if more guys were gay there would be more girls available for us".

[Hana Solo]

you like apples instead of oranges like everyone else. it's ridiculous.

On a completely unrelated note... I hate oranges and love apples just had to say that.

[FleetFish]

I sometimes think of a time in high school when a teacher (of all people!) was being really homophobic and saying he "doesn't support that lifestyle" and I was just quietly fuming with rage. I wish I could go back and say my piece, but at the time I didn't have the self-confidence to stand up to authority figures, especially in front of a class full of peers who would laugh me down.

[DarkClarity]

Normally when I heard a discussion about homosexuality it's just normally bullshit. I usually think to myself "your talking rubbish" and get on with my day. Sometimes when somebody says something really homophobic I do wish that I could challenge them. But, I don't have the balls to interrupt and tell them the facts.

[hml8]

If they're saying it from a 'Christian' point of view I just sit and think to myself that there is only one mention of homosexuality in the Bible whereas there is many prohibitions of ridiculous other things that I'm sure they all do.