for those that are not out yet, do you ever worry that someone...

[needshelp]

you might know such as an acquaintance or someone who knows you by any chance but don't hang around finding out your secret because they saw you at a gay club, at an LGBT center, or happened to hear your secret from someone you told but they swore to never tell your secret?



my biggest concern is that someone who i might happen to know who isn't a family member or a friend and is just an acquaintance or someone who happens to know me but isn't close to me sees me at the LGBT center, gay club, or something for gay men. i'm afraid that they'll know that i'm gay (because which straight person is going to be at the LGBT center or a gay bar) and happen to tell everybody or even use it to coerce me into doing something for them that i don't want to do. (for example, you date me or i'm going to let so and so know and then they're going to out you to your friend or right at your job in front of your boss or i'm going to out you on facebook)

[malachite]

Well, that’s legitimate concern but I wouldn’t give it too much worry.

If someone spots you at a gay club, it’s safe to assume they’re gay, or gay friendly, so unless they are a total dick, they should keep your secret if you ask them to.

Those of us that are out, we in the closet at some point, so we know what that need to keep a lid on things feels like.

[needshelp]

Originally Posted by malachite

Well, that’s legitimate concern but I wouldn’t give it too much worry.

If someone spots you at a gay club, it’s safe to assume they’re gay, or gay friendly, so unless they are a total dick, they should keep your secret if you ask them to.Those of us that are out, we in the closet at some point, so we know what that need to keep a lid on things feels like.

see that's the thing. there are some people that are just downright mean and they could care less about what you're going through. finding out someone's secret gives them power over someone. with some people are exactly that, complete dicks like those students that taped the guy at rutgers who killed himself. they might see you at somewhere and because they have nothing better to do with their time or want to be assholes, they'll start gossipping on you on facebook or to people about your business. you might not even have the chance to get to approach the person because you either don't see them and even if you tell them not to, they might go behind your back and tell someone else. hell, another thing that gets me creeped out are people that know your business trying to use it to coerce you to do certain things or they'll out you to everyone.

[pronua]

I think i'm pretty safe. No one has ever asked me if i'm gay before, and I've never been to an LGBT club.

[TheEdend]

When I was in the closet I was pretty paranoid about it all. Its actually one of the main reasons why I decided to come out. The feeling of being able to stop worrying about it and being able to take the control of the situation is very liberating.

That being said, it isn't as huge of a risk as you would think. Like malachite said, if they person who saw you is gay then the chances of them fucking you over are pretty slim.