Rambling

[LdSlnce]

So, going off my sex, I'd say I'm a Kinsey 5.8! If you asked me yeterday, I'd say I'd rate in at 6, but today...well I found myself a little attracted to my guy friend. But, it might be because I haven't seen him in person for a long time (I'm homeschooled). I tend to "fall in love" with a person's personality - but that's over text and stuff. In person, my attraction goes to the girls. I don't know...that might be what caused me to say I was bisexual at 13...but, maybe the correct term would be pansexual? No idea...well anyways, yup!

I do like girls - they drive me absolutely wild! And when I..uh, have "happy time," they are the only thing I can imagine. Granted, my body just responds, but I'm never into it when I think of a guy. Actually...I feel a little sick after. But I do find myself fantasizing about guys when having happy time, but it isn't really because I want to. It's more an old habit from trying to get myself straight. Did you catch the pun? No? Oh, well...that's ok.

It's weird, and confusing...I can acknowledge I'm a girl, but I don't feel girl. I remember always being mistaken as a boy when I would chat online, and I never minded - I felt a bit proud. And when I hit 9 years old, I wanted to dress as a boy. But I always had that secret desire of being a boy ever since I was...5? Never really told my mama! But even though I want to be a boy, I like being a girl. The whole "fine line" between male and female is a bit non-existent to me. I've always felt that boys and girls can do what girls and boys do (please notice I changed the order to have it make more sense). Due to this fact, I don't really think that there is such a thing as "girl and boy." It seems a bit...odd to me. So I don't consider myself male OR female, but both at the same time, saying that there is a line between girl and boy - past the genitals.

That's what makes me wonder if I'm really an androgyne! I can't even say the word...looked it up and everything but no luck with it. From my understanding, an androgyne is someone who feels they are neither male or female OR feels they are male and female at the same time, feeling more masculine or feminine somedays. So I'm a little torn up about what I would be considered. I'm not looking for a label, I'm just curious. It would be a little nice to know what it is that I'm feeling. Get what I'm saying? Until then, I'm just going as genderqueer: the umbrella term. It's so much easier to say!

Current coming out situation is ok - one negative response. The negative response hurt a little because it came from someone I was pretty close to; friends for a year? Yeah, a slight bond was formed. He wasn't cool with it...I mean, I told him that I'm questioning if I was lesbian - he was fine. I told him...two days ago that I'm gay (no one knows of my gender questioning) and he tells me to leave him alone. First off, what the hell?! Why is he suddenly so mean about it? Did he like me or something? Or is he going through a rough time? If it's the latter, ok...but that doesn't mean he can flip out on me. I got feelings, Pokey! (That's my nickname for him, inside joke). Other than that, it's going great! Just need to tell my mom, brothers, and close friends and relatives. After that, I'll consider myself out of the closet! People will just have to ask if I am or not. Really though, after I come out to those people, I'll give them time to soak it in and adjust to to it slightly before I am open about my liking of girls.

Example: I will talk about having the hots for Emily Browning/Scarlett Johansson.

Yes people, I do have the hots for those two actresses! If there was hope of them being remotely interested in girls, I'd be there along with whoever else feels the same! Unless they have had cosmetic surgery that was not needed. That is not very sexy at all, people . If it was to change their sex, ok, no problem!

Oh yeah, the people who are biologically male, but identify themselves as female, I consider females. Therefore, I am attracted to her. I'd consider myself to be in a "homosexual" realtionship, going off of my sex, even if they considered it a "heterosexual" relationship. That's just how it is.

Going back to the previous paragraph... I do not particularly like when a person undergoes surgery that they didn't need. If it was a female with large brests that caused her daily pain, I'd understand if she got surgery to ease the pain. Why? Because it's needed. But the "shallow surgeries" totally take away from a person's appeal in my honest opinion. But, as long as I don't know, I'll still admire . Yeah, I'm a little bit of a hypocrite...


There, you reached the end of my rambling!

[Hana Solo]

My girlfriend is stuck in a male body I still consider her my girlfriend I liked your rambling

[LdSlnce]

Originally Posted by Hana Solo

My girlfriend is stuck in a male body I still consider her my girlfriend I liked your rambling

If I was in that "situation," I'd consider her my girlfriend, too!
Aw thanks this rambling session was a bit spur of the moment due to my lack of ability to sleep right now

[Hana Solo]

Well, she is my girlfriend!

I actually found it really easy to read And interesting too

[ESA3NZ]

Originally Posted by LdSlnce

So, going off my sex, I'd say I'm a Kinsey 5.8! If you asked me yeterday, I'd say I'd rate in at 6, but today...well I found myself a little attracted to my guy friend. But, it might be because I haven't seen him in person for a long time (I'm homeschooled). I tend to "fall in love" with a person's personality - but that's over text and stuff. In person, my attraction goes to the girls. I don't know...that might be what caused me to say I was bisexual at 13...but, maybe the correct term would be pansexual? No idea...well anyways, yup!

I do like girls - they drive me absolutely wild! And when I..uh, have "happy time," they are the only thing I can imagine. Granted, my body just responds, but I'm never into it when I think of a guy. Actually...I feel a little sick after. But I do find myself fantasizing about guys when having happy time, but it isn't really because I want to. It's more an old habit from trying to get myself straight. Did you catch the pun? No? Oh, well...that's ok.

It's weird, and confusing...I can acknowledge I'm a girl, but I don't feel girl. I remember always being mistaken as a boy when I would chat online, and I never minded - I felt a bit proud. And when I hit 9 years old, I wanted to dress as a boy. But I always had that secret desire of being a boy ever since I was...5? Never really told my mama! But even though I want to be a boy, I like being a girl. The whole "fine line" between male and female is a bit non-existent to me. I've always felt that boys and girls can do what girls and boys do (please notice I changed the order to have it make more sense). Due to this fact, I don't really think that there is such a thing as "girl and boy." It seems a bit...odd to me. So I don't consider myself male OR female, but both at the same time, saying that there is a line between girl and boy - past the genitals.

That's what makes me wonder if I'm really an androgyne! I can't even say the word...looked it up and everything but no luck with it. From my understanding, an androgyne is someone who feels they are neither male or female OR feels they are male and female at the same time, feeling more masculine or feminine somedays. So I'm a little torn up about what I would be considered. I'm not looking for a label, I'm just curious. It would be a little nice to know what it is that I'm feeling. Get what I'm saying? Until then, I'm just going as genderqueer: the umbrella term. It's so much easier to say!

Current coming out situation is ok - one negative response. The negative response hurt a little because it came from someone I was pretty close to; friends for a year? Yeah, a slight bond was formed. He wasn't cool with it...I mean, I told him that I'm questioning if I was lesbian - he was fine. I told him...two days ago that I'm gay (no one knows of my gender questioning) and he tells me to leave him alone. First off, what the hell?! Why is he suddenly so mean about it? Did he like me or something? Or is he going through a rough time? If it's the latter, ok...but that doesn't mean he can flip out on me. I got feelings, Pokey! (That's my nickname for him, inside joke). Other than that, it's going great! Just need to tell my mom, brothers, and close friends and relatives. After that, I'll consider myself out of the closet! People will just have to ask if I am or not. Really though, after I come out to those people, I'll give them time to soak it in and adjust to to it slightly before I am open about my liking of girls.

Example: I will talk about having the hots for Emily Browning/Scarlett Johansson.

Yes people, I do have the hots for those two actresses! If there was hope of them being remotely interested in girls, I'd be there along with whoever else feels the same! Unless they have had cosmetic surgery that was not needed. That is not very sexy at all, people . If it was to change their sex, ok, no problem!

Oh yeah, the people who are biologically male, but identify themselves as female, I consider females. Therefore, I am attracted to her. I'd consider myself to be in a "homosexual" realtionship, going off of my sex, even if they considered it a "heterosexual" relationship. That's just how it is.

Going back to the previous paragraph... I do not particularly like when a person undergoes surgery that they didn't need. If it was a female with large brests that caused her daily pain, I'd understand if she got surgery to ease the pain. Why? Because it's needed. But the "shallow surgeries" totally take away from a person's appeal in my honest opinion. But, as long as I don't know, I'll still admire . Yeah, I'm a little bit of a hypocrite...


There, you reached the end of my rambling!

Awesome. Maybe Pokey's jus jealous..
Why can't you jus be an Androgenous GenderQueer Pansexual!??! Cover all the basis!

Im glad ur open to all the possibilities & u dnt have to figure everything out all at once. Jus go with whatever makes u happy.

Btw: I got the Pun!

[Hana Solo]

Yeah, I got the pun too. XD.

[LdSlnce]

Originally Posted by Hana Solo

Well, she is my girlfriend!

I actually found it really easy to read And interesting too

Well obviously!(:
That means a lot! Thank you

Originally Posted by ESA3NZ

Awesome. Maybe Pokey's jus jealous..
Why can't you jus be an Androgenous GenderQueer Pansexual!??! Cover all the basis!

Im glad ur open to all the possibilities & u dnt have to figure everything out all at once. Jus go with whatever makes u happy.

Btw: I got the Pun!

Maybe he is!
That...sounds like a good idea For real, it's tempting! But I can harldy say it Dx I'm hopeless with big, science words
YAY! I was wondering if anyone did!

Originally Posted by Hana Solo

Yeah, I got the pun too. XD.

Yes! Awesome