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| Chit Chat General discussion of topics of interest to LGBT people of all ages. |
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22nd Dec 2011, 12:02 PM
| #1 |
| ABBA & Eurovision <3 Full Member   Gender: Female Orientation: Bi-Winning Out Status: Everyone that matters. Location: Portugal Age: 18 Posts: 1,168 Join Date: Jul 2010 |  Friends making plans in front of you. I was wondering if anyone else has been in this sort of situation. My friends make plans in front of me all the time and I just stand there awkwardly like "Okay, I'm right here..." It's not like I'm dying to go with them, it's not that. It just hurts to feel invisible around your own friends. If they want to make plans that don't include me, why don't they wait until I'm gone? Why must they do it in front of me? Anyone else been there? How do you cope?
__________________ Yaoi is my oxygen...  Last edited by Super Trouper; 22nd Dec 2011 at 12:13 PM.. |
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22nd Dec 2011, 01:22 PM
| #2 |
| A soldier on my own Full Member  Gender: Dude Orientation: Dudes Out Status: 1 Age: 17 Posts: 260 Join Date: Dec 2011 | Re: Friends making plans in front of you. Yap, it happends over here all the time, as you Im not really into going with them but it doesnt feel that nice to be left out either. |
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22nd Dec 2011, 11:33 PM
| #3 |
| EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member   Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011 | Re: Friends making plans in front of you. I still haven't found a way to cope with that but it happens a lot on my end as well. Its so degrading, like why are they friends with me? ---------- Post added 22nd Dec 2011 at 11:33 PM ---------- I still haven't found a way to cope with that but it happens a lot on my end as well. Its so degrading, like why are they friends with me?
__________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway |
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23rd Dec 2011, 09:23 PM
| #4 |
| Well Known Full Member   Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 3 Friends & my pops. Location: Maryland Age: 26 Posts: 117 Join Date: Jan 2011 | Re: Friends making plans in front of you. It only happens to me when my friends know that they'd be doing something I wouldn't be interested in anyway... |
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24th Dec 2011, 02:26 AM
| #5 |
| EC Addict Full Member  Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Can't tell L!O!L Age: 24 Posts: 437 Join Date: May 2005 | Re: Friends making plans in front of you. I used to have a friend like that in the past everytime i hang out i would invite him to come out and on the flip side he would never ask me to hang out with him. And when i confronted him he said i was being needy. You know who your friends are, If they are doing it often they maybe u stop being their friends. Thankfully the friends i have always ask me if i want to come even if it doesn't interest me its still nice to hear them ask me.
__________________ http://209.50.252.116/smile.gif Last edited by ok455; 24th Dec 2011 at 02:31 AM.. |
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24th Dec 2011, 03:10 AM
| #6 |
| EC Addict Full Member  Gender: Female/Femme Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon Age: 32 Posts: 1,085 Join Date: Feb 2011 | Re: Friends making plans in front of you. Sometimes, people think that you must know you are invited, since you are standing there listening to them talk about it. They may not think a direct invitation is necessary. Next time, try assuming that you are invited along. The either won't mind, or they will stop making plans in front of you when they don't mean for you to come along. |
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24th Dec 2011, 11:15 AM
| #7 |
| EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: To one person only Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 350 Join Date: Jun 2011 | Re: Friends making plans in front of you. I haven't had that problem. When they make plans I am included. They don't make other plans in front of me. |
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25th Dec 2011, 12:52 AM
| #8 |
| Now I know I'm living for who I am Regular Member   Gender: Male Orientation: Gay dude Out Status: Most family & friends; more in due time Location: Arizona Age: 25 Posts: 161 Join Date: Sep 2011 | Re: Friends making plans in front of you. Most of the time I've had friends make plans when I'm not around, but sometimes they'll mention events in front of me (seemed more prevalent in high school though) where I wasn't explicitly included. When you get older though, there are new friend dynamics that evolve where you still get left out (e.g. your friends spend ALL their spare time with a significant other, or friends that are partnered up/married only hang out with other couples). However, there are some that I know are true friends who don't fall into these categories and will make time to hang out with me regardless of their other relationship statuses.
__________________ "You do what you love and fuck the rest"--Little Miss Sunshine |
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