Regrets about 2011? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Hana Solo · 26th Dec 2011, 05:01 PM

I know I have them. So do you? Is there anything you'd change if you had the chance? Is there anything you want to say to anyone?

**Maddy** · 26th Dec 2011, 05:12 PM

Biggest regret is self-harming for the first time in more than five years. I'm coming out of the year with a few new scars and a bit of nerve damage in my wrist and I regret it every single day.

Hana Solo · 26th Dec 2011, 05:29 PM

I just wish I'd said 'I'm sorry' sooner, before it was too late. I wish I'd managed to bridge the gap. I regret ever harming, as now when I feel down I get the urge to harm. I wish I wasn't so scared of the world.

Sheyceli · 26th Dec 2011, 05:54 PM

My biggest regret is not spending enough time with my siblings, caring enough about my grades, or having my head on straight for the first half of the year.

Black Cat · 26th Dec 2011, 06:56 PM

I don't believe in regret. And 2011 reassured me not too, since I let myself feel it once, and I spiraled downward from there. My only regret is letting myself regret something this year. I hope to never do it again.

Zontar · 26th Dec 2011, 06:57 PM

I didn't even try to get laid.

Mad Man L · 27th Dec 2011, 03:25 AM

I'd say one is not getting a GF/BF, and the other is taking so damn long to get over my straight crush. FFS, it was/is getting beyond a joke how long I was/am taking to get over him.

Hana Solo · 27th Dec 2011, 04:38 AM

Well I've been struggling to get over the boy I fell in love with for years now. Like, three, Madman. It takes time.

Uniboth · 27th Dec 2011, 05:49 AM

This year (and the majority of last year) taught me a lot about life and the things I have to do to live it happily. While I wouldn't wish the things I've experienced on anyone, I learned too much to regret any of it. Although, I'm really hoping to be traumatized enough that I won't ever let it happen again.

Sadly, I've developed a weekly ups and downs mood swing kinda thing. I'd be happy one day, then all kinds of depressed the next. I guess that's normal. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I have learned to make the best of the ups though...like this very moment (yep, posting on EC is me taking advantage of my ups

).

Countervail · 27th Dec 2011, 05:56 AM

regret:I missed the chance to say,"Fvcak you @#U%$tch!!" in front of my best friend's face, I wasted my time on her, all these years.

fiddledeedee · 27th Dec 2011, 06:42 AM

I cut for the first time. I am annoyed at myself for not working harder in school and all, but that's to be expected and ignored; the self-harm, not so much.

IanGallagher · 27th Dec 2011, 10:29 AM

I fell in love with an amazing guy and ruined it because I was too scared to admit that in that instance I'd rather have a boyfriend than a girlfriend. I was too afraid of what others might think of me suddenly dating a boy, that I chose the girl for gender alone and lost everything. If I had to do it all over again, I'd tell him and show him how I really felt about him. It made me realize I have to follow my heart.

Daisy1 · 27th Dec 2011, 10:31 AM

I wish I had taken the time to explore my sexuality sooner.

Aielar · 27th Dec 2011, 10:43 AM

I don't believe I've had any regrets from 2011: it's been a pretty good year for me. My family is closer to each other than it's been in about eight years, I am mostly out of the closet except for a few people, and I am on my way to finishing my diploma and getting off the Island

I do regret not losing the extra few pounds I have, and not eating healthier, but those are my new years resolutions.

27th Dec 2011, 11:25 AM

I don't regret often, but I regret spending so much time on the same person that in the back of my head I knew that she wasn't into me :/

Markio · 27th Dec 2011, 06:06 PM

I regret not figuring out what to do with my life. I had a very busy semester and I was very stressed out doing everything, and I'm proud that I got through it all, but I still feel like my life is over after I graduate. I do not want to live back at home with my parents, which means going to graduate school, but I don't want to go to graduate school to study something I am uncertain about pursuing as a long-term career.

I regret not having enough life experiences to make more informed choices about my future.

Rooni321 · 27th Dec 2011, 06:12 PM

I don't really regret anything.
I do wish though that I didn't fall in love so quickly and become weak when it came to the people I was in love with.
I've really gotta work on that! I loved twice this year, thank goodness the second one has some sort of potential to flourish and turn into a mutual 'in love' -_-

DJT · 27th Dec 2011, 06:19 PM

My regret is ... Not having much of a life to have regrets :/. Oh the irony!

BudderMC · 27th Dec 2011, 07:30 PM

The obvious one is I regret not coming out sooner. Even though I'm not done yet I can see that life being "out" is going to be way better.

Beyond that though, I regret not learning to follow my gut more. Partway through the year it became my mindset that I should follow my gut, because usually my first instinct pans out better than when I second-guess. I wish I learned that lesson sooner. Even if it doesn't always work out best, at least I'm being honest in what I'm doing.

Gravity · 27th Dec 2011, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IanGallagher

I fell in love with an amazing guy and ruined it because I was too scared to admit that in that instance I'd rather have a boyfriend than a girlfriend. I was too afraid of what others might think of me suddenly dating a boy, that I chose the girl for gender alone and lost everything. If I had to do it all over again, I'd tell him and show him how I really felt about him. It made me realize I have to follow my heart.

I regret something similar. I screwed up what I am pretty sure was a good thing with a guy I met near the beginning of this year because I was too scared to try a long-distance relationship, which had hurt me in the past. Turns out he's moving near me soon but no longer has any interest in me. Oooh well.

So if I had to have a resolution for the new year, it would be something along the lines of the "love like you've never been hurt" deal. I'm ready for someone to come along and I'm tired of giving myself excuses to turn away.

Here's hoping we both follow our hearts!

26th Dec 2011, 05:01 PM	#1
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Regrets about 2011? I know I have them. So do you? Is there anything you'd change if you had the chance? Is there anything you want to say to anyone? __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

26th Dec 2011, 05:12 PM	#2
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Regrets about 2011? Biggest regret is self-harming for the first time in more than five years. I'm coming out of the year with a few new scars and a bit of nerve damage in my wrist and I regret it every single day. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

26th Dec 2011, 05:29 PM	#3
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? I just wish I'd said 'I'm sorry' sooner, before it was too late. I wish I'd managed to bridge the gap. I regret ever harming, as now when I feel down I get the urge to harm. I wish I wasn't so scared of the world. __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

26th Dec 2011, 05:54 PM	#4
Sheyceli lieks Mudkipz Full Member Gender: physically female Orientation: homoromantic asexual Out Status: one friend Location: Michigan Age: 16 Posts: 541 Join Date: Mar 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? My biggest regret is not spending enough time with my siblings, caring enough about my grades, or having my head on straight for the first half of the year. __________________ "Special doesn't have many kids, so the class is very close. The family feeling is greater here than anywhere else. They call us "weirdos" and "trash", but that doesn't mean anything. Don't struggle to keep up a facade for rankings or fitting in. Just live your life to the fullest!" -T. A.

26th Dec 2011, 06:56 PM	#5
Black Cat As Seen On Hoarders... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania, with the cows Age: 21 Posts: 2,391 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: Regrets about 2011? I don't believe in regret. And 2011 reassured me not too, since I let myself feel it once, and I spiraled downward from there. My only regret is letting myself regret something this year. I hope to never do it again. __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

26th Dec 2011, 06:57 PM	#6
Zontar Mister Funny Man Full Member Gender: Male Location: Binghampton, NY Posts: 1,539 Join Date: Oct 2010	Re: Regrets about 2011? I didn't even try to get laid. __________________ Get up and open your eyes...Don't ever let yourself ever fall down... Get through it and learn how to fly...I know you'll find a way...today. -Days of the New, "Dirty Road"

27th Dec 2011, 03:25 AM	#7
Mad Man L EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but family Location: Brisbane, Australia Age: 16 Posts: 1,244 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? I'd say one is not getting a GF/BF, and the other is taking so damn long to get over my straight crush. FFS, it was/is getting beyond a joke how long I was/am taking to get over him. __________________ I really should get a proper signature...

27th Dec 2011, 04:38 AM	#8
Hana Solo EC's Dear Abby- talk to me! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Mostly into girls Out Status: Closet is getting a little crowded Location: Not even a dot on the Australian map Age: 17 Posts: 1,096 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? Well I've been struggling to get over the boy I fell in love with for years now. Like, three, Madman. It takes time. __________________ Thor: No matter what he's done, Loki is from Asgard and is my brother Black Widow: He killed 80 people in two days. Thor: ...adopted. ~The Avengers, 2012

27th Dec 2011, 05:49 AM	#9
Uniboth Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Posts: 138 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? This year (and the majority of last year) taught me a lot about life and the things I have to do to live it happily. While I wouldn't wish the things I've experienced on anyone, I learned too much to regret any of it. Although, I'm really hoping to be traumatized enough that I won't ever let it happen again. Sadly, I've developed a weekly ups and downs mood swing kinda thing. I'd be happy one day, then all kinds of depressed the next. I guess that's normal. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I have learned to make the best of the ups though...like this very moment (yep, posting on EC is me taking advantage of my ups ).

27th Dec 2011, 05:56 AM	#10
Countervail EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Questioning Out Status: Not out at all Location: Philippines Age: 16 Posts: 255 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? regret:I missed the chance to say,"Fvcak you @#U%$tch!!" in front of my best friend's face, I wasted my time on her, all these years.

27th Dec 2011, 06:42 AM	#11
fiddledeedee 22/12-31/12+X! Full Member Gender: Complicated female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Most, sans Dad Location: England Age: 15 Posts: 1,128 Join Date: May 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? I cut for the first time. I am annoyed at myself for not working harder in school and all, but that's to be expected and ignored; the self-harm, not so much. __________________ A problem should be measured not by the cause of the problem but by the consequences it has on a person. ~ Anfauglith

27th Dec 2011, 10:29 AM	#12
IanGallagher The fluctuator Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Mutant and proud Out Status: All except work and extended family. Location: I fly as much as Superman Age: 24 Posts: 619 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? I fell in love with an amazing guy and ruined it because I was too scared to admit that in that instance I'd rather have a boyfriend than a girlfriend. I was too afraid of what others might think of me suddenly dating a boy, that I chose the girl for gender alone and lost everything. If I had to do it all over again, I'd tell him and show him how I really felt about him. It made me realize I have to follow my heart. Last edited by IanGallagher; 27th Dec 2011 at 10:32 AM..

27th Dec 2011, 10:31 AM	#13
Daisy1 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Girls Out Status: Pretty much out! Location: East Coast Age: 26 Posts: 307 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? I wish I had taken the time to explore my sexuality sooner.

27th Dec 2011, 10:43 AM	#14
Aielar Timmies Lover <3 Full Member Gender: Possibly bigendered? Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but family Location: Vancouver Island Posts: 221 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? I don't believe I've had any regrets from 2011: it's been a pretty good year for me. My family is closer to each other than it's been in about eight years, I am mostly out of the closet except for a few people, and I am on my way to finishing my diploma and getting off the Island I do regret not losing the extra few pounds I have, and not eating healthier, but those are my new years resolutions.

27th Dec 2011, 11:25 AM	#15
rachel1423 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Regrets about 2011? I don't regret often, but I regret spending so much time on the same person that in the back of my head I knew that she wasn't into me :/

27th Dec 2011, 06:06 PM	#16
Markio EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Family, friends, and staff! Location: California Age: 21 Posts: 1,140 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Regrets about 2011? I regret not figuring out what to do with my life. I had a very busy semester and I was very stressed out doing everything, and I'm proud that I got through it all, but I still feel like my life is over after I graduate. I do not want to live back at home with my parents, which means going to graduate school, but I don't want to go to graduate school to study something I am uncertain about pursuing as a long-term career. I regret not having enough life experiences to make more informed choices about my future. __________________ Celebrate diversity!

27th Dec 2011, 06:12 PM	#17
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? I don't really regret anything. I do wish though that I didn't fall in love so quickly and become weak when it came to the people I was in love with. I've really gotta work on that! I loved twice this year, thank goodness the second one has some sort of potential to flourish and turn into a mutual 'in love' -_- __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway

27th Dec 2011, 06:19 PM	#18
DJT EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: I'm having adventures in Narnia, with Aslan Location: England - Preston Age: 18 Posts: 413 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Regrets about 2011? My regret is ... Not having much of a life to have regrets :/. Oh the irony! __________________ Willow Hi, um... Tara. How are you? I was wondering... do you want to go out sometime? For coffee? Or food? Or kisses and gay love?

27th Dec 2011, 07:30 PM	#19
BudderMC playing Devil's advocate. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I have caught 'the gay'. Out Status: Out at university! Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 20 Posts: 716 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: Regrets about 2011? The obvious one is I regret not coming out sooner. Even though I'm not done yet I can see that life being "out" is going to be way better. Beyond that though, I regret not learning to follow my gut more. Partway through the year it became my mindset that I should follow my gut, because usually my first instinct pans out better than when I second-guess. I wish I learned that lesson sooner. Even if it doesn't always work out best, at least I'm being honest in what I'm doing. __________________