How to Figure out if a friend is gay aswell without asking - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

LivingLife · 30th Dec 2011, 01:40 PM

Well the title says it all

I know the "you won't really know for sure without asking" thing but I just kind of want some clues, u know...

Robert · 30th Dec 2011, 01:53 PM

Does your friend know you are gay?

LivingLife · 30th Dec 2011, 02:00 PM

Noope I'm not out to anyone :P

Azza · 30th Dec 2011, 02:08 PM

Well seems you can't ask them have they ever had a girlfriend? Do they frequently show an interest in women? That's probably the best way to tell if someone is gay or not, try not to go off stereotypes as they can usually be unreliable! Also you could probably check for them checking out guys (I'm assuming there a guy) it'll be a quick glance as you can't really help it if a hot guy walks past

but there isn't really a sure way of knowing without asking.

Robert · 30th Dec 2011, 02:15 PM

Suggestions:

Invite him to a sleep over, walk around in your underwear and judge his reaction.
Come out to him.
Check his internet browser history and other such things.
Tell him a secret of yours (do you have any significant other ones?).
Find a film which has a passing reference to someone in it being gay, pretend you've never seen it before and suggest that you watch it together. When the gay thing comes up say; "I wonder what its like to be gay?" judge his reaction.

What do you have against just asking him?
What makes you think he might be gay?

LivingLife · 30th Dec 2011, 05:16 PM

Aw thanks the Sleepover thing made me laugh sounds like youve done this sort of thing before eh?

30th Dec 2011, 05:55 PM

I think the best way to tell if someone is gay or not is to look at what they're looking at. Sub-consciously, people like to look at things they find attractive and so, if your friend tends to look at girls more than guys, it's a safe assumption that he's heterosexual. It works on the opposite end of spectrum as well. However, there's always the peripheral vision you have to watch out for because I know that even though I'm talking to a woman and my eyes are obviously on her, I can very well use my peripheral vision to look at a guy I find attractive. It's very hard to catch.

Emberstone · 30th Dec 2011, 08:26 PM

this always works:

+ YouTube Video

but if not, it is always safest just to ask. better than thinking you know, then hitting on them, and making everything so weird you have to spend time apart for a while.

30th Dec 2011, 01:40 PM	#1
LivingLife I'm New! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: 80% Gay 20% Straight, I'm cool like that Out Status: Your the only one who knows ;) Location: England Age: 15 Posts: 56 Join Date: Dec 2011	How to Figure out if a friend is gay aswell without asking Well the title says it all I know the "you won't really know for sure without asking" thing but I just kind of want some clues, u know...

30th Dec 2011, 01:53 PM	#2
Robert EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male ♂ Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: World Posts: 971 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: How to Figure out if a friend is gay aswell without asking Does your friend know you are gay? __________________ "I am like a mirror that dares not be what nature made it, but feels obligated, always, to reflect what surrounds it." - Frederick II of Prussia. "England is a Prison" - Gerrard Winstanley

30th Dec 2011, 02:00 PM	#3
LivingLife I'm New! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: 80% Gay 20% Straight, I'm cool like that Out Status: Your the only one who knows ;) Location: England Age: 15 Posts: 56 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: How to Figure out if a friend is gay aswell without asking Noope I'm not out to anyone :P

30th Dec 2011, 02:08 PM	#4
Azza Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Parents and two friends Location: England Age: 17 Posts: 99 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: How to Figure out if a friend is gay aswell without asking Well seems you can't ask them have they ever had a girlfriend? Do they frequently show an interest in women? That's probably the best way to tell if someone is gay or not, try not to go off stereotypes as they can usually be unreliable! Also you could probably check for them checking out guys (I'm assuming there a guy) it'll be a quick glance as you can't really help it if a hot guy walks past but there isn't really a sure way of knowing without asking.

30th Dec 2011, 02:15 PM	#5
Robert EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male ♂ Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: World Posts: 971 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: How to Figure out if a friend is gay aswell without asking Suggestions: Invite him to a sleep over, walk around in your underwear and judge his reaction. Come out to him. Check his internet browser history and other such things. Tell him a secret of yours (do you have any significant other ones?). Find a film which has a passing reference to someone in it being gay, pretend you've never seen it before and suggest that you watch it together. When the gay thing comes up say; "I wonder what its like to be gay?" judge his reaction. What do you have against just asking him? What makes you think he might be gay? __________________ "I am like a mirror that dares not be what nature made it, but feels obligated, always, to reflect what surrounds it." - Frederick II of Prussia. "England is a Prison" - Gerrard Winstanley

30th Dec 2011, 05:16 PM	#6
LivingLife I'm New! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: 80% Gay 20% Straight, I'm cool like that Out Status: Your the only one who knows ;) Location: England Age: 15 Posts: 56 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: How to Figure out if a friend is gay aswell without asking Aw thanks the Sleepover thing made me laugh sounds like youve done this sort of thing before eh?

30th Dec 2011, 05:55 PM	#7
Suracis Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How to Figure out if a friend is gay aswell without asking I think the best way to tell if someone is gay or not is to look at what they're looking at. Sub-consciously, people like to look at things they find attractive and so, if your friend tends to look at girls more than guys, it's a safe assumption that he's heterosexual. It works on the opposite end of spectrum as well. However, there's always the peripheral vision you have to watch out for because I know that even though I'm talking to a woman and my eyes are obviously on her, I can very well use my peripheral vision to look at a guy I find attractive. It's very hard to catch.

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