Want to vent??

Are you sure you want to start your New Year with me venting?

 

Sure.

Why must I be a turkey burger in a Texas Roadhouse of men?
It's vain, but I'd like to feel liked.

 

You are opening Pandora's Box....
Why do chicks constantly need to get creepy crushes on me? Like seriously I've had two that were on the fringe of Swimfan/Fatal Attraction if I didn't know better. (one always looked at a phone full of pictures of me......)
Why can't their be more gay guys at my school? All the guys I know just don't do it for me (not trying to be shallow, but I'm put off not by their appearance but because of their personalities).
Insert obligatory straight crush problems.
Lastly, damn I'm annoying at ranting.

 

Is there anyone else out there who is a simpleton like me?
Because everyone around me is nuts!
I mean, I hate being so boring sometimes though, but its just me. I can't really do anything about it, I'm from the country

 

I would like to vent if you don't mind.

I've got so many things on my mind.

1. My mom wants me to apply to Harvard. I do not know why she thinks I can do it, I'm really dumb and I'm a bad student, already a Junior and there's no way I making it in.
2. I lost my best friend a few months back. He is a total straight closet case, left me because I had "gayified" the friendship. Whatever.
3. My brother, who was gay, then pan, then asexual, and now just "empty", refuses to talk to me about my spirituality or sexuality.
4. My family is tearing apart, literally spreading across the country next year, and I'm helpless.
5. Nobody thinks I can be a good priest on account of liking men. I've talked to my vocation director, he says there's no issue. But both gay people and straight people I've talked to get really angry about it.
6. Sometimes I sorta just sit there and hate myself, and then the next moment I'm totally in love with myself.
7. I just want to :***: already or something, idk. Life's so boring here. Maybe it's because I am generally unattractive but idc anymore. I've always been fatter and hairier than most guys liking, and I'm not a big clubber, so what to do?

Sorry for numbering them. Thanks for reading if you did.

 

@Cub17
wow, seriously u have it rough, sorry to hear that.
1. about Harvard, tell ur mom how you feel, im sure ur not theat bad, but if youre heart isnt in it then thats your decision.
2. screw your friend, i had something similar, my best friend didnt talk to me after i came out and judged me.
3. maybe give your bro some space, he'll open up when he feels its right, hes probably in a dark confusing place trying to figure hiself out, ive been there.
4. dont feel helpless its not your fault, my parents split and moved to different sides of the world, and i had to choose who to go with, it was hard, i here if u want support.
5.If your vocation director says its fine, then im sure it is, other people must seriously build a bridge and get over themselves.
6. Maybe talk to someone about why you hate yourself
7. We all go through those moments, maybe find a hobbie youre relly intersted in/good at to take your mind off negative things.

Hope that helps.

 

That actually help a lot. Thanks . It was great sort of letting all those out finally.

 

Wow, I completely forgot that my mom has a vague sense of boundary, especially if you're open with her. Apparently coming out has been grounds for her to ask astonishingly awkward questions about the mechanics of my relationship and gay relationships in general.

I hate having to wait at least 15 minutes to answer a text so as to not come across as desperate. I'm not desperate; I just have a good sense of duty to reply quickly because it's common curtesy.

My hometown is incredibly boring, bleak, and annoyingly chilly (either be warm or cold!). I need to get back to Austin bad.

 

Thanks dj!

---------- Post added 2nd Jan 2012 at 08:23 PM ----------

Where do u live? I'm up over by Round Rock.

 

I'll inject some happiness into this thread, and I have to get this off of my chest to someone. ^_^

I'm crushing so hard right now and it's mutual. His name is Jake. He's 23. He's a DJ, and the general manager of my university's radio station. He's sort of a minor celebrity on campus. He's in a fraternity. He's a graduate student going for his master's in business administration and he's adorable. I can't even believe that he would look twice at me much less invite me over to his apartment and then cook for me. We have everything in common. We're party monsters. We're straight A students. He likes MMORPG's as much as I do. We have the same exact taste in music, and that's really saying something because it's all over the map.

Like, a real moment for just a hot second; 2011 was not my year for love. I got dumped last spring by someone who I now rightfully see in retrospect as a total asshole. I met so many slummy guys over the summer and the fall, and nothing ever worked out--they just wanted to sleep around, they were part of a bad crowd, whatever. This is different though and I can feel it in my bones. He's so gentle.

 

He's gay.

 

I started hooking up with a guy in march and he explicitly told me that he did not want a relationship. We got to know each other, but I knew we were only friends until September. He told me he only wanted to stop and just be friends because he thought I was getting too attached because I apparently made a face when he didn't want to stay the night once.

We started again 3 weeks later and said he didn't want anything so I really took it seriously. We continued it again, but started dating in December when he said now he actually did want something now and I asked him out. He broke up with me recently saying he felt used this semester and I think he telling others I used him

I don't get how he can say that since always told me he didn't want any sort of relationship and I followed what he said. I also feel like we didn't even get a chance since winter break started soon after we started dating. I also feel so stupid since his birthday is in January and purchased his presents the week before we broke up and aren't really returnable :eusa_doh:

thats all :dry:

 

My mom called me a useless in considerate bitch yesterday i feel so alone right now

 

A lot of things doesn't really matter...so ytf do I care!? Bleh!!!

 

Not much.. just that school kinda sucks and I am buried in work. It has gotten to me, and I'm kinda depressed, sad and just stressed out. I don't think I'll be able to hand in my thesis before the deadline. I am MILES away from finishing it, and I'm supposed to hand it in by May, and there's NO way I can finish it by then. I work 8-9 hours every day too, it's not like I am just lazy. I am buried in work, and I think I might need an extra semester to finish it. It sucks