Does he like me or is he clowning? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

goodbadenergy · 18th Jan 2012, 01:33 PM

So, I met this guy at school. Very pretty eyes. we became friends, and he started kind of flirting with me a little bit. He rubbed the hair on my arm once, he likes to poke me and touch me, and he came up behind me and blew on my neck to surprise me once. He doesnt know im gay, and i dont IF know he is. He grins ear to ear when he sees me, smiles alot, and doesnt hold eye contact for very long. He also asked me once to put my hands in his pockets to get something out for him. I gave me a pen and said "you are gonna take it and you are gonna like it!" I caught him staring at me once, and he held the gaze for a second and looked away shyly when i noticed. He also looks at my mouth, hair and profile alot. At school, when we had to lift something up onto a wall for a project, he kept grinding his head into my chest. He also texts me and asks when i am gonna see him again. He also quoted that song "what in the butt" and said "i want you to put it in my butt". He also came up to me and whispered "my butt cheeks are so tight". Another thing he did was when he saw something written down, he said "did your boyfriend right this?". In a group conversation he looks at me alot to see if i am laughing, and laughs at all my jokes. one thing i dont get: there was a hot girl at school, like, really hot, and he wanted to "compete" with me to see if i could get her. He hung out with her a couple of times, and she texted him and said "when is our next date?" he texted her back and said "friends dont date". He also seems to keep telling me that he is "avoiding her" and hasnt talked to her in like 2 weeks. remember this girl is HOTT. he obviously doesnt care about hooking up with her, or her feelings. Maybe hes testing me? When he is around a big group of other dudes, he acts straight and talks about hott girls, yet refuses to take it any further. I also saw him looking at my butt, and once he bent over to get something by my package and said "i'm not going for your junk". He'll also say stuff like "i'm gonna go make out with brian!" and "i dont bend down because i'm afraid someone will come up to me and say 'im gonna give it to you good!!" i also have other things that he has done and said. what do you all think?

Ridiculous · 18th Jan 2012, 02:37 PM

How old are you?
Because if I can be so blunt, I think it's just stupid male teenager behaviour.

If you want, come out to him, and then he'll realise that the things he's saying aren't just complete jokes and he may start acting a bit more sincere. Otherwise I would just take what he says at face value: something silly that doesn't really have any meaning behind it.

goodbadenergy · 18th Jan 2012, 02:41 PM

we are both 22

JohnnyBoy · 18th Jan 2012, 02:46 PM

I think he's gay...

I used to do the same things to my straight friend before I came out to gauge their reactions and see if they would by chance go for or...just tell him

needshelp · 18th Jan 2012, 03:26 PM

he's gay and he knows you are too. i say you just cut to the chase. come out to him or just ask him if he's gay but you probably should come out to him. he probably already knows though.

goodbadenergy · 18th Jan 2012, 03:41 PM

He said to me once "your as straight as a rainbow i bet" and "were you trying to get me alone!?! what did you think i want to do with you (as in sex)..." I also put my hand up to my mouth to cough and i guess it looked like i was sucking a dick, because he said "do that again" in a very suggestive way. He also has given me the "suggestive" look and put his finger up to his mouth. He did that once.

Ridiculous · 18th Jan 2012, 03:58 PM

I'm still going to maintain that he is straight and just being playful, because I've seen this behaviour many times before myself, and they were all very much heterosexual. They were all 18 or under though; I would've thought it would've grown out of him by 22 if this was the case.

If you are gay, typically you are either comfortable with it and just get on with things, or you try to hide it. It's very uncommon for a gay male to maintain that he is heterosexual while displaying behaviour like this; as I've already said usually it's just a straight guy joking.

However if you do think there is something genuine there, then you will have to come out to him if you want it to progress further.

goodbadenergy · 18th Jan 2012, 04:51 PM

here is an example of a greeting/exchange between us: HIM: "There she is! Hey princess!" me: "Hey young lady!" him: "hows it goin miss!" he also said "hey goldilocks!" to this blond chick when i was walking behind him and then he said "No! I was talking to him!" (I have blondish hair). He also kind of complimented my eyes, he said "do you have green eyes? (studies them a little bit) No, they are more turquoise". The only other people that have said something like that about my eyes are an ex bf. he also will come see me and talk to me at the 1st chance, even when he was talking to me, someone walking by said to him, "you just cant stay away can you" and he looked at me and laughed. he was watching me once, and i did and said something so funny (that wasnt intentional) and i looked over at him and he turned beet red.

FleetFish · 18th Jan 2012, 05:50 PM

To me, it sounds like he is coming onto you, hard. But I don't have a degree in romanceology, either.

Maybe next time he says something suggestive, say something, like, "How serious are you?" and see if he owns up to it or not.

Keep us updated. I want to know how this turns out.

Z3ni · 18th Jan 2012, 05:57 PM

From a strangers point of view, he likes you!! or hes really sly

goodbadenergy · 18th Jan 2012, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z3ni

From a strangers point of view, he likes you!! or hes really sly

likes me in what way? and what do you mean by sly? i guess i sort of "asked him out" by text when i was drunk and he hates alcohol and drinking and got mad at me for asking him when i was drunl and said i wasnt in my right mind. he also has some youtube vids of hot guys with good hair favorited it and in on of them he says which guy has the best hair in the comments

Z3ni · 18th Jan 2012, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodbadenergy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z3ni

From a strangers point of view, he likes you!! or hes really sly

likes me in what way? and what do you mean by sly? i guess i sort of "asked him out" by text when i was drunk and he hates alcohol and drinking and got mad at me for asking him when i was drunl and said i wasnt in my right mind

Likes you as in like wanting to be with you, sly .. erm nevermind about that

Maybe you should ask him out again, in person.

goodbadenergy · 18th Jan 2012, 06:27 PM

he acts interested in females around other guys but hes not interested, and its almost like he doesnt like to be touched by them. When he was hanging out with this hott girl, he told me he hasnt even touched her. not even a hug. When he is talking about girls to a group of guys, and i join the conversation, he keeps looking at me to see my reaction. I can almost tell hes faking his attraction to girls but im not sure.

FleetFish · 18th Jan 2012, 06:29 PM

Go for the kill, Man.

Go for it.

goodbadenergy · 18th Jan 2012, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleetFish

Go for the kill, Man.

Go for it.

Any ways i should go about this? I also play xbox live sometimes with his older brother, and he will grab the mic away from his brother just so he can talk to me. I hear alot of commotion before he gets ahold of it, or, i will hear him talking to me in the background. hes like "guess what i did today!"

FleetFish · 18th Jan 2012, 06:48 PM

Honestly, I personally prefer a fairly straightforward approach. Like I said, next time he is "jokingly" flirting with you, just ask him how serious he is. Hopefully he takes the opportunity to step to to the plate. If he laughs it off, well, we're back where we started.

That's my plan, anyway. Other people may have other (better) suggestions.

goodbadenergy · 18th Jan 2012, 07:30 PM

one time i said i "feel all warm and fuzzy inside" and he said "i dont want to know what another man feels like". And the day i saw him looking at my butt, i could have looked at his when he bent down, but he jumped up really quick and pulled his shirt over it and looked to see if i was looking. he must be insecure of his sexuality, because straight guys dont give a crap

goodbadenergy · 19th Jan 2012, 05:45 AM

and once i texted him something funny and he texted me "are you sober right now?" and the smiley he used was the one with rosy cheeks.

goodbadenergy · 19th Jan 2012, 06:43 AM

another thing he does to me a lot is "negging" where its an insult wrapped in a complement. He seems to pick fun at my small stature (hes small in stature too wtf). I responded by saying "i'm a tank dude!" and he said "yeah, a hot wheels tank!"

goodbadenergy · 19th Jan 2012, 10:36 PM

saw him today... ugh the excessive smiling and dreamy eyes he shows are driving me mad. He said "sweet! so i do get to see you later!"

18th Jan 2012, 01:33 PM	#1
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Does he like me or is he clowning? So, I met this guy at school. Very pretty eyes. we became friends, and he started kind of flirting with me a little bit. He rubbed the hair on my arm once, he likes to poke me and touch me, and he came up behind me and blew on my neck to surprise me once. He doesnt know im gay, and i dont IF know he is. He grins ear to ear when he sees me, smiles alot, and doesnt hold eye contact for very long. He also asked me once to put my hands in his pockets to get something out for him. I gave me a pen and said "you are gonna take it and you are gonna like it!" I caught him staring at me once, and he held the gaze for a second and looked away shyly when i noticed. He also looks at my mouth, hair and profile alot. At school, when we had to lift something up onto a wall for a project, he kept grinding his head into my chest. He also texts me and asks when i am gonna see him again. He also quoted that song "what in the butt" and said "i want you to put it in my butt". He also came up to me and whispered "my butt cheeks are so tight". Another thing he did was when he saw something written down, he said "did your boyfriend right this?". In a group conversation he looks at me alot to see if i am laughing, and laughs at all my jokes. one thing i dont get: there was a hot girl at school, like, really hot, and he wanted to "compete" with me to see if i could get her. He hung out with her a couple of times, and she texted him and said "when is our next date?" he texted her back and said "friends dont date". He also seems to keep telling me that he is "avoiding her" and hasnt talked to her in like 2 weeks. remember this girl is HOTT. he obviously doesnt care about hooking up with her, or her feelings. Maybe hes testing me? When he is around a big group of other dudes, he acts straight and talks about hott girls, yet refuses to take it any further. I also saw him looking at my butt, and once he bent over to get something by my package and said "i'm not going for your junk". He'll also say stuff like "i'm gonna go make out with brian!" and "i dont bend down because i'm afraid someone will come up to me and say 'im gonna give it to you good!!" i also have other things that he has done and said. what do you all think?

18th Jan 2012, 02:37 PM	#2
Ridiculous EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Friends Location: New Zealand Age: 20 Posts: 934 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? How old are you? Because if I can be so blunt, I think it's just stupid male teenager behaviour. If you want, come out to him, and then he'll realise that the things he's saying aren't just complete jokes and he may start acting a bit more sincere. Otherwise I would just take what he says at face value: something silly that doesn't really have any meaning behind it.

18th Jan 2012, 02:41 PM	#3
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? we are both 22

18th Jan 2012, 02:46 PM	#4
JohnnyBoy I like tuhtles Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: St Louis Age: 22 Posts: 165 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? I think he's gay... I used to do the same things to my straight friend before I came out to gauge their reactions and see if they would by chance go for or...just tell him

18th Jan 2012, 03:26 PM	#5
needshelp really likes you Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: out to some, not family and friends though Location: in a closet near you Age: 25 Posts: 691 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? he's gay and he knows you are too. i say you just cut to the chase. come out to him or just ask him if he's gay but you probably should come out to him. he probably already knows though.

18th Jan 2012, 03:41 PM	#6
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? He said to me once "your as straight as a rainbow i bet" and "were you trying to get me alone!?! what did you think i want to do with you (as in sex)..." I also put my hand up to my mouth to cough and i guess it looked like i was sucking a dick, because he said "do that again" in a very suggestive way. He also has given me the "suggestive" look and put his finger up to his mouth. He did that once.

18th Jan 2012, 03:58 PM	#7
Ridiculous EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Friends Location: New Zealand Age: 20 Posts: 934 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? I'm still going to maintain that he is straight and just being playful, because I've seen this behaviour many times before myself, and they were all very much heterosexual. They were all 18 or under though; I would've thought it would've grown out of him by 22 if this was the case. If you are gay, typically you are either comfortable with it and just get on with things, or you try to hide it. It's very uncommon for a gay male to maintain that he is heterosexual while displaying behaviour like this; as I've already said usually it's just a straight guy joking. However if you do think there is something genuine there, then you will have to come out to him if you want it to progress further.

18th Jan 2012, 04:51 PM	#8
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? here is an example of a greeting/exchange between us: HIM: "There she is! Hey princess!" me: "Hey young lady!" him: "hows it goin miss!" he also said "hey goldilocks!" to this blond chick when i was walking behind him and then he said "No! I was talking to him!" (I have blondish hair). He also kind of complimented my eyes, he said "do you have green eyes? (studies them a little bit) No, they are more turquoise". The only other people that have said something like that about my eyes are an ex bf. he also will come see me and talk to me at the 1st chance, even when he was talking to me, someone walking by said to him, "you just cant stay away can you" and he looked at me and laughed. he was watching me once, and i did and said something so funny (that wasnt intentional) and i looked over at him and he turned beet red. Last edited by goodbadenergy; 18th Jan 2012 at 04:55 PM..

18th Jan 2012, 05:50 PM	#9
FleetFish I was following the I Full Member Gender: Whatever Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Ponyville Posts: 150 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? To me, it sounds like he is coming onto you, hard. But I don't have a degree in romanceology, either. Maybe next time he says something suggestive, say something, like, "How serious are you?" and see if he owns up to it or not. Keep us updated. I want to know how this turns out. __________________ Saw a white dog chase its tail And a pair of hearts carved into a stone I saw kindness and an angel Crying, "Take me back home, take me back home"

18th Jan 2012, 05:57 PM	#10
Z3ni Ec's ADD Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gayish Out Status: My Twin Location: England, Manchester Posts: 3,083 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? From a strangers point of view, he likes you!! or hes really sly __________________ Through pain, lies success.

18th Jan 2012, 06:27 PM	#13
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? he acts interested in females around other guys but hes not interested, and its almost like he doesnt like to be touched by them. When he was hanging out with this hott girl, he told me he hasnt even touched her. not even a hug. When he is talking about girls to a group of guys, and i join the conversation, he keeps looking at me to see my reaction. I can almost tell hes faking his attraction to girls but im not sure.

18th Jan 2012, 06:29 PM	#14
FleetFish I was following the I Full Member Gender: Whatever Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Ponyville Posts: 150 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? Go for the kill, Man. Go for it. __________________ Saw a white dog chase its tail And a pair of hearts carved into a stone I saw kindness and an angel Crying, "Take me back home, take me back home"

18th Jan 2012, 06:48 PM	#16
FleetFish I was following the I Full Member Gender: Whatever Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Ponyville Posts: 150 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? Honestly, I personally prefer a fairly straightforward approach. Like I said, next time he is "jokingly" flirting with you, just ask him how serious he is. Hopefully he takes the opportunity to step to to the plate. If he laughs it off, well, we're back where we started. That's my plan, anyway. Other people may have other (better) suggestions. __________________ Saw a white dog chase its tail And a pair of hearts carved into a stone I saw kindness and an angel Crying, "Take me back home, take me back home"

18th Jan 2012, 07:30 PM	#17
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? one time i said i "feel all warm and fuzzy inside" and he said "i dont want to know what another man feels like". And the day i saw him looking at my butt, i could have looked at his when he bent down, but he jumped up really quick and pulled his shirt over it and looked to see if i was looking. he must be insecure of his sexuality, because straight guys dont give a crap

19th Jan 2012, 05:45 AM	#18
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? and once i texted him something funny and he texted me "are you sober right now?" and the smiley he used was the one with rosy cheeks.

19th Jan 2012, 06:43 AM	#19
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? another thing he does to me a lot is "negging" where its an insult wrapped in a complement. He seems to pick fun at my small stature (hes small in stature too wtf). I responded by saying "i'm a tank dude!" and he said "yeah, a hot wheels tank!"

19th Jan 2012, 10:36 PM	#20
goodbadenergy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Posts: 16 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Does he like me or is he clowning? saw him today... ugh the excessive smiling and dreamy eyes he shows are driving me mad. He said "sweet! so i do get to see you later!"