Therapist, author of a book on happiness for gay men over 40, commits suicide

[Chip]

This is a really sad story.

According to the story, this person, who was involved in the early days of the AIDS crisis and wrote a book that was to be published in February, killed himself within the past two weeks.

The book, "The Right Side of Forty: The Complete Guide to Happiness for Gay Men at Midlife and Beyond", sounds like a really good book... but now the publisher is delaying it and trying to figure out how they're going to market it.

I hope that his legacy does get published and helps a lot of other people, even if he was ultimately unable to find help himself.

[sanguine]

wow, a really sad story indeed

In all my years of clinical work, I have never encountered a fifty-year-old gay-male client complain that he feels invisible in non-gay environments in his life, such as in his work or with his parents or family. But I consistently hear fifty-year-old men say that they feel invisible in the all gay-male environments where much of their lives unfold. No matter how successful and rewarding their lives, even gay men who have created meaningful friendships and romantic relationships with other men still become confused because other gay men treat them differently as they enter their forties and beyond. In my clinical practice, I have seen that until men resolve their confusion and unhappiness about how other gay men relate to them now that they are older, the sense of loss and isolation they feel leaves them ill-equipped to deal with these other issues of aging common for all older men and women.

maybe this was a self forfilling prophecy, and probably a lesson to be learnt through out the LGBT community also

[beagle99]

Perhaps it is better if this book was never published. If you read the entire New York Times article reporting his death, reportedly on his unpublished manuscript the author taped essentially a partially sucidie note saying, "All lies...based on bad information."

[Chip]

Well... I did read that part. And of course, no one will ever know. But people who are depressed enough to kill themselves get a very distorted view of the world. I doubt that in a rational state of mind, he would honestly believe that the book he'd spent a year and a half writing was composed of lies, or was bad information. It sounds more like a period of despondency. Let's not forget that suicide rates are highest during the holidays and this happened right around that time I believe.

[Mad Man L]

That article gives some very interesting food for thought. That maybe for current older gay men that there are very few gay people still around to socialise with, and that many gays do end up finding themselves in a state of mental and emotional disrepair.