Hanging out with couples? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

ok455 · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:14 PM

When you was single or people are currently single. Do you mind hanging out with couples? (Just you and the couple)

Im curious i usually don't like hanging out with couples sometimes they can be disrespectful and show too much PDA and too much flirting. I just hate feeling like a 3rd wheel.

I know i got upset with a friend when she asked me to stop by her job and her boyfriend was there and all they did was flirt and touched each other and i walked out. And we got into a little argument and i told her she was disrespectful for acting like that and i have a computer if i wanted to watch soft core porn.

And recently she wanted to have a small get together and invite her boyfriend and a few friends and wanted me to come and i told her no and she was a little upset

Allegro molto · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:18 PM

I typically don't mind...at least with my friends. The married couple I'm friends with are totally cool, and some of my other friends that are dating don't go overboard with the PDA. It just makes me feel a little envious (or a lot, depending on my mood) that I don't have a significant other, but other than that, it doesn't really bother me. But then again, like I said before, my friends typically don't go past cuddling as far as PDA is concerned.

Mlpguy88 · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:21 PM

Yeah, I hate being a third wheel also, all the flirting annoys me. But if it is a larger group it's better.

**Maddy** · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:21 PM

I have two friends who are a couple and used to be utterly impossible to hang out with. I've walked out on them several times when they wouldn't get out of each other's pants when other people were in the room. They're a bit better now, but I still don't particularly want to be alone with them.

**Owen** · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:43 PM

It really depends on the couple for me.

I know one couple comprised of two low-key, really down-to-earth, really chill women, and I love hanging out with them. When they're together, they're still their awesome selves, just with the occasional hand-holding and arm-around-the-shoulder-ing. They don't pay an inordinate amount of attention to each other and totally ignore their company, and they're still fun to be with.

I've been lucky enough to not have spent much time with couples who engage in gratuitous PDA, so I can't speak much about that. I have, however, spent time with a couple who didn't leave their interpersonal problems behind when they went to go hang out with other people, and I'd get really uncomfortable when they'd argue. One of them moved out of town, so I don't see much of them anymore, but I came close to making that (not seeing much of them anymore) happen intentionally.

Raug · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:47 PM

I hate it. They pay no attention to me. They don't even talk or have a conversation. They simply sit there coerced in eachother. That's when I leave.

Kidd · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:56 PM

I hang out with my sister and her fiance all the time and they definitely aren't shy about anything in front of me. Cuddling, flirting and stuff like that I can deal with, but I hate it when they argue in front of me. I'll hear all about it anyway, but seeing it first-hand is truly mortifying. I usually leave the room or play on my phone until it's over if I can't get away from it.

Most of my friends are pretty good about being respectful though, mainly because I'm more interesting than their white-bread boyfriends, honestly. I've only ever felt really disrespected once, and that was when the three of us were under the same blanket and they were getting a little too frisky but I was too incapacitated at the time to really do anything about it. It was pretty gross though and we had a really heated discussion about what happened the next day.

If you feel uncomfortable don't be afraid to say so. I think you did the right thing by confronting her about it, but if other friends are going to be at this little party she's having then that's a totally different situation. You should go if you can.

Noir · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:58 PM

No, I try not to. If I knew any couples that didn't hang all over each other I might think otherwise, but I don't like being reminded that I'm a third wheel, either. If all they were going to do was that, why invite someone else in the first place?

Chouchou · 23rd Jan 2012, 05:58 PM

I'm friends with several married or about-to-be-married couples who are about my age, and I don't mind the PDA when it does happen. Some display their affections more openly or frequently than others. If it does get to be too much, I just won't look at them. In the case of one couple with whom I'm friends, their single friends have largely gotten accustomed to their frequent PDA. As for the other couples, they are always pretty good about being respectful.

Of course I feel some degree of envy, but I can't begrudge them their happiness. Everyone deserves it. Then again, though, perhaps those who have gone through breakups before tend to feel the envy or resentment more strongly.

kirbycat · 23rd Jan 2012, 06:14 PM

I find I have an easier time hanging out with a couple if I've been friends with both people since before they started dating. I guess it's because when I have a strong relationship with each person independently, it's easier to connect to each on an individual level, not just as a part of their dating entity. And I know that if they invite me to join them, it's because they BOTH want me there, and they'll each care enough about me to not slight my presence with unnecessary PDA.

Danny19 · 23rd Jan 2012, 06:15 PM

I hate it. I hate being the third wheel. I hate how all of a sudden i catch myself talking to myself and hearing them slobber each other. I tell people how i feel and they feel like I'm a "hater" but I'm not. Im happy that they have each other. But i hate it when they are too disrespectful to not even acknowledge one. Its annoying to be there and then they start making out. Its awkward and weird. and flirting is annoying too. Especially when they just talk in a whispering way. Its ok for them to do it on their own or if there is like a lot of us. but just me and them. ugh get a room. lol

midwestgirl89 · 23rd Jan 2012, 06:36 PM

It depends on the couple. With one of my best friends and her fiance, it's fine with me. I like hanging out with both of them. They give attention to each other and their friends equally when with friends. I like the fiance. We have all been friends for years.

However there is another couple that I hate to be around. They are way too stuck on each other and aren't really individuals. They're more like 2 people meshed together and it's annoying. Grosssss.

I don't like excessive PDA.

alex2020 · 23rd Jan 2012, 08:53 PM

I'm not a big fan. I don't like the third wheel feeling.

Pseudojim · 23rd Jan 2012, 10:01 PM

I'm one of a few "on the side" additions to a couple (straight M, bi F, i'm strictly for fun and friendship), so i'm somewhat used to it =)

I might be lucky though, if those two fight i never get to see it. Wonderful people.

thecat06 · 23rd Jan 2012, 10:08 PM

I hate being the third wheel... it's just awkward..

stuwee · 24th Jan 2012, 01:42 AM

Right now in my life, most of my good friends are straight couples/married mostly, we all get along great and have shared interests, so I'm just like a buddy, and have not one issue with hanging out with people I like in a relationship or not, together or not.

In fact my Super Bowl party will probably be 5 married couples and just me alone.

Yuya · 24th Jan 2012, 04:41 PM

I use to hate being around my couple friends when I was single, I would get really jealousy to see them so lovely dovey together but ever since I got my boyfriend, now I don't feel jealous even when I'm alone with a PDA couple. I just do my own things or Facebook on my
Phone. I think we all get abit jealous sometimes. Anyway I'm not a big fan of PDA myself except when I'm really drunk and with really good friends

waitingfordawn · 24th Jan 2012, 05:59 PM

Hate it. Even when they're not all PDA I still feel like the third wheel and I'd rather just not be around. If you want to hang with me, don't bring your boy/girlfriend along, it's just annoying.

malachite · 24th Jan 2012, 06:20 PM

I didn't mind that, my only problem was that they always fought

23rd Jan 2012, 05:14 PM	#1
ok455 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Can't tell L!O!L Age: 24 Posts: 437 Join Date: May 2005	Hanging out with couples? When you was single or people are currently single. Do you mind hanging out with couples? (Just you and the couple) Im curious i usually don't like hanging out with couples sometimes they can be disrespectful and show too much PDA and too much flirting. I just hate feeling like a 3rd wheel. I know i got upset with a friend when she asked me to stop by her job and her boyfriend was there and all they did was flirt and touched each other and i walked out. And we got into a little argument and i told her she was disrespectful for acting like that and i have a computer if i wanted to watch soft core porn. And recently she wanted to have a small get together and invite her boyfriend and a few friends and wanted me to come and i told her no and she was a little upset __________________ http://209.50.252.116/smile.gif

23rd Jan 2012, 05:18 PM	#2
Allegro molto Kyoufu wo oshiete yarou. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 6 (100% Gay) Out Status: Officially told 1 person! Posts: 2,333 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? I typically don't mind...at least with my friends. The married couple I'm friends with are totally cool, and some of my other friends that are dating don't go overboard with the PDA. It just makes me feel a little envious (or a lot, depending on my mood) that I don't have a significant other, but other than that, it doesn't really bother me. But then again, like I said before, my friends typically don't go past cuddling as far as PDA is concerned. __________________ In the end, I always end up alone.

23rd Jan 2012, 05:21 PM	#3
Mlpguy88 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Michigan Age: 21 Posts: 528 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? Yeah, I hate being a third wheel also, all the flirting annoys me. But if it is a larger group it's better.

23rd Jan 2012, 05:21 PM	#4
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Hanging out with couples? I have two friends who are a couple and used to be utterly impossible to hang out with. I've walked out on them several times when they wouldn't get out of each other's pants when other people were in the room. They're a bit better now, but I still don't particularly want to be alone with them. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

23rd Jan 2012, 05:43 PM	#5
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,872 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: Hanging out with couples? It really depends on the couple for me. I know one couple comprised of two low-key, really down-to-earth, really chill women, and I love hanging out with them. When they're together, they're still their awesome selves, just with the occasional hand-holding and arm-around-the-shoulder-ing. They don't pay an inordinate amount of attention to each other and totally ignore their company, and they're still fun to be with. I've been lucky enough to not have spent much time with couples who engage in gratuitous PDA, so I can't speak much about that. I have, however, spent time with a couple who didn't leave their interpersonal problems behind when they went to go hang out with other people, and I'd get really uncomfortable when they'd argue. One of them moved out of town, so I don't see much of them anymore, but I came close to making that (not seeing much of them anymore) happen intentionally. __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

23rd Jan 2012, 05:47 PM	#6
Raug Silent in secret Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Retreating to my walk in... Location: Mid-Michigan USA Age: 15 Posts: 225 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? I hate it. They pay no attention to me. They don't even talk or have a conversation. They simply sit there coerced in eachother. That's when I leave. __________________ I am the patriarch

23rd Jan 2012, 05:56 PM	#7
Kidd You'll love me! Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂ ♥ ♂ Out Status: Out Location: N.W. Ohio Age: 21 Posts: 1,430 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Hanging out with couples? I hang out with my sister and her fiance all the time and they definitely aren't shy about anything in front of me. Cuddling, flirting and stuff like that I can deal with, but I hate it when they argue in front of me. I'll hear all about it anyway, but seeing it first-hand is truly mortifying. I usually leave the room or play on my phone until it's over if I can't get away from it. Most of my friends are pretty good about being respectful though, mainly because I'm more interesting than their white-bread boyfriends, honestly. I've only ever felt really disrespected once, and that was when the three of us were under the same blanket and they were getting a little too frisky but I was too incapacitated at the time to really do anything about it. It was pretty gross though and we had a really heated discussion about what happened the next day. If you feel uncomfortable don't be afraid to say so. I think you did the right thing by confronting her about it, but if other friends are going to be at this little party she's having then that's a totally different situation. You should go if you can. __________________ I feel a hunger. Take my picture by the pool, because I'm the next big thing. Fingers crossed, my time is coming now...

23rd Jan 2012, 05:58 PM	#8
Noir EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: A select few Location: Missing Age: 18 Posts: 361 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? No, I try not to. If I knew any couples that didn't hang all over each other I might think otherwise, but I don't like being reminded that I'm a third wheel, either. If all they were going to do was that, why invite someone else in the first place? __________________ The opposite of love isn't hate--it's indifference.

23rd Jan 2012, 05:58 PM	#9
Chouchou Warrior Goddess Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Homosexual (asexual?) and mostly homoromantic Out Status: To some friends, but not to family Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 26 Posts: 1,109 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? I'm friends with several married or about-to-be-married couples who are about my age, and I don't mind the PDA when it does happen. Some display their affections more openly or frequently than others. If it does get to be too much, I just won't look at them. In the case of one couple with whom I'm friends, their single friends have largely gotten accustomed to their frequent PDA. As for the other couples, they are always pretty good about being respectful. Of course I feel some degree of envy, but I can't begrudge them their happiness. Everyone deserves it. Then again, though, perhaps those who have gone through breakups before tend to feel the envy or resentment more strongly. __________________ "The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Last edited by Chouchou; 23rd Jan 2012 at 06:07 PM..

23rd Jan 2012, 06:14 PM	#10
kirbycat lovin' life...lovin' you Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: "Straight" is such a dull term... Location: Michigan, USA Posts: 54 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Hanging out with couples? I find I have an easier time hanging out with a couple if I've been friends with both people since before they started dating. I guess it's because when I have a strong relationship with each person independently, it's easier to connect to each on an individual level, not just as a part of their dating entity. And I know that if they invite me to join them, it's because they BOTH want me there, and they'll each care enough about me to not slight my presence with unnecessary PDA. __________________ The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears. – Native American proverb

23rd Jan 2012, 06:15 PM	#11
Danny19 Lets see what happens Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: i love boys!!! Out Status: Some people Location: Los Angeles Age: 19 Posts: 722 Join Date: Jul 2010	Re: Hanging out with couples? I hate it. I hate being the third wheel. I hate how all of a sudden i catch myself talking to myself and hearing them slobber each other. I tell people how i feel and they feel like I'm a "hater" but I'm not. Im happy that they have each other. But i hate it when they are too disrespectful to not even acknowledge one. Its annoying to be there and then they start making out. Its awkward and weird. and flirting is annoying too. Especially when they just talk in a whispering way. Its ok for them to do it on their own or if there is like a lot of us. but just me and them. ugh get a room. lol __________________ “Whats meant to be, will always find its way"

23rd Jan 2012, 06:36 PM	#12
midwestgirl89 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Interested in Women Out Status: Some people Age: 23 Posts: 559 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? It depends on the couple. With one of my best friends and her fiance, it's fine with me. I like hanging out with both of them. They give attention to each other and their friends equally when with friends. I like the fiance. We have all been friends for years. However there is another couple that I hate to be around. They are way too stuck on each other and aren't really individuals. They're more like 2 people meshed together and it's annoying. Grosssss. I don't like excessive PDA.

23rd Jan 2012, 08:53 PM	#13
alex2020 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everybody important, and anybody who asks. Location: Florida Age: 19 Posts: 1,437 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? I'm not a big fan. I don't like the third wheel feeling. __________________ “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.”

23rd Jan 2012, 10:01 PM	#14
Pseudojim Part robot Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bi - Kinsey 2ish Out Status: All but family Location: Australia Age: 27 Posts: 2,154 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: Hanging out with couples? I'm one of a few "on the side" additions to a couple (straight M, bi F, i'm strictly for fun and friendship), so i'm somewhat used to it =) I might be lucky though, if those two fight i never get to see it. Wonderful people.

23rd Jan 2012, 10:08 PM	#15
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,503 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? I hate being the third wheel... it's just awkward.. __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

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24th Jan 2012, 01:42 AM	#16
stuwee Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Deep in the Sonoran desert, Arizona Age: 49 Posts: 89 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Hanging out with couples? Right now in my life, most of my good friends are straight couples/married mostly, we all get along great and have shared interests, so I'm just like a buddy, and have not one issue with hanging out with people I like in a relationship or not, together or not. In fact my Super Bowl party will probably be 5 married couples and just me alone. __________________ I thought I had something to say but, then I forgot what the hell it was...

24th Jan 2012, 04:41 PM	#17
Yuya Scout Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Friends Location: Melbourne Age: 27 Posts: 588 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Hanging out with couples? I use to hate being around my couple friends when I was single, I would get really jealousy to see them so lovely dovey together but ever since I got my boyfriend, now I don't feel jealous even when I'm alone with a PDA couple. I just do my own things or Facebook on my Phone. I think we all get abit jealous sometimes. Anyway I'm not a big fan of PDA myself except when I'm really drunk and with really good friends

24th Jan 2012, 05:59 PM	#18
waitingfordawn Well Known Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Queer Out Status: to friends and anyone that asks. Except family. Location: Montreal Age: 19 Posts: 140 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Hanging out with couples? Hate it. Even when they're not all PDA I still feel like the third wheel and I'd rather just not be around. If you want to hang with me, don't bring your boy/girlfriend along, it's just annoying.

24th Jan 2012, 06:20 PM	#19
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Hanging out with couples? I didn't mind that, my only problem was that they always fought __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.