horrible cook - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

greatfulyslow · 26th Jan 2012, 05:10 PM

I am a horrible cook I burnt noodles on my list of things I want in a partner must know how to cook! I would do all the dirty chores like laundry and bathroom cleaning if I didn't have to cook! Does anyone else on this planet hate and suck at cooking like me!

Chouchou · 26th Jan 2012, 05:50 PM

Yup, I suck at cooking. There has never been a pancake that I haven't burned or turned into something resembling an amoeba. Every time I have to use oil, it always gets splattered onto my clothing because I always turn the heat up too high or pour water onto it at the wrong time.

Allegro molto · 26th Jan 2012, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chouchou

Yup, I suck at cooking. There has never been a pancake that I haven't burned or turned into something resembling an amoeba. Every time I have to use oil, it always gets splattered onto my clothing because I always turn the heat up too high or pour water onto it at the wrong time.

Funny you should mention pancakes....I think I'm a pretty good cook, but my pancakes never turn out right. Even the instant, "just add water" kind. I tried to make some homemade pancakes a few days ago, but they came out looking zombified...one of them was even dookey green. I don't know how... Also, my fire alarm went off because they started to burn.

duriru · 26th Jan 2012, 06:07 PM

I hate cooking. It takes me like a thousand times more time to cook than to actually eat the food. I also suck at it. I do like to experiment with cooking though, but the new things I create usually taste awful lol. But I'm taking a cooking course in college this trimester, so maybe I'll learn something there. We're making Caesar salads tomorrow.

Black Cat · 26th Jan 2012, 07:40 PM

I'm a fantastic cook.

See, I've got proof!

Wow, that sounded incredibly less conceited in my head than it does in writing... But yes, I cook all the time. But that's about all I can bring to a relationship. xD I'm not a good conversationalist, I don't have money, and I'm not much to look at, but I can make you breakfast in the morning. I think I'll try that as a pick-up line sometime...

Nazo · 26th Jan 2012, 07:46 PM

Haha, everything I cook looks weird but tastes amazing.
I make the best lopsided omelets.

Emberstone · 26th Jan 2012, 08:05 PM

omgawd you guys... its called 'pizza hut' and 'taco bell'!

**Owen** · 26th Jan 2012, 08:06 PM

Cooking is something of an art, like writing a good sentence. I once read a book by an adjunct professor of writing at some college that said in one part, in so many words, you can only really teach people how to write if they're also readers, because they need to read a lot of sentences to understand how to make their own. Cooking is like that.

I'm a pretty good cook, and I credit my mother (who loved cooking and made me help her out in the kitchen) for that. I credit her because there's no reason I should be good at cooking. I'm physically awkward, bad at noticing subtleties, extremely pedantic (especially at things I'm not very practiced at), and often too afraid of messing things up to have the gusto needed for cooking. But when I actually get down to it and do it, I can make some damn good food. The only reason that could possibly be the case is because I watched my mother do it and did it with her, thus gaining an intuitive understanding of the process.

It also helps that my mother could cook well, so I know what good food is supposed to taste like. Just as you can't judge the quality of your sentence if you don't know what a good sentence sounds like, you can't judge the quality of your cooking if you don't know what good cooking tastes like.

Allegro molto · 26th Jan 2012, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nazo

Haha, everything I cook looks weird but tastes amazing.

This, too, to a degree. (Just look at my peanut butter cookies. xD )

Zontar · 26th Jan 2012, 08:08 PM

Don't feel bad. I'm not a good cook either. That's why I usually hire my good friends, Chef Boyardee and Frank O. American.

AloneOutHere · 26th Jan 2012, 08:14 PM

MAC n' CHEESE!!!!!!!

YYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Random Dent · 26th Jan 2012, 08:26 PM

I don't hate cooking...but I don't like it either. I can cook some dishes without ruining them.

**Lexington** · 26th Jan 2012, 08:27 PM

I have a VERY limited repertoire in the kitchen. (Unless you'd like something that ends in "Helper".) Luckily, the few things I can make are usually considered very good.

* burgers and steak fries
* fried rice
* chili
* chicken and soup-y rice

That's literally it. Pick one of the four.

Lex

**Maddy** · 26th Jan 2012, 08:48 PM

I'm a good baker, but not all that good with main meals. I can do great things with chicken and/or pasta, but I get lazy.

Bosco · 26th Jan 2012, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Cat

I'm a fantastic cook.

See, I've got proof!

mmm your cupcakes look delicious!

I know how to prepare a very narrow palette of foods. Most of which aren't really all that filling or practical for day-to-day consumption. I thoroughly enjoy plating and presenting foods in interesting ways so I guess you can say that I cook to impress (though I wouldn't say that I'm good at that... haha)

WillowMaiden · 26th Jan 2012, 09:47 PM

I can cook a little. But I can easily make the same mistake you did. I'm okay in the kitchen. I would love to met someone who is excellent in the kitchen so I don't have to worry about it so much.

needshelp · 26th Jan 2012, 10:07 PM

don't worry, at least you're trying. i burnt gravy one time and that scared me away from the kitchen.

Mlpguy88 · 26th Jan 2012, 10:09 PM

i'm not great at it, but i like to do it

this just made me remember something my cousin once said, he told me that to him cooking is alot like sex, he loves it but he is bad at it.

Chouchou · 26th Jan 2012, 10:55 PM

Reading some of these reminded me of how my mom sometimes jokes that she married my dad because he's a good cook. He's tried many times in earnest to teach me to cook my favorite meals, but I'm both too lazy and too ADD to be any good at cooking. I usually just shove a couple ingredients in my rice cooker and let it do the work.

Rooni321 · 26th Jan 2012, 11:03 PM

I am one HELL of a baker.

But I am just a good cook, especially with vegitarian foods. I don't have much range though.
-Tacos
-Burritos
-Omlettes
-Pancakes
-Pastas
-Chicken bewb (real or fake)
-Vegetables; corn,broccoli,bell pepper, zuccini, yellow squash, cauliflower, carrots..
-Anything involving eggs
-Rice(sometimes)
-Potato salad
-French fries
-Garden Burgers
-Quinoa/cous cous

But I really want to know how to cook Mac n Cheese. The good old fashioned kind, not that kraft shit.

26th Jan 2012, 05:10 PM	#1
greatfulyslow Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Location: USA Age: 27 Posts: 52 Join Date: Aug 2011	horrible cook I am a horrible cook I burnt noodles on my list of things I want in a partner must know how to cook! I would do all the dirty chores like laundry and bathroom cleaning if I didn't have to cook! Does anyone else on this planet hate and suck at cooking like me!

26th Jan 2012, 05:50 PM	#2
Chouchou Warrior Goddess Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Homosexual (asexual?) and mostly homoromantic Out Status: To some friends, but not to family Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 26 Posts: 1,109 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: horrible cook Yup, I suck at cooking. There has never been a pancake that I haven't burned or turned into something resembling an amoeba. Every time I have to use oil, it always gets splattered onto my clothing because I always turn the heat up too high or pour water onto it at the wrong time. __________________ "The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

26th Jan 2012, 06:07 PM	#4
duriru Captain-Commander of the Gotei 13 Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Honduras Age: 18 Posts: 985 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: horrible cook I hate cooking. It takes me like a thousand times more time to cook than to actually eat the food. I also suck at it. I do like to experiment with cooking though, but the new things I create usually taste awful lol. But I'm taking a cooking course in college this trimester, so maybe I'll learn something there. We're making Caesar salads tomorrow.

26th Jan 2012, 07:40 PM	#5
Black Cat As Seen On Hoarders... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania, with the cows Age: 21 Posts: 2,391 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: horrible cook I'm a fantastic cook. See, I've got proof! Wow, that sounded incredibly less conceited in my head than it does in writing... But yes, I cook all the time. But that's about all I can bring to a relationship. xD I'm not a good conversationalist, I don't have money, and I'm not much to look at, but I can make you breakfast in the morning. I think I'll try that as a pick-up line sometime... __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

26th Jan 2012, 07:46 PM	#6
Nazo Janis Ian's Lesbian Crush Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Facebook, not hiding at college Location: Michigan Age: 19 Posts: 2,071 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: horrible cook Haha, everything I cook looks weird but tastes amazing. I make the best lopsided omelets. __________________ are you feeling like a prisoner are you living life the way you want giving time to ones you love are you giving time to who you are

26th Jan 2012, 08:05 PM	#7
Emberstone Flappychap Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon, USA Age: 28 Posts: 5,595 Join Date: May 2008	Re: horrible cook omgawd you guys... its called 'pizza hut' and 'taco bell'! __________________ TYPE YOUR NAME: Cory. TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ELBOW: vcoiptryu SLAM YOUR FACE ON THE KEYBOARD: About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how potent that part might be - that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

26th Jan 2012, 08:06 PM	#8
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,872 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: horrible cook Cooking is something of an art, like writing a good sentence. I once read a book by an adjunct professor of writing at some college that said in one part, in so many words, you can only really teach people how to write if they're also readers, because they need to read a lot of sentences to understand how to make their own. Cooking is like that. I'm a pretty good cook, and I credit my mother (who loved cooking and made me help her out in the kitchen) for that. I credit her because there's no reason I should be good at cooking. I'm physically awkward, bad at noticing subtleties, extremely pedantic (especially at things I'm not very practiced at), and often too afraid of messing things up to have the gusto needed for cooking. But when I actually get down to it and do it, I can make some damn good food. The only reason that could possibly be the case is because I watched my mother do it and did it with her, thus gaining an intuitive understanding of the process. It also helps that my mother could cook well, so I know what good food is supposed to taste like. Just as you can't judge the quality of your sentence if you don't know what a good sentence sounds like, you can't judge the quality of your cooking if you don't know what good cooking tastes like. __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

26th Jan 2012, 08:08 PM	#10
Zontar Mister Funny Man Full Member Gender: Male Location: Binghampton, NY Posts: 1,536 Join Date: Oct 2010	Re: horrible cook Don't feel bad. I'm not a good cook either. That's why I usually hire my good friends, Chef Boyardee and Frank O. American. __________________ Get up and open your eyes...Don't ever let yourself ever fall down... Get through it and learn how to fly...I know you'll find a way...today. -Days of the New, "Dirty Road" Last edited by Zontar; 26th Jan 2012 at 08:18 PM..

26th Jan 2012, 08:14 PM	#11
AloneOutHere LAX LSM Regular Member Gender: Imma bro not a hoe Orientation: Dicks not Chicks Out Status: I came out 5-3-12 Location: Estados Unidos Age: 15 Posts: 172 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: horrible cook MAC n' CHEESE!!!!!!! YYYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! __________________ Let's get one thing straight, I'm not.

26th Jan 2012, 08:26 PM	#12
Random Dent Liebe ist für alle da! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: La la la ladies Out Status: I don't care who knows Location: California Age: 27 Posts: 1,692 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: horrible cook I don't hate cooking...but I don't like it either. I can cook some dishes without ruining them. __________________ No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody Rita Mae Brown

26th Jan 2012, 08:27 PM	#13
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,372 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: horrible cook I have a VERY limited repertoire in the kitchen. (Unless you'd like something that ends in "Helper".) Luckily, the few things I can make are usually considered very good. * burgers and steak fries * fried rice * chili * chicken and soup-y rice That's literally it. Pick one of the four. Lex

26th Jan 2012, 08:48 PM	#14
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: horrible cook I'm a good baker, but not all that good with main meals. I can do great things with chicken and/or pasta, but I get lazy. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

26th Jan 2012, 09:47 PM	#16
WillowMaiden Willow Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Some family, some friends, but not all Location: Detroit, MI Age: 19 Posts: 130 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: horrible cook I can cook a little. But I can easily make the same mistake you did. I'm okay in the kitchen. I would love to met someone who is excellent in the kitchen so I don't have to worry about it so much. __________________ "I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards, and broken things." ~Tyrion Lannister "I have never been nothing. I am the blood of the dragon." ~ Daenerys Targaryen

26th Jan 2012, 10:07 PM	#17
needshelp really likes you Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: out to some, not family and friends though Location: in a closet near you Age: 25 Posts: 691 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: horrible cook don't worry, at least you're trying. i burnt gravy one time and that scared me away from the kitchen.

26th Jan 2012, 10:09 PM	#18
Mlpguy88 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Michigan Age: 21 Posts: 528 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: horrible cook i'm not great at it, but i like to do it this just made me remember something my cousin once said, he told me that to him cooking is alot like sex, he loves it but he is bad at it.

26th Jan 2012, 10:55 PM	#19
Chouchou Warrior Goddess Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Homosexual (asexual?) and mostly homoromantic Out Status: To some friends, but not to family Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 26 Posts: 1,109 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: horrible cook Reading some of these reminded me of how my mom sometimes jokes that she married my dad because he's a good cook. He's tried many times in earnest to teach me to cook my favorite meals, but I'm both too lazy and too ADD to be any good at cooking. I usually just shove a couple ingredients in my rice cooker and let it do the work. __________________ "The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

26th Jan 2012, 11:03 PM	#20
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: horrible cook I am one HELL of a baker. But I am just a good cook, especially with vegitarian foods. I don't have much range though. -Tacos -Burritos -Omlettes -Pancakes -Pastas -Chicken bewb (real or fake) -Vegetables; corn,broccoli,bell pepper, zuccini, yellow squash, cauliflower, carrots.. -Anything involving eggs -Rice(sometimes) -Potato salad -French fries -Garden Burgers -Quinoa/cous cous But I really want to know how to cook Mac n Cheese. The good old fashioned kind, not that kraft shit. __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway