Doing this from a cell, so I apologize in advance. First, I'm married, 3 young kids, and my wife has been through hell as a child just as i was. When i was a kid, I was raised in a very narrow minded home. So when i came "of age", they found some evidence of expirimentation. At which time, they labeled me gay. But it wasn't true. I liked women too. So I kept my moyth shut. This was how my life was until recently. Hide everything, even from my wife. 3 years ago my wife and I began counseling. Until 4 months ago, I never told anything about my fwelings. Turned out, when a discuasion came up, and I decided to level with her, she is bisexual, jist as me. She still manages a relationahip with her parents, while I broke off all contact with my biological......well, family, more blood line only. What I still can not understand, is you feel so much better just being yourself. While I do not tell anyone, as I am a truck driver, why does everyone hate that which is different? Because od rhat, I really juat despise anyone who doesn't accept anythong that is personality related. Like sexuality, accents, dialects. I would love to have friends to open up to, and just talk about what I like, but can't other than my wife. So I dunno, I just needed to get that off my chest. Hopefully to a group who can understand. Thanks for reading. ---------- Post added 10th Feb 2012 at 07:38 AM ---------- I should add my parents acted like labeling me gay condescendingly would change who I was somehow, and put me down at every chance. They thought They could get my wife to leave me by telling her I was gay when she first met them. When our marriage had problems, my parents tried to get my wife to file PFA's on me and divorce me, while taking our child at the time with her. My loving wife didn't fall for any of this, but why are people seemingly all close minded?
I only know of two reasons: 1. It is engrained in the human brain to fear all things different. It doesn't make sense, because as human beings we literally personify diversity, but they hate us. I think it's some sort of defensive reaction to that which they don't understand. 2. They hate us because we're (more often than not) better at arranging flowers than they are. I for one find it great that your wife accepts you as you are, for that (to me anyway) is one of the greatest signs of true love. And while I can't answer for your family, I can commend you for staying true to yourself through all that they have thrown at you.
Black cat, I love your second reason :roflmao:. That being said, I think people just fear things that are different and that they're not used to so they respond in a hostile and hateful way. For some reason we tend to target those we find to be different from us like they are somehow beneath us in some way. A great example of that would be high school.
I don't really have much to add except that my family assumed I was a lesbian when I came out to them too, but I never said that so now they'll be mad if I ever get with a guy. Not very likely but it leaves me in a weird place
Yeah, my life feels pathetic at times. I look at my childhood, my wife's childhood, and then understand why there are people who are so ignorant. My wife and I are very close, and feel that whatever orientation they are, they are. So I ponder why it's so hard for others to say that. Like it's any of their business. Just absolutely no understanding or acceptance. Like they are too narrow minded to try, so it's easier to put a label on everything that's not what they believe and put it down. Rather than actually think.
