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Advice on helping a friend to come out

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by poojinator, Feb 11, 2012.

  1. poojinator

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2012
    Messages:
    1
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    Location:
    Berlin
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I myself am gay, and over a process of the last 2 years slowly came out, which was probably the most difficult thing I've ever done. I am so happy now to say that I have fully embraced my sexuality and am proud of it now.
    My best friend recently admitted to me (through tears) that he thinks he might be gay also. Looking back, my friends were so accepting of me and never said a single bad thing to me about it, but I never had any gay role models nor any close gay friend to help me in an active way. I want to help my friend so desperately because I know that he is having a harder time with it than I ever did, and the idea of him going through that kind of pain really breaks my heart. I've tried to talk to him about it since he admitted it, but he acts as if it never happened. I don't want to force the process... but I'm feeling my way here and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    big love from Ireland
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi, and welcome to EC.

    Sometimes that first glance out the closet door is just so scary that the easiest response is to run back in and slam the door hard. Perhaps that's what's going on with your friend. So maybe the best you can do is simply be affirming... let him know that you'll love and care about him regardless of whether he's straight, bi, gay, or into farm implements. :slight_smile: And that you're ready to talk if and when he is, but you respect his process.

    And... you can always point him here. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Give him a hug and tell him that you have his back whenever he's ready. Try to talk about your own feelings with him, and maybe he'll start opening up about his sexuality more and more.