idk. ive heard this a few times. correct me if im wrong.... but, it means you dont have any sexual attraction to someone until you feel an emotional/strong connection to them. if so. i fall into this, although i dont actually label myself as it. its a hard thing to grasp (for me anyway).... i see a girl who i think is cute, but yet i wouldnt want to sleep with her. for me i feel it makes a relationship an awful lot harder.... not knowing what its like to think certain thoughts until i feel strongly about someone and them having to wait e.t.c. is anyone else like this/can anyone relate?
Ive never really been one of those people who just sees someone & wants to automatically jump into bed with her. Sexual attractions are always better when there is a strong emotional attraction for me, so I can relate to what youre saying! Thats not to say Ive NEVER seen a girl & just automatically had lustful thoughts, I just dont ever see or feel myself acting on thoughts like that. Anonymous sex is fun for some people, but for me, I like to have a bit more of a bond with her first before I start wanting to or considering sleeping with someone...
Yeah I wouldnt say I automatically feel like I want to jump into bed with someone, I think more people than you realise would class themselves like this, they just probably wouldnt necessarily use the label.
I'd imagine this wouldn't be all that uncommon. Sex without attachment is like masturbation...feels good but relatively unsatisfying!
I reckon this is pretty common amongst us EC-ers, you'd want to get to know a person on a personal level and after getting close to them on that level, I suppose your feelings might sway more to crushing on that person and wanting a little more to take the relationship further, even if its just a little bit. Thats how it is with me so you're not alone =D xx
I've never heard the term before, but i think it at least partially applies to me too. I definitely find people more physically attractive if i connect with them on a personal/emotional level.
I think from what I understand, a lot of people wouldn't want to have sex with someone they don't know, because sex without intimacy isn't as satisfying, but they would still find the person attractive. Like my (heterosexual) father has said he will look at a woman and notice that she's attractive, but he would only ever act on those feelings with my mother because he loves her and he's made a promise to be monogamous to her. In contrast, from what I understand, a demisexual who isn't in a relationship feels asexual. They won't look at someone and find them attractive, not until the emotional bond has formed. Apparently there are some people who even identify as asexual and then when they meet the right person they discover they're demisexual instead. (A grain of truth to the annoying comment most asexuals have heard from people!)
Speaking purely for myself: It means I like people in an aesthetic way, but to be actually sexually attracted to them, i need to have a personal connection with them, I have to know them. It also means I have a rather low sex drive. Unless I'm intrested in someone I don't feel horny or feel like masturbating for weeks sometimes. As Ettina says, it's almost like being asexual, I'm virtually never interested in sex. If I do get aroused it's due to the general idea of sex, not a specific person or body.
^That was me. I thought I was asexual all throughout middle school and most of high school.... I'm DEFINATELY a demisexual. :3
