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Humorous ways to tell people you are gay

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Christiaan, Feb 17, 2012.

  1. Christiaan

    Christiaan Guest

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    Obviously, if you are deep in the closet, you might not be ready to make light of telling people about your little peculiarity. However, once you have been out of the closet for a long time and everyone of any consequence knows, people who continue being surprised or put off by it get to be increasingly tedious. For this reason, on occasions that I have to tell someone I am gay, which is seeming less and less important for me to do, I have gotten increasingly smarky about it.

    I like to use trite, cornball similes like, "I'm queer as a three-dollar bill," and stuff like that. It's a little simple-minded and immature, I know, but that's really the best I can do.

    Anyway, to those of you who are relatively seasoned, what kind of zingers do you find popping out? I know just about anybody could do better than me, here.
     
  2. stephaniko

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    well its become a tradition since I came out to my mother than every year on coming out day I text her or call her and come out again. every year she acts surprised and comes up with a new reaction. this year though I'm going to come out to her as bigender
     
  3. Valeyard

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    It isn't really my coming out, but an obnoxious classmate saw me hug another guy, and said, as I was walking away, "he likes (describes euphemism)", and I replied "Thanks for the advice, but I already knew that"
     
  4. IanGallagher

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    I fly as much as Superman
    "I like to fuck everyone."
    "Doesn't that make you a slut?"
    "No, I'll only fuck them if I'm attracted to them."
    "Which is everyone?"
    "Yep."

    --------------------------

    "Sharon, meet my boyfriend Matthew. Matthew meet my girlfriend, Sharon."
    - Two of Us (1987)

    There's just something hilarious I find about being polysexual. Due to this reason, everyone just thinks I'm merely bi - diving into it may be complicated for them to understand.
     
  5. Christiaan

    Christiaan Guest

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  6. theboyintheback

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    "Mom... you know how Captain Kirk has an unholy love for Spock? Well... so do I."
    -from some book my friend was reading.
     
  7. Elven

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    I roll with Dorothy :wink:
     
  8. Aareon

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    On tumblr I saw a picture with an empty toilet roll and on the roll it says "mum, I'm a lesbian" or something along the lines. :grin:
     
  9. Jewel

    Jewel Guest

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    I always like the one where you hide in your closet until someone comes in, and then you come out. Only, I'm claustrophobic, so I can't do it myself.
    Or singing 'I don't do boys' by Elektra at the top of your voice.
     
  10. gleek

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    Love this!