I'm pretty ignorant about trans people and I had a question. What does the trans community think of trans people who never make the transition, or don't even want to? Do they lose credibility or look down upon them, or does it vary from person to person?
Oops, I meant to post this in Chit Chat. I'm only asking this because I was curious if someone could be considered "trans" even if they never made an effort to transition.
'Trans' could stand for both 'transgender' and 'transsexual' (or that's what I thought), so a person is trans even if they don't have a surgery because they are still one gender in an incorrect body. I hope this makes sense .
As far as I know, this attitude is restricted entirely to daft straight people who don't have any comprehension of gender issues, period. Some people who are transgendered don't transition until they have reached retirement age. It's something, in that case, that somebody who has lived a full and productive life might do as a sort of retirement present to self. Oh, but does that mean that these people became transgendered later in life? Not inconceivable but not probable. I'm not transitioning specifically because I am in a relationship with someone who doesn't want me to, and this person succeeds in making me feel feminine enough for a thousand women. He touches me the right way, and he talks to me in all the right ways. However, if I found myself alone later on in life and had the money, I would still consider transitioning to be a very nice thing to do for myself. For now, I just make do with made-up mental constructs such as thinking of myself as a "female gay guy, as in not a bear." Essentially, trans people who have been all the way through transitioning and have had the whole support group setting would usually say, to most people who are not transitioning, "you are not ready yet. I went through that, too. Maybe it will be right for you someday, maybe not. Good luck." Does that follow?
I'm transgender, and I don't know that I'll ever completely transition, for lots of reasons. the biggest one being that I'm just not all that sure I really want to. Coming out has relieved a lot of my gender dysphoria (though not all of it). I have a lot of respect for my body as it is, regardless of the fact that it is not aligned with my mind. I am distrustful of the medical community and do not want to be under constant medical/psychiatric scrutiny, because I'm a very private person. I don't think taking a bunch of hormones for life and cutting off my breasts is going to make me a dude. Wearing a strap-on likewise does not make me a dude. Being true to myself, though...I can be a man that way, regardless of my physical form. I don't really care what other people think all that much, so I don't care about being able to "pass". My biggest concerns with regards to situation right now are sorta-dumb things like, "Does this nail polish/makeup/haircut/outfit make me look gay?" And the answer to that question is usually, in my head, "Why yes, yes it does. But you are in possession of a female form, and you want women to be attracted to you, so gay is sort of the objective, yes?" So for me, as a guy, it feels weird to do girly things. But when I think about it, it is sort of awesome in a way to have the privilege to do those things by virtue of my biological sex. I want to wear combat boots and men's button-up dress shirts? No problem. Oh, I want to wear makeup and - gods forbid - a miniskirt? Also not a problem. I've come to a point where it's sort of liberating, in a way, to be stuck between genders. It means that I have a lot of room to play.
If I may add one question to the mix, I was at my school's Queer Grad meet-up yesterday and one individual there identified as transgendered. When they were giving their introductions, they said in regards to pronouns, They/Them, was the preference (over He/She I'm guessing). How do you use They/Them appropriately when you're referring to a single individual? If anyone has any insight to this, I would really like to know as I am not very familiar with interacting with transgendered people and I do not want to accidentally offend someone with an innocuous comment. Thank you.
I can't speak for the trans community. I haven't talked with another transperson about the subject. But in my opinion, transpeople who don't transition are fine. The spectrum is very broad, and it isn't so simple as ftm or mtf. People may not transition because they don't identify as completely male or female. People may also not transition because they can cope without doing so, or because they have been convinced not to or respond to social pressure of gender conformity. Whatever the decision is, to transition or not, it is something that should be done alone, and not because someone else wants us to. And if someone is pressured not to transition when they want to, then that is bad. But its not something I would down on a transperson for, only on society. And in the end, its a personal choice that is never exactly the same for each individual. A lot of people who haven't transitioned still consider themselves transgendered, and thats good enough for me.
...I have no idea. I really like being called "he/him/sir", but I don't expect it. It's usually just a pleasant surprise on days where I pass exceptionally well. I have had security guards, waiters, and clerks call me sir, without apology. In the case of the guard, I actually got the feeling he was doing it as a show of respect/recognition of my presented gender, rather than my biological sex. It gave me the warm fuzzies. In real life it seems that people who know me tend to use my given name, rather than specifying a pronoun. But my family still says "she" and "aunt" and "daughter" out of habit. I have no plans to demand them to do otherwise, as the benefits it would afford me are vastly outweighed by the dissonance it would cause for them. Luckily my given name is unisex, so I am content enough with that.
