Cross-gender behavior seems to be held in near-universal contempt. Why, though, do you think that is? Why does anyone actually give a shit if a guy wants to wear a dress or a girl wants to bind? Have sociologists ever came up with a theory for that one?
These kind of people as well as very very fem gays sort of scare me a bit. I feel bad and sometimes ask myself if its even possible for a gay like me to be homophobic to drag queens. But its not really a phobia its just that their personality is so different to mine I strugle to relate and understand. I would never offend someone for the way they dress though i believe its fine for them to express themselves however they feel they need to.
People that are ill informed or haven't been exposed to that type of lifestyle react badly to such things, because society drills into everyone the idea of what a "male" and a "female" should be. One day the world will accept like most of us here have, that's it's perfectly ok to belong to the grey area in between. ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2012 at 02:56 PM ---------- Most of my gay male friends are uncomfortable with really fem gays and drag queens, but I know a lot of my straight male friends don't have an issue with it at all. . so that's something interesting
people are assholes, believe too much in another persons opinion to form their own one in fear of not belonging. misunderstanding and misinformed also. pretty much everything VioletDoomsday said.
lol of course sociologists have come up with an explanation for this, who else would? It is, after all, a social theory. Basically, people aren't comfortable with people whose sex and gender don't align, since we're pretty much socialized from day one according to our assigned sex. So, if you have internal reproductive organs, you're supposed to be a woman; and if you don't adhere to that, you fall out of the sex/gender, since you're not adhering to the sex/gender binary. Trans people are often shamed for this, especially but especially if they're femme, since femininity is seen as weakness in our culture. It's why, for instance, it's socially acceptable for girls to wear pants but not for guys to wear pants--to present as masculine is a step up and feminine a step down, in a sense. Masculinity is privileged in our culture, even in the queer/trans community, where trans men get less shit that trans women. (Which isn't to say that trans men don't get shit from society at large, but if someone performs their gender in a masculine way, they have masculine privilege.)
Yep waitingfordawn has the jist of it. I read this book last year. I found it very insightful. I would recommend giving it a read. Amazon.com: Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity (9781580051545): Julia Serano: Books
The reason cross-gender behaviour & transgender & transsexual people make society in general uncomfortable is that society is obsessed with neatly categorizing not only what is normal, but what is either one thing or another (ie black or white, with no shades of gray). With sexuality, people can wrap their heads around gay and straight and even bisexual, but when you have a person who is transsexual come along, they completely throw everyone's sense of what is male & what is female totally into question. With sex & sexuality already being a subject of taboo & still, even in the 21st century, somewhat Victorian, if not Puritan to an extent, it really messes with people when they come across someone who straddles the gender binary. People can understand a guy who is attracted to guys, guys who are attracted to girls & girls who are attracted to girls, but seeing a guy who looks like a girl who is attracted to guys & girls, or a guy who looks like a girl who is attracted to girls or a guy who looks like a girl who is attracted to guys really throws everything into question for a lot of people. It is much easier to understand, even without accepting, gay & lesbian & bisexual people. They are the gender they are & are attracted to either the same or both gender. A trans person is not the gender they are on the outside & thus they are attracted to who they are attracted to just like the rest of us are. People find it so hard to accept because they cant wrap their heads around it. This confuses people a lot & thus makes it so much harder to accept trans people...
Two things: A) People are insecure and misinformed. While only a tiny percentage of the population is actually trans, people think that there is no difference between what they perceive as being a man wearing a dress and a gay man. They've been raised to think that gay=bad and gay people want to convert straight people. So they think that transgendered people are going to influence their masculinity (yes, this behaviour seems to occur mostly in men). B) People seem to think they have the right to change people that make them uncomfortable. Like "theres something about you I just don't like, that no one likes, so I'm going to make your life a living hell until you become more civilised" Needless to say, those are the reasons why I go stealth. I might make some money in libel suing if I were to come out, but it just ain't worth it.
Actually, I haven't found that most people are likely to care much. In my experience, someone who does openly make an issue of it is usually rude or terribly uneducated. If your attire is fashionable, tasteful and cut for your body shape, I honestly don't see why anyone would complain even privately, no matter the venue. Now, we need to talk about some of the flamboyant, over-the-top crap some cross-dressers wear...
It dosen't really matter if you are straight, gay, transgender, cisgender, cross dresser or not, everyone at some point will make poor fashion choices that will make people say what were you thinking. Some people just do it more often then others. As for my self, I only make poor fashion choices on days which end in the letter y.
I absolutely was. I have actually never seen a cross-dresser or trans-woman whose attire I found to be particularly offensive. Even the crazier outfits can be kind of cute.
Omg okay haha I saw your post and I was just like. What. It's so hard to tell whether people are serious on the Internet, since it's hard to convey your tone through writing sometimes. And, unfortunately, a lot of people do seriously hate on effeminate men/transwomen. :bang:
Oh, intended to illustrate that with the ellipses (...), but I guess that's been less fashionable since smilies came around. If you've had a lot of such experiences with prejudice, though, that is quite a shame. For me, I don't think that anything is quite so crass as trying to make a person who is already in a vulnerable position feel self-conscious. I just see it as the most trashy possible behavior. A southerner ought to have more manners, you know?
