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something i've wondered

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by pronua, Mar 3, 2012.

  1. pronua

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    Why do people like this: My COMING OUT Story - YouTube
    even have to come out? Just by looking at him and listening to his voice wouldn't people already know he's gay? Or do people only start acting like that after they come out? I'm not trying to offend anyone, but it just seems weird to me that people can't figure out this guy's gay without him saying so.
     
  2. Chip

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    Well... there are certainly people who come out and everyone goes "Oh, Jesus, we've known for years..." but until they do actually own it, their gayness is sort of an elephant in the room, so there's value in being up front about it. For example, Johnny Weir (the figure skater)... nobody in their right mind would see him as straight, but he tapdanced around the issue for years, even though he wasn't fooling anyone. And when he finally did come out, it just sort of got the elephant out of the room.

    And no, most gay people don't start acting more femme when they come out, though some may feel a little more comfortable being who they truly are.
     
  3. kellymporta

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    Well when I was in high school I had this friend who was probably the best definition of gay guy that you could find. However, we always thought that he just had a lot of female mannerisms but he was still straight. Until now, we have never seen him with a boyfriend so we still don't think he is gay or bisexual. That means that if my friend is really gay, he still needs to tell us.

    However, I live in a more homophobic country than U.S. so probably that's why we consider someone being gay as the least possible scenario.
     
  4. IanGallagher

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    The first, and basically, only guy I've fallen for on a more relationship level was actually a flamboyant guy that used to even play with Barbies and an Easy Bake Oven when he was growing up. He was also really religious and hoped he wasn't gay. He too came out but went through the same insecurities and everything. He helped me to come out. Basically saying, just because people may know - it's still hard for them to admit to it.
     
  5. Gerit

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    My personal view is that sexuality doesn't define behavior - I know several 'showy' guys who are straight.

    I think it's just having the courage to say, "Hey! I'm gay and now that's out of the way!"
     
  6. starfish

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    First off. Wow, he had a rough coming out. Second he is totally adorable.

    My issue with the OPs premise, is that make an assumption. We all know what happens when you make assumptions. You make an ass of U and mption.

    Years ago I worked with a femminine guy. Everyone assumed he was gay and in the closet.
    When I came out at work everyone was floored. As far as the femminine guy he is happy with his girlfriend and they are planning to get married and have kids.
     
  7. IanGallagher

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    I was practically groped by a fellow worker a year older than me after giving him a TV because I was moving lol. He's straight. Or at least I think he is. But on other occasions he's openly sat on guys laps and commented that some modeling pictures of actors were really well done (we're in the film industry). Yet, when one of his best friends came out (not me, he doesn't know) he was really surprised since it was sprung on him - which is partly why I think he's straight (in addition to similarly talking about how hot girls are). I'm bi and some of the things he does in public - I'd never do. I'm just really conservative in some ways still. While he's straight and would probably make you question it.
     
  8. TriCube

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    I have a feeling some young people (or even older) find out about themselves after other people already know. Just from reading around on this site, several coming out stories mention the "they knew before I did" concept. This is can be seen many times when someone comes out to their parents. And sometimes it just has to do more with self-acceptance by publicly acknowledging it, rather than just letting others know. Once it's out there, they can rest easy knowing that other people for sure know, and that in itself makes it less of a big deal.