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Do deratory terms offend you IF...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by King, Mar 10, 2012.

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  1. King

    King Guest

    ...they're used playfully?
    Oftentimes I hear people saying things like "queer" and "f*g" and "f*ggot" (you get the idea) and I was just wondering if anybody ever felt offended by it. I actually don't. I know that they're just using it for lack of a better adjective :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    Anyways, opinions?
     
    #1 King, Mar 10, 2012
  2. Mogget

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    It depends on who's using the and the context in which they're being used. In general, though, I'm not offended by such language when used as a joke, I'm contemptuous.
     
    #2 Mogget, Mar 10, 2012
  3. Jordash

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    In my personal experience with those types of names, I used to get really worked up about them, but I just don't care anymore. Just as long as they aren't calling me specifically a mean name, im fine. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Jordash, Mar 10, 2012
  4. Bi Since Birth

    Bi Since Birth Guest

    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    well before I realized I was a "queer", "fag" whatever you want to say. I used to use the terms as well...but very rarely and it was usually to poke fun at someone. Now when I hear them used I cringe a little bit. Not because it offends me but because it reveals to me the ...ignorance, if you will of the person saying it. First off, they are not meaning to hamr anyone (usually) with the use of the word...but they have no idea that I could take offense to it. I'm out to a lot of close friends but most acquaintences I'm not. Those people throw those words around with no idea that it may be offending me and I guess thats what makes me cringe. The friends I'm out to still use them but there is always a sideways glance to me or something. Or sometimes they'll say it and then immediately apologize, in which case I will say its fine.

    So I guess I'm on the fence about it...it even makes me cringe when other gay people say words like that to eachother...
     
    #4 Bi Since Birth, Mar 10, 2012
  5. secretguyX

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    It depends. If I hear someone saying them just in general, not meaning to hurt anyone, it doesn't really bother me. I mean it does a bit, but I don't get angry at them because they don't really realize what they're saying could be offensive. If they're saying it to someone trying to be offensive, then it gets me pissed off.
     
    #5 secretguyX, Mar 10, 2012
  6. flyinhernikes

    flyinhernikes Guest

    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    no not at all, i dont take many things to heart if even they are aimed at me.
    im weird like that :s
     
    #6 flyinhernikes, Mar 10, 2012
  7. Hazel

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    I'm very hard to offend and I don't mind, but I think it's a little tasteless to use them in front of a lot of people. They're some of those words that aren't often taken seriously anymore, but still hold some negative connotations and might irk some people.
     
    #7 Hazel, Mar 10, 2012
  8. fatalmoon91

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    it depends...if they are aimed at me i don't normally care. if they are aimed at a friend of min or someone close whether they are gay or not I'm ready to jump on top of whoever is using them and beat their faces in. ^^ we are just gonna go with thats cause i have a soft spot for my friends.
     
    #8 fatalmoon91, Mar 10, 2012
  9. PlutonianShore

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    Not really. I often playfully refer to myself as a 'faggot' or 'fruit' tons of times when I'm in the company of friends who know. Even though it does irritate them at times.
     
    #9 PlutonianShore, Mar 10, 2012
  10. Kidd

    Kidd Guest

    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    It really doesn't bother or phase me at all, period.

    Just last night I was at a party with a group of friends and my friend's boyfriend refused to get us another bottle of wine, so as he was leaving she called him a faggot and then she turned to me and said, "Oh, sorry Gage..." and I said, "No it's alright, you meant stupid gay not gay gay." It's important to make those distinctions.

    I actually have been called a faggot in a demeaning way just once, and it was recent, by some drunken idiot at a bar. My friends rushed over and basically ran him out of the place for me. They were more offended by it than I was, honestly.
     
    #10 Kidd, Mar 10, 2012
  11. Gravity

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    I'm very rarely okay with the f-word (i usually only use it for shock value in the most un-pc of jokes) - "gay" can be fine between friends, but often it's just other gay friends, and when we say "that's so gay," it's usually not a euphemism for anything.

    tbh, I'm kind of surprised to hear that so many people here *aren't* bothered by it.
     
    #11 Gravity, Mar 10, 2012
  12. Emberstone

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    for me, context is everything. I think I am of this view because I am a English Major. The power of words is a important point of study for me, because words are in essence the most vivid way through which we exchange information.

    so if someone jokeily punches me in the arm, and saying "you're so gay", I can laugh it off.

    if someone punches me in the stomach and shows "You're so gay", I am not going to feel like laughing.
     
    #12 Emberstone, Mar 10, 2012
  13. Black Cat

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    They don't offend me, but that doesn't make it okay to use them to describe me. I'd be hurt if someone around me used a derogatory term for anyone of any race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. mostly because I shows their lack of kindness and courtesy to others.

    Using these terms also makes people look stupid. So chances are I'll think less of you if you call me a faggot, but you won't hurt my feelings.
     
    #13 Black Cat, Mar 10, 2012
  14. King

    King Guest

    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    You and I both! Well, I'm glad to see nobody is actually offended by it :slight_smile:
     
    #14 King, Mar 10, 2012
  15. girlboyari

    girlboyari Guest

    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    It doesn't really offend me, as long as it isn't meant to. When I was in sixth grade choir, the band kids call the choir kids 'choir queers', and it really hurt, but now I think back to it and laugh, thinking, "They were RIGHT!" :grin:
     
    #15 girlboyari, Mar 10, 2012
  16. JRNagoya

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    My best friend and his two brothers are always calling each other gay, which I always thought was funny since 1) I'd always wanted a brother and 2) well, I'm gay. My friend knows now, but his brothers don't. I wonder if he'll keep up with the brotherly-love insults, or if he'll start to curb his tongue.

    The interesting thing about insults is the apathetic or tepid response most people have towards emotionally charged words. It's not until you find that you're a member in one of the select groups that you really start to pay attention and take a stand on the issue. Now that I'm out, I keep waiting for the f-bomb to be hurled in my direction like some sort of right-of-passage. I know it's only a matter of time and hopefully I can walk away from it, but given my new found 'pride,' I'm almost spoiling to fight someone over it. Not smart in the least I know, but there you have it.

    On a lighter note, I'm white. I embrace my cracker heritage. I am taking cracker back.
     
    #16 JRNagoya, Mar 10, 2012
  17. Bosco

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    If it's used light heartedly and without any derogatory intent behind them, I'm generally okay. It's generally when they're used in smart-ass demeaning remarks about people that you barely know (eg. Look at those faggots over there) that my blood starts to boil.

    Actually, it depends on the term too. I REALLY dislike the use of fag and faggot.
     
    #17 Bosco, Mar 10, 2012
  18. BradThePug

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    I'm fine if my friends are using them in a lighthearted tone. If somebody is trying to offend my with them I don't like them.
     
    #18 BradThePug, Mar 10, 2012
  19. dude00

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    I'm not quite sure how the word fag or faggot can't be used non-derog. My closest friend used to call all gay guys fags or faggots but once I came out to him, he told me to not take it personally, and appoligized if I did but still occasionally refers to a gay guy as one. It's what I find interesting with a lot of people, really. Its sorta like it's their mission to 'point out the homos' anytime they see/hear one... my mom does it *all* the time (and I'm not out to my parents yet) and I even heard my dad say it a few weeks ago, and I've NEVER heard him say it before...

    It seems those of us who have been comfortable with their sexuality for quite some time don't seem to mind yet those who are still coping do. I know I sure as hell do.. my friend still used the term to me when talking about another gay guy. Flat out said he was a fag and I was like :confused:... he "took it back" by saying "well not a fag but, a flamer" but it's almost like .. really? There's like no point to it, other than trying to be malicious. And to a lot of people, it's subconscious, they don't even realize they are saying it.
     
    #19 dude00, Mar 10, 2012
  20. Rob999

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    Re: Do deragtory terms offend you IF...

    Not really. I'm used to hearing it. What annoys me the most is "the gay/homosexual lifestyle".
     
    #20 Rob999, Mar 10, 2012
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