How can us gays live openly and display affection when the threat of violence and discrimination lingers even here in the "land of the free"? I was just watching a video on Youtube showing one of the "what would you do" clips from that ABC reality show that sets actors presenting some controversial issue and seeing how unaware people react to discrimination, etc. In this video they had a gay couple holding hands and kissing on a bench somewhere in Alabama and during that time period someone called the cops on them for PDA (public display of affection) and some homophobic bigots made comments at them while walking by. They even showed clips from taxi-cab conversations where a guy made comments about how gays should be "put down" by gun for being open about themselves. What was even worse was reading all of the homophobic comments on that video (seems to be the case with any article or video about gays). Someday when I find someone I care about I want to be able to express my affection in public as straight couples can without fear of being discriminated against, beaten up or killed. But when there are lots of conservative, religious nutjobs who would like nothing better than to see gays exterminated like Hitler tried to do, how do you live openly? It seems like gay men have a higher chance of being discriminated against too since there is the double standard with straight guys accepting lesbians because they get off on watching it, but two men expressing love absolutely abhors them. I'm not inherently a violent person, but the more I hear about violent acts/rhetoric towards gays it makes my blood boil to the point where I think that if someone did try to harm me, I wouldn't have a problem taking them out. Just feeling such hatred makes me sick. I would not feel any hatred towards these people if it wasn't for the fact that they hate me for no logical reason. Why can't people "live and let live"? I also tend to be very accepting of people of different religious/spiritual views, but when groups like Christians/Catholics impose their religious beliefs upon others through legislation to keep them as second-class citizens, it's hard to feel anything but contempt for them. It seems like in this country all of the anti-gay rhetoric all revolves around the fucking bible (e.g. "it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve", quoting Leviticus, or definitions of marriage). What happened to separation of church and state? Now I realize that not all Christians are bigots or believe everything written in the bible, but there's enough of the bible-thumping assholes in this country that it makes the entire religion seem like one of its main purposes is to brainwash its followers through fear-mongering into discriminating against gays, women, and other minorities. It also doesn't help that most of the people running to lead this country next hold these hateful, bigoted views. For a religion that supposedly idolizes a man that espoused love and acceptance of everyone, why can't its followers follow his example? Sorry for the rant, but seriously, how do you live openly in a country (and a world) that treats you like shit for even being born? How is progress for gay rights to be made without resorting to their level? I'd like to be able to fight for my rights without them reducing me to being the same bullies that they are? We've gone through enough stress just figuring out that our sexuality doesn't conform to reproductive means of our species, so why the fuck do we need the extra aggravation? "Truth be told I'd settle for a life less frightening".
I don't think resorting to their level would solve anything. I just think it'd make getting equal rights take even longer. It would put others immediately on the defensive and they wouldn't be listening to anything we have to say (they being people that are fighting against gay rights). I understand your frustration though I think a lot of people are afraid of diversity and that is why they can not live and let live. For most people, there is some comfort in what is familiar. Throughout history, if someone was different in anyway chances are they were treated poorly. The way they were treated ranging from discrimination and segregation to genocide and other types of murder. The examples of this are almost endless When it comes to how to live openly, that is a good question. I think it depends on how the person wants to live. I'm not out and I don't plan on coming out any time soon, if at all, because I don't want to risk discrimination in my job field. A lot of the gay people I know (keep in mind that I don't know that many gays) are planning on moving or have already moved to gay friendly areas. Some are staying where they are and are fighting for rights. These aren't the only options, of course, but I think how you want to live is up to you. You could decide to be open and show affection and to hell with everyone that doesn't like it. You could decide to only be out to important people. You could decide to stay in the closet. I think it's your choice
A few things came to mind here: First of all, stop watching these videos, and especially stop reading the comments section! :lol: The worst of the worst are presented in these videos, and even if there were fifty people in a row saying all the same horrible things, it doesn't mean that everyone feels that way. In fact, I've read that for the first time, a majority (51%, but hey, even so) of people are favoring legal sanction of marriage rights for same-sex couples in the States. So while crazy people are out there, it's important to remember that they represent a minority. And as far as comments, the truth is, many, many people would never publicly voice the opinions they write there, much less act on them. It's a fake version of the population that's hyped up for dramatization purposes, both from the end of the readers and the end of the publishers. Secondly, don't forget that not everywhere is like Arizona (as a fellow resident from out-of-state, I feel qualified to assert this, hehe). I've been in places in Boston where gang members covered in tattoos will defend gay rights publicly, and there's no reason whatsoever to avoid PDAs in the largest of cities in several places, including New York, London, or Paris, as well as specific friendly places such as San Fran and Provincetown. Finally, this may or may not help your mood, but I personally don't believe that religion has anything to do with making people think one thing or another about gay people (or any other topic, for that matter). There are religious people who consider it their duty to persecute, and even harm, lgbt people, just as there are religious people who consider it their duty to accept and celebrate lgbt people and politically protect their rights . Now, religion can make people more "enthusiastic" in their hatred, that is certainly true, but I don't think it makes anyone do a complete 180 on the subject. None of which is a direct answer to your question, but I guess I'm just trying to say that it's not as bad as it seems, or as bad as that video and its comments make it seem. There are a variety of things you might think of - moving to a more welcoming place, surrounding yourself with more welcoming people where you are now, cutting people out of your life who bring intolerance and bigotry into your social experiences, and so forth. Beyond all this, just wanted to say too that I totally sympathize sometimes. If only we never had to worry about whether to hold hands in public! But I still wouldn't trade who I am for anything. Hang in there! (*hug*)
I am actually very grateful to be living in these times. We are quite literally watching mankind evolve and grow. By simply living our lives openly and honestly we're creating a better world and blazing trails for future LGBT teens and children, and that's really exciting to think about. The gay community will never be more unified than it is now and will be for the next few years. Once DOMA is struck down and marriage equality comes the activism will die off and organizations like the HRC and AFER and GLAAD will take a backseat in the same way that the NAACP has, and with that will come a scattering, in my opinion. As the LGBT community becomes more and more accepted we will need to rely on other LGBT people less and less. The same thing happened to black activists after the civil rights act was passed. I've even heard activists say that those were the best days of their lives. It's almost scary to think about but maybe these are our glory days. Plus, it really isn't that bad. People might gawk or double-take, but in my entire life I've only ever had one experience that I can call homophobic, and the idiot that caused the scene was the one that ran from me after it was over. Even though the homophobic comments do hurt and shock at first, eventually you get to a point where those sorts of things simply don't phase you anymore, they're old hat. It gives you strength when you overcome it. It gives life perspective. I don't mind it at all.
Well, the more we are open and proud of who we are as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or other human of different sexual orientations, the more people will seem to realize that maybe we aren't so terrible, that we aren't going to turn them gay or whatnot. If we show who we are and are proud, equality will happen that much faster. I'm with you- I hate it when straight guys have no problem with lesbians making out in public because it turns them on, but then are disgusted by the fact that two men are kissing. Really? Are they that close minded? It's all the same thing - THEY'RE GAY. Both like the same gender. Using your own sexual desires is not an adequate excuse for discriminating against the gender that doesn't fulfill these needs. Religion is a tricky spot for me; I was born and raised as a Roman Catholic, but as time went on, I realized that it wasn't the correct religion for me. Now I'm agnostic. When people kill and discriminate in the name of the Bible, they aren't true Christians. The Bible says to love each other and to treat everyone with kindness and respect. That's pretty much it.
