A lot of people get offended when they hear, "That's so gay!". Also when they hear words like queer, fag, homo, and things like that. They don't bother me much, because those people either aren't intentionally saying it, or if they are they're just narrow minded. But when I hear people (my Mom mostly, if she's talking about someone she saw in a movie or read in a book or something) saying lezzie, lesbo, lez, and things like that, it really bothers me. I don't know why, it could be I feel they aren't respectful, and that they are demeaning. But then again, queer, fag, and homo don't bother me.
Oh, also the word lesbian just bothers me in general. That's why I consider myself gay. I refuse to say lesbian, and I kind of get annoyed just hearing it.
I think it all depends on the context of the statement. When a lot of people say "that's gay" they're just using a saying. Most of the time I can't think of a way in which what they're referring to could be gay. On the other hand, if they pointedly say "that's gay" to someone, and you know the intent is a put-down, I do find that offensive. Another thing that occured to me when I read your post is that the terms you say don't offend you are the ones often used in reference to male homosexuality while the ones you point out as offensive refer to females. I'm guessing that's not really what you meant - just an observation. For me, I'd rather be referred to as gay than homosexual, and I really take offense at queer and fag - but I know others don't. What a world. (&&&)
I noticed that too when I was writing it, but I actually prefer being referenced by male homosexuality terms than female homosexuality terms, even though I'm really feminine.
It's kind of hard not to be influenced by certain pervasive terms, slang, speech patterns and such. I must admit to using the word "gay" as a general insult once or twice. But I stopped because A: it's stupid and immature, and B: It made me uncomfortable (even though I still thought I was straight). Really, I'm not super bothered by the use of "gay" like that any more than I am when I hear "retarded" used in the same way (that is, I'm mildly annoyed and lose some respect for the speaker). I do think that terms like "homo" and "lesbo" are a little offensive (I;ve never heard them in a non-offensive way), but words like "fag/ faggot" are pretty damned insulting. I don't consider "queer" to be that bad of a word in that I simply see it as meaning (in a LGBT context at least) not a cisgendered heterosexual.
IMO, it all depends on how people get used to the word and how they understood the use of the word. One can say to a gay," you are beautiful" and get insulted even if the speaker meant it as a compliment.
I've sort of adopted the term "queer" for myself, because I'm not cisgender or hetero, and "genderqueer" is too long to say. I take it in its true meaning, "odd," which I definitely am. I don't mind "lesbian," but "lesbo," "homo," and especially "fag/faggot" bother me quite a bit. A faggot is a length of wood to burn in the fire, not a person. My mom uses those last three terms quite a bit, especially "fag," though usually only to refer to someone she considers "unsuitable for me to associate with." Since a lot of those are LGBT people, well....
its funny you mention this...earlier tonight me and my friends where playing a drinking game and rhyming came up. normally I'm not offended when people say almost anything but in the rhyming my roommate used the word "queer". he has known i am gay for awhile and for some reason it bothered me that queer was the first word he came up with. I don't know why i couldn't fathom him using it as an insult but it just felt off to me.
I admit to also using "that's so gay" as a phrase before. It never really has bothered me when I say it, but when others say it it's just a little off setting, but I think that's cuz it reminds me that I might be gay. To me, I think "that's retarded" is so much more offensive. In the end, I think most gay people know how to handle it and can differentiate between a blatant insult and a harmless comment. Taking offense to the phrase acknowledges that it is an insult.
I don't mind fag (well, I do actually, when my friends use that word - I usually tell them not to do so ), but I really mind one our word that describes gay people, I don't know whether English uses the word "warm", but that is it's translation.
Welp they don't bother me, if someone calls you a fag, you have plenty of comebacks such as "I know I am" or "thank you" also you can take it with the reall definitions like "I'm not a stick" or "not a cigar" you guys get what I mean? I mean it doesn't bother me, well sometimes, when peopl try to use it on like a retard ratrds are retards not fags, unluss you mean a stick.. I'm jusr babbling now....
Personally "That's so gay" doesn't bother me that much, it's kinda like "That's retarded" not a very politically correct thing to say, but not super offensive unless directed at a person then I have an issue with them. Homo and queer only bother me if they're used in provocative context and even then they don't bug me too much. Fag and faggot on the other hand bug me quite a bit, there is no way for them not to be an obscene insult.
I often find myself saying "thats so gay" and while it doesn't offend her my girlfriend often scolds me for it >.< However, the terms fag, faggot do bother me, as well as lezobo,lez and other terms. The japanese word for lesbian is often just "rezu", pronounced with a hard R(sounds like l/r/d) and i hate it >.<
Words like fag, faggot, lez, and lesbo have never been used in a positive manner from my experience. Oddly enough I never really hear them from anyone but my parents anymore. Personally fag/faggot really do bother me. I don't think they should ever be used, there is just so much negative history behind them. Even when people use them as a joke, they just remind me of all the people who have been horribly mistreated over the years for their sexuality. I admit I have said "that's so gay" but I stopped after I offended a coworker. I thought, hey I'm gay I can say it. I hurt his feelings (he struggled with suicide in the past) and I realized that phrases like that lose their "fun" after you think about the people who get hurt by it. I usually can tell when people don't mean things the way they say them but words like fag just should be erased. Cocksucker actually pisses me off more than anything.
If "faggot" doesn't bother you, that's kind of worrying. I can understand not liking lesbian though. I am most used to being around gay women who prefer to be referred to as lesbians, so I just try to feel out what company I am in. Some people like certain labels, some don't. It's our job to be sensitive and try to figure it out.
Personally, none of them bother me, people think "thats so gay" bothers me, but it doesn't, and I hate when people are around me, they say it, then they look at me and they say "Oh.. I forgot you're gay.. I'm sorry" I find none of them offensive, I never say.. f*ggot, and I can't even type it, hence the star, because that star made me feel semi-better about typing it, I don't like the word itself because it's used in a derogatory manner, but at the same time... people don't know the real definition.. it's a pile of sticks people... people just use that word as an insult to gays, but it's a fricken pile of sticks, that's the original definition, people just made it into an insult.
When my friends say things like 'that's so gay' ect.,it doesn't really bother me because I know they don't mean it in a derogatory way. But for some when my mum referred to someone as a homosexual I didn't like the word,i have no idea why. To me it seems to formal.
THIS is exactly how I feel. At first I thought I just wasn't used to the word, but I think I just find the word itself offensive. It's just inherently an ugly word. 'Gay' legitimately doubles as a word for 'happy,' while 'lesbian' just sounds awful.
