gay guys hate lesbians?

I dig lesbians, despite not knowing any in person. I knew one in school, and she was mean to me, not because she was gay, but because her dad is a twat (which I learned later).

And what's up with the whole gays vs. lesbian thing anyway? I've heard/seen (not on EC, but we seem to be an exception to most rules...) that there is a lot of disdain for one from the opposing party, but can't we all just get along?

But lesbians are cool in my book.

 

Well, that's pretty rude of them D:< (joking)

Though I have a few gay guy friends and I'm out to them. They're cool with it. :3

 

Uh, no, no, and more no. The truth of the matter is that gay guys and lesbians barely associate together and know almost nothing about each other. Otherwise, they get along, uhh, okay, I guess. I have honestly never known a lesbian. I would be cool with hanging out with a lesbian, though...just not just because she's a lesbian, you know? There would have to be some sort of common interest, like...well, hiking, perhaps.

 

haha well then I'm screwed because one of my best friends, one who is helping me work through my ex-gay past, one who is helping me find supports in my local community (because he lives three hours away from me) is a gay guy.

lol I think this is just a stereotype... why would gay guys and lesbians not like each other? I mean, that just seems odd...

 

I can't find where I read this, but apparently there is some miniscule amount of truth to this in 60's and 70's gay rights movement (in America), in which gay men and lesbians would sometimes exclude one another from joining their groups. I don't think it was widespread by any means...

Heh, speak for yourself, 'cause I'm good friends with several lesbians at my college. Ironically, we all enjoy hiking/recreation quite a bit...

Speaking of which - almost every gay man I've met here is into outdoor recreation (hiking, skiing/snowboarding, hunting, fishing, biking, etc.). So much for stereotypes, ja?

 

It's obviously way overstated, but it's not 100% inaccurate. I do know some gay guys who literally want nothing to do with lesbians. "They like precisely the opposite of what I like - we don't have any common ground." Their choice, but I think they're dumb.

Lex

 

I mostly just wish I knew any lesbians at all in my age group. I literally cannot think of one lesbian classmate of mine.
The only reason I can think of that a gay guy would dislike a lesbian is jealousy, which would go both ways ("why is it that she can be attracted to girls but I can't"/vice versa).

And I happen to really enjoy hiking/camping.

 

Well this person sounds like he/she has no idea what they are talking about

 

honestly, colorful, love, I wouldn't worry about it too much. there are a lot of all inclusive LGBTQ groups that are just about supporting anyone who either loves someone who does not, or does not themself, fit into the hetero-normative definition.

and honestly, one of my greatest friends I have ever had in my life is an out-of-the-closet, amazingly brave and genuine gay guy. and I am an in-the-closet, totally chicken and just learning to accept herself lesbian girl. so there you go.

 

I never heard of that...thats so dumb! I like gay guys! Not ALL gay guys - you can't get along with everyone.

But you'd think the shared ground of homosexuality would bring gays and lesbians together right?

 

Colorful, you have to understand, gay guys can be the worst people in the world for coming up with bull crap armchair psychology. I'm not kidding. It's the one gay stereotype that is true of all gay men over 60, which constitute the overwhelming majority of gay people I've known personally. If you hear gay guys saying nonsense of some kind, forgive them. They can't help themselves.

 

From my limited knowledge of the history of queer advocacy, I think there was a trend in early advocacy for lesbians to get short shrifted by the gay men who headed most of the advocacy groups, to ignore their issues, and generally to present the movement as being exclusively male. This created quite a bit of resentment in the lesbian community, and gay men resented the resentment. The end result of which was that there was quite a bit of bad blood between the two.

 

Definitely not true. But I can see how the myth could spread sometimes. About 25 years ago, there was a gay bar & restaurant in my city that had many staffmembers, and I think even the owner, who treated any woman who entered the establishment very poorly, especially women who liked women. Not everyone that worked there was like that but I can see how some people might get that impression. And there are some popular gay men I know who perpetuate this myth still, to this day, unfortunately. It is just some weird persistent urban myth though.

I know its not true though, my best friend for 20 years is a gay male. He has always known that I prefer girls, and that want to be a girl myself, I don't know if that makes me a lesbian but it doesn't make a difference to him or me. I once had 2 really good friends who were inseparable, one was a gay male and one a lesbian, both self-proclaimed. They would tease each other, but they really loved each other. Amazing people, I think they are still friends all these years later. I could go on and on with examples.

The world can be a very confusing place.

 

I don't think I've ever met a lesbian I *didn't* like. I can't imagine what external, consistent reason there would be for gay men and gay women not to get along with each other.

 

You should really stick to only speaking for yourself

Like many posters here, I also have no problem with lesbians whatsoever. I'm friends with a lot of lesbians and I freaking love them. We have a group of LGBT people and we always have a good time when we all hang out together. Yes, sometimes we make jokes about certain stereotypes (I always make the lesbians move the table for beer pong ) but we all know that we are just messing around. Not to mention that my cousin is a lesbian and I freaking love her!

Whenever someone speaks to you about "gay rules/facts" just pay no attention unless its a joke. There is no set of rules or guidelines that all gay men must follow. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is clearly too full of themselves.

 

I do. I speak for my experience and observations. Mine. Not yours. In my experience, gay men are every bit as capable as straight people of being shallow, bigoted and petty. Some so-called "bears" are extremely hateful toward transsexuals and smooth, feminine gay guys (like me). There are even gay guys out there who hold the belief that "all lesbians are rude" and genuinely dislike them.

There are also plenty of gay men, like me, who just haven't ever met any lesbians and don't have any justification in seeking them out, just for being lesbians. I wouldn't even know where to look for them, except perhaps an upscale nightclub I heard about that supposedly attracts a lot of them. I would rather get to know a woman for some reason other than her sexuality. I would be happy enough knowing a woman for years without knowing her sexuality. It's irrelevant to me. What is relevant to me is her personality and reliability as a friend.

Then again, I don't even know whether I've known any lesbians or not. It might be I've known a whole lot of them and just never caught wind of it. I do have "gaydar," but I don't have "lezdar." I can't detect if someone is a lesbian. I might know reams of lesbians, and I just don't know it. Why? Because I don't see any reason to ask. It's their business. A gay woman's sex life (for that matter, any woman) is none of my business, no matter how much we may have in common Platonically.

But that's why it's important to stick to reputable venues, when looking to interact with other gay people. Just like straight society, there is a filthy underbelly to the gay community. You WILL run into bigotry and ignorance.

 

I don't personally know any lesbians, but I don't have a problem with them. What's to hate?