Me: "What's wong?" Them: "Nothing" Me: "Wanna Talk?" Them: "No" Me: "Ok Then, I'm here if you need me" . . -Half an hour later- Them: "Aren't you going to try and talk to me about why I'm sad?!!" Me: ?!! I've got a really sensitive housemate; they feel things really deeply and when they're tired or stressed like anyone else would - Things make them snap sometimes. One thing I wanna know is; Does anyone else find themselves in a situation like this on an almost daily basis? Outside of obviously asking them if they're ok, and if there's anything you can do for them/try and talk it out, if they keep saying that theyre fine then give you the cold shoulder for not being "More concerned" .. . What the hell are you supposed to do lol?! Anyone else have uber-sensitive friends?
It sounds like you friend just likes attention. I think what you're doing is mostly all you can do until they learn to be more mature about it. But then again, you did say "I'm here if you need me", maybe that's their way of saying they want to talk, but are too proud to admit it. I would answer back "Aren't you going to tell me what's wrong when I ask??" I don't really have friends like that. Although I have been on the other side of the conversation and have said nothing is wrong when there obviously is. But I don't go wanting the other person to continue asking questions, which is why I'd give the "nothing" answer in the first place.
Yeah they are attention seeking sometimes; fortunatley they're not like this all the time, but when they are it's like I can't do a thing right lol. And like you I've been in that spot before so I can completely see where they are coming from too; sometimes it's easier to say nothing than what's actually bothering you - it's really hard to be there for someone you care about when they shut off, then they decide that because you gave them space they think you're a jerk haha!
Ugh.....the uber sensitive friends. I have a few. I think I need to start carrying a clown nose in my back pocket so I can put it on in a moments notice and start dancing to cheer them up....at least, this feels like it's what they expect of me.
Sounds like a cry for attention. You DID ask they said, "no." You're not a mind reader, if they want someone to figure them out that is what psychologists are for.
Yeah, I've got one like that. I try and live by the idea of "take what I say at face value, and I'll do the same for you". It isn't exactly a secret; if you've met me, you kinda get that ideal... so I follow it. She gets upset sometimes, sure, but I'm of the belief that you aren't going to get help without putting forward the effort to go for it. Basically 'you need to care about yourself before anyone else should'; within reason of course. Obviously certain circumstances don't apply here.
I know just how you feel!! They all want a quick and easy answer that will make their day better - when half the time the advice that needs to be given to them needs to come from a doctor; I love my friends dearly but I think I may have to buy a long couch and start charging them! XD
Obviously I don't know your friend beyond that conversation, but with people like that, they almost need to be treated kinda harshly so they can pull themselves together on their own. Also, they may genuinely feel upset, but often it's exaggerated for attention - even if they don't realise this. Being too nice and sympathetic to sensitive friends can have unintended consequences, that's all.
EXACTLY! I used to have this problem where I expected people to know that I was upset if I dropped them hints; likewise, I would feel guilty if other people were upset around me, because I thought I must have done something. Then a counselor helped me learn that people can't read my mind, and I can't read theirs. It's not your responsibility to KNOW what your friend is upset about without them saying anything. It's their responsibility to speak up about it. Saying you are there if they want to talk is the nicest thing you can do, and that's all. Then the ball is in their court.
