Okay so cheating.. Obviously you shouldn't cheat and all that stuff. But some people say "well if they cheated they obviously dont love you" DISAGREE!! I personally think just because someone cheats, doesn't mean they don't love their S.O.! They could have been caught in the moment, or vulnerable, maybe the relationship isn't going well but they don't wanna end it but don't wanna stay..! Anyway maybe I'm crazy, or heartless lol I just don't think it means the cheater isnt in love. Granted, some cheaters are just total tools and looking for a good time and someone to care.. But I don't think that's always the case. I don't know ive got a few opinions from people over time and wondering what you guys think?!
While I'm not perfect, and have cheated once in the past, I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me. I wouldn't expect them to stay with me if I cheated on them either. It's a betrayal of trust that I just can't tolerate, not to mention a potential health hazard should they have caught something from their encounter.
Yeah I agree, I wouldn't stay if I was getting cheated on and wouldn't expect my partner to stay if I was the cheater.
I disagree. I think that if someone is cheating on you, they don't truly love you, because they aren't thinking about you when you're with them. They think so little of you to sneak around behind your back like you aren't good enough. So why are they with you?
I think cheating doesn't necessarily mean that person doesn't love you, but it does mean apparently it's not enough or they're just idiots. I don't believe in getting ''caught in the moment'', whatever happens you are always there and it's your decision to do what you're doing. A cheater knows perfectly well what he or she is doing. He/she may regret it afterwards, but in the moment they just didn't care about it. I could never trust someone who cheated on me again, simply because the regret afterwards isn't the problem: it's getting in that situation in the first place that is the problem. Maybe I can get convinced of the fact that you can get caught in the moment and kiss with someone else, but anything beyond that just needs so much active work from your side that it's not believable anymore for me. But even so, I know from myself that I would never do something like that to someone. "the relationship isn't going well but they don't wanna end it but don't wanna stay..!" That's selfish. You either go for a relationship or you don't. You gotta choose, that's just the way it works. And if you really love someone, you end things if you feel like otherwise you're just gonna hurt this person. But that's just (maybe old-fashioned) me I think flirting is allowed, though! As long as you set clear boundaries for yourself and know about yourself that you can stick to them.
The only relationship I've ever had was with a girl who cheated on me. I didn't know this until after we'd broken up for two weeks. I broke up with her because she told me being with me wasn't making her as happy as it did when we first started going out. At this point I was fairly sure I was in love with her, but I saw it as a whole 'I'd rather just be friends than lose you from my life forever' kind of thing. In an argument a couple of weeks later she whipped it out of nowhere, and then told me our whole relationship was just a rebound and really meant nothing to her. Pretty much just to spite me. She then got a new boyfriend the a couple of weeks after. I see them everyday. Yeah... Overall I wouldn't say 100% that someone doesn't love someone because they cheat- every situation is different and has it's own circumstance. However due to my personal experience I would never cheat on anyone regardless of whether I loved them or not. It's just a really shitty thing to do all round.
They may still love the person, but obviously they didn't love them enough to go sleeping with other people. Wether the relationship is strained or not. When you engage in a relationship, you give someone your trust. Its completly wrong to betray that trust.
What it comes down to is respect and integrity. First, the notion of "being caught in the moment" or "vulnerable"... that's simply BS. People make a conscious choice to cheat on a significant other. It's not like they're stepping out of the shower naked and someone runs up and attacks them... there are many moments in the process of cheating where the cheater has the option to stop and realize what they're doing, and what it comes down to is... if they cheat, they're too selfish, or simply don't care about, their partner/SO enough to act with integrity. Likewise, I hear people use the excuse "Oh, I was drunk and wasn't aware of what I was doing." Bullshit. People know, even when they're drunk, what's right and wrong. And if they are really so drunk that they don't, then they're being irresponsible and showing a lack of integrity by putting themselves in a risky situation like that in the first place. The bottom line is... if you love someone, you respect them, and you respect the relationship between you. If you go and cheat on them, you're demonstrating that you have no integrity, and if there's no integrity or trust in a relationship... then the relationship is meaningless, and any expression of love is similarly meaningless.
I think most, if not all cheaters are tools. Before I elaborate, let me just say I've never been cheated on, nor have I done the cheating. I also feel it relevant to mention that I define cheating as a sexual encounter with someone who is not your partner. There are other forms of cheating, for sure, but it seems to me the OP means physical cheating. I've seen it in practice, and it is my observation that most cheaters are selfish pricks - not necessarily all the time, but at least for the moment when they make the decision to hurt someone they supposedly love. It shouldn't take much to tell someone, "Back off. I'm in a relationship." Then if something happens it is on the person the cheating would have been with and it is called rape, which is a totally different thread. Perhaps it is my Disney-fueled notion of true love, or my naïve perception of what a real and honest relationship requires, but I think that if you really do love someone then doing something like that to them would hurt you too much, because you knew it would in turn hurt them.
I could not have said it better myself. I've seen this happen to my mom with my dad, and I totally agree. Loving someone is respecting them and putting their happiness before your own, so if you go sleep around with someone behind their back, defiling your sacred relationship with your partner, how is that putting your loved one first or respecting them? It's especially true if they make excuses about it. I already don't trust people, so if my mate were to cheat on me, it's over. No matter how much I love them, I'm not forgiving in that regard, and that trust cannot be regained.
