1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Why are some gay boys so snooty?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by King, Mar 28, 2012.

  1. King

    King Guest

    PLEASE READ

    I know many of you are probably going to be like, "STFU and GTFO" but I want to explain. I hesitated writing about this because I'm sure some people will be ticked off, but I needed to ask.
    Why are some gay boys just so rude?
    I know quite a few gay boys in the area - none of whom know I'm gay - and whenever I talk to them, they always come off as really rude and superficial. I don't know why - I'm certainly not rude to them.
    Any ideas as to why they appear to think they're better then others?
    Thanks and PLEASE understand I'm not trying to be rude myself...
     
  2. BudderMC

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3,148
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    The problem with your post isn't that you have a problem with guys who happen to be gay and happen to be rude.

    The problem is that it's pretty implied that these guys are rude because they're gay. I'm not sure if that's what was intended or not, but that's definitely how it sounds.

    EDIT: That sounded really harsh in retrospect. The point I'm trying to get across is that people aren't rude because they're gay; they're just rude. Just like there are guys (gay and straight) who are flamboyant. Sexuality has nothing to do with the matter.
     
    #2 BudderMC, Mar 28, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2012
  3. King

    King Guest

    Yes, I'm sorry for any confusion on my behalf. What I'm saying is not that they're rude because they're gay, just a surprising amount of gay boys I meet ARE rude. Not nessicarily correlating the two (gay = rude) just pointing out how many gay boys happen to BE rude. I was hoping for some gay boys opinions.
     
  4. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Some gay boys are rude because the same reason anyone else is rude. They are probably dealing with their own insecurities, low self-esteem, bad days or they aren't aware that they are being rude.

    I will say that it might seem like a lot of gay guys are snooty because A LOT of them tend to act like divas, which makes them much more noticeable than any other "regular" gay guy out there. For example, someone in your school might say "agh, all the gay guys in our school are rude as fuck" yet they will be wrong because they simply aren't able to see all the gay guys like you who aren't rude.
     
  5. Loras

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2012
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Zealand, Hamilton
    When i first meet someone I tend to put a barrier up untill i feel comfortable around them, this is due to the fact im gay which makes me more volnerable.
    Maybe thats what it is? there just putting a barrier up because they dont know how your going to take the fact they are gay?
    and then some gay guys just think their divas!!!
     
  6. Witchcraft

    Witchcraft Guest

    Because they're fabulous V.V



    omg lol Im jk, but yeah it seems like most gay guys I've met in real life are really snooty, I guess I myself could come off as snooty at times but I'm never rude or anything to anyone I just don't talk much around strangers
     
  7. steel03

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2011
    Messages:
    435
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Iowa
    First of all, I don't think it sounded at all like you were saying they were rude because they were gay.
    I think it's an annoying cultural quirk in some parts of the gay world, like how at my high school there was a huge group of extremely bitchy and whiny African-American girls. They weren't bitchy and whiny because they were black, but they were all black.
    Probably it has to do with self-esteem, but you're right, it can be really off-putting.
     
  8. simon94

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2011
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    U.K
    I find the same thing. Though the boys I know seem to conform to many gay sterotypes- bitchy, camp, shallow, fashion obsessed etc. and I think that the rudeness is a side effect of these other traits.

    It might just be because they think that's what being gay is about?
     
  9. SFSorrow

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2011
    Messages:
    238
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hampshire, UK
    I think the thing might be that people you meet who are like this are automatically assumed to be gay, and are more obvious than 'straight-acting' (or whatever expression you want to use, I'm not a big fan of it either) and so reinforce the stereotype, so it becomes self perpetuating and difficult to see past.

    When I first started to come out my friend who is a lesbian pretty much warned me that I wouldn't fit in that easily and might find things harder because I wasn't like that.

    It's difficult and I haven't got my head around how I feel from a practical point of view, even though philosophically I am completely 100% in favour of people being themselves and not caring what others think.
     
  10. Level75

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2012
    Messages:
    391
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    In that line of thought, it has nothing to do with being gay. Just being exposed to the types of people in fashion culture? My mother works at Bloomingdales and all of her coworkers (and I'm sorry to admit that she herself) can be pretty bitchy, vain, and intrusive. Listening to her talk to her coworkers on the phone can be kind of like a painful drinking game. How many times can they refer to this one particular coworker is "The Idiot"? Loose lips sink ships, man!
     
  11. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I will say that, based on my experience, there are an awful lot of gay guys, usually in their teens and 20s, who are incredibly superficial, bitchy, elitist, and arrogant. More so than with straight guys. And my guess is it goes to insecurity. As I've said many times, gay guys have all the same emotional baggage straight guys have... but we get an "extra serving" because of the inherent homophobia in society that damages our self-esteem. And for some guys, the way that baggage gets dealt with is by creating a bitchy, dramatic, elitist facade. A lot of those guys will eventually figure out what's going on and become decent people... but it tends to take a lot of time. So it's usually easier to just find the ones that aren't that way and spend your time with them. :slight_smile:
     
  12. Mad Man L

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2011
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    I'm inclined to say it's because they're trying to fit a 'gay stereotype' or something along those lines. And it is the stereotypical gay people who stand out.