I had my preliminary meeting with a counselor today, which mainly consisted of figuring out exactly what I needed help with. Currently the waiting list for setting up regular appointments is about two weeks, but he set me up with an appointment to talk with a university coordinator for the LGBT community, and she'll be working with the counseling center. All in all it went pretty well, although I didn't really anticipate how difficult it was going to be talking about it in person for the first time; I had to stop and start over a few times. One issue I did have though, as well as a bit of clarity mixed in, about ten minutes into the meeting I noticed how attractive my male counselor was and got a little distracted. He probably won't be my regular counselor though, so that probably won't be an issue. TL DNR: met with counselor, will meet with LGBT coordinator, had some difficulty talking to counselor, male counselor was kind of hot.
Anapanasati can help with the distraction. Focus on your breathing, and try to focus on it without trying to control it. For a jump-start, some people like to count ten inhalations and then ten exhalations. The purpose of this exercise is to teach you how to just think about something without it having to matter to you materially, and this keeps your higher consciousness more in control. Anyway, I am glad that things are working out for you. Best of luck!
I've heard quite a few people talk about how difficult it can be to discuss sexual orientation or anything related to that in person. I think it's a combination of our internalized homophobia (something nearly all of us have some of), our own fear of being "different", and the level of embarrassment or shame that many of us have talking with anyone other than a close friend about sex and sexual activities. I think you'll be surprised how, once you develop a rapport with your counselor, how easy it can be to talk about these things, and how open you can be. Once you feel "safe" and realize you won't be judged, things get a lot easier.
