Why it sucks to be a gay Christian

Maybe you'll just have to compromise with either your faith or your sexuality. You can be spiritual without being religious, you don't have to be a member of a church that preaches intolerance. I'm very sorry you're going through this I hope it ends soon!

I'm kind of intrigued by how you can be a Christian and be gay, it seems really contradictory. I left Christianity and now I'm a spiritual pantheistic agnostic - I would recommend you at least try this.

Sorry if I haven't gotten to the point, but it's 3 am

 

It's very easy to be Christian and gay, Cheese. I know countless numbers of gay Christians. Like the average person today though, none of them are really all that religious. Sure, they believe in God but they never go to church or read the Bible.

I do, however, know one girl who is very religious and comes from a very religious family and she is pansexual. Although she suspects she might be gay seeing as she's only ever really been interested in women. Either way, she also finds it extremely difficult to talk to her family about her sexuality and one of he main reasons is because of her background. It makes me very sad to see her so unhappy and torn up by this because she's my best friend and is one of the sweetest and open-minded people you'll ever meet and even though she's only sixteen, she's pretty active in fighting for gay rights. If it wasn't for her, her school wouldn't have a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) club. Her dad hates the fact that she's in charge of a group that "supports the fags". I think her parents actually suspect she's gay but are just in denial.

You know, I was thinking of talking her into joining this site and if she does then maybe you two could chat more about it? Because I'm not really sure how supportive I could be seeing as I was raised Atheist and come from a pretty open household.

 

NoPlanB,

I'm in the same boat as you. Person of Faith, homosexual woman. I am Catholic, and I am a lesbian. I don't know how long this will last, but...

Maybe when you are older you'll be able to move away to a bigger city? And attend a large metropolitan Church that openly supports LGBTQ community members? I think that may be a way to find a partner who supports Christian values, because other LGBTQ Christians would likely be going there.

I've got to be honest, if I wasn't so attached to my parish and various people within my parish, I would already be church-shopping again, looking for somewhere more accepting of me but that still preaches the gospel. and I'm not too worried about if my partner in life ends up being Christian or not - so long as they'll accompany me to the occasional familial church event, like the luncheons my choir director has for my choir, and as long as they'll accept that I am a regular Church goer who becomes busiest around Christmas and Easter... I don't need them to always be there with me or to think it's the greatest thing in the world, so long as they understand that it's something important to me I hope they would be supportive enough. Just like I would support them in their main interests, right?

it might take some more flexibility, but it is very possible to be a good Christian and still be gay. it's more difficult to manage in the smaller communities, but the good thing is, we aren't trapped in these smaller communities forever.

 

Well what do those gay people do with all these?

I mean it's not logical to be christian and gay unless you accept what you are doing is a big sin...and that would make you a hypocrite and a waste of time...why go every sunday to church If you know you'll end up in a "warm" place sooner or later anyway :lol:

 

Don't be so closed in thinking that most gay people out there persecute the ones who remain faithful, I think you're just hanging with the wrong crowd to be honest.

There is value in dedication. If your faith means something to you, then it is an inseparable part of you and you should embrace and cherish it, not treat it as a baggage.

Faith, like other intangible things, once being treated or thought of as "baggage" will only give you more feelings of regret, and the more you attempt to logically guide yourself in averting the temptations to abandon it.

---------- Post added 6th Apr 2012 at 07:41 AM ----------

HE already stated that he has reconciled his faith with homosexuality, which means he has explanations for these already that does not condemn himself. Let's stay to the point and discuss the family and friends aspect, rather than making yourself one of those gay people that attack him from the other side.

 

Some believe that the whole 'homosexuality is a sin' was misinterpreted, and Leviticus also says a lot of other things, such as anything a woman on her period touches is ritually unclean, that masturbating makes you ritually unclean, and all these other weird things.

Not all Christians believe homosexuality is a sin. The reason many gay people end up as atheists is because the church spends so much time disowning them and making their lives absolute hell that many have absolutely no interest in faith. Or in my case, lose their faith because they no longer believe in God.

I was watching something somewhere, where in many senses, gay Christians have a stronger connection with their faith as they've actually sat down and questioned it.

 

I definitely relate to you here, in a very similar position. If I tell the parents, they're going to have a a hard time accepting it, they wont disown me or throw me out, but they wont like that I love girls. Its tough, and I agree, you cant find a middle ground, unless you work out a way of practising what you feel and not telling them, suppose like a double life.. but that would suck so bad knowing you could never discuss your relationship with anyone. So damnnn tough.

I have a suggestion Maybe discuss your sexuality with a relative(s), that might help quite a bit because at least then, you'll have the support from them and can then try approaching your parents like that. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, you're not aloe though, hopefully we'll work it out someday

 

As I'm not religious, I don't know what you believe as a Christian. But surely God put you on this earth, in your family, as a gay man, for a reason. I'm sorry things aren't working out for you.
As far as finding a partner who would celebrate your religion and sexuality, there's people out there, believe me! I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend was religious
Things will get better. I'm sorry you have to hide now, but some day everything will work out. I promise

 

Currently reading this article and I thought it would be appropriate to the discussion.
For me, it's never been about reconciling my faith with being gay. It's been entirely about reconciling my orientation with society.

Gay.net - God, Gays, and the Need to Love Thy Neighbor

 

All I can say is that I can relate, and many of the replies on here demonstrate how many to most LGBT people won't respect your beliefs. My best advice would be to wait until you move out and then join an accepting church like and Episcopalian one.

 

I hear you.
There are millions of gay Christians, I can promise you that.
And if you think Christianity is contradictory to homosexuality, you know about as much about Christianity as homophobes know about homosexuality.

 

I feel this is the distinction that needs to be made... you're free to believe what you want, and associate with whatever group fits best. The thing is though, and you said it yourself, a lot of the Christian groups have a problem with homosexuality and a lot of the gay groups have a problem with Christianity. They're both rooted in really stupid, non-accepting, and quite contradictory beliefs, but they're there.

The problem is people can't move past the fact the mentality that if you're a member of said group, you're automatically like all members of that group. Stereotyping at it's finest. There's a term for it, but I can't remember and don't want to pull out my psych notes right now...

There's also too much focus on being religious = being part of an organized religion. Your religious beliefs just dictate what sacred text and belief set you follow. You can believe in God and be gay without identifying with a larger group that discriminates on others (both fall under this category). But again, that's your choice.

I suppose you can find churches that are accepting of you. They exist, for sure; there's one in my city I know of (though I'm not particularly religious). Or, go about your business like you usually do. Break the molds that people have set up, and be the gay Christian who is not only part of both groups, but has no problem with the other. As hard as it might be to see, being the part of both groups puts you in a position of power - power to change people's mindsets.

 

I don't think it was misinterpreted,I think christianism,judaims,islam or any other religion was man made and many of those men were homophobic...

---------- Post added 6th Apr 2012 at 08:35 AM ----------

I think it's ok!
I respect everyones choices,I just gave him my opinion

---------- Post added 6th Apr 2012 at 08:40 AM ----------

it's not comparable

the dislike that some gay people feel towards religions is a consecuence of christian,jewish,islamic bigotry

 

Sure it is.

Both a large amount of Christians and a large amount of LGBT are hating on one another for whatever reason. The motive doesn't matter; hate is hate, and shouldn't be tolerated.

Just because it seems justified to some doesn't make it justified under any circumstances.

EDIT: Not only that, but if both groups took this mentality, we wouldn't even have this topic here today. It'd be a complete non-issue.

 

I realize I already posted this elsewhere, but it seems relevant: To Hell with Gays: Sex and the Bible

 

I personally don't think LGB people dislike christians with the same passion many religious people do hate gay people imao

I have never heard about any LGBT group calling for the death of all christians...
but sadly I have heard the contrary

---------- Post added 6th Apr 2012 at 08:59 AM ----------

this is actually very simple...

If there weren't hateful christians there wouldn't be hateful LGB people

 

This mentality says that LGBT is the victimized group, and we're going to fight back until they stop.

Bad idea.

This isn't a case of who started what, it's a case of both sides are doing it, and it shouldn't be happening.

 

Religious people will not stop hating LGB people unless the chapters and epistoles that condemn us and list us in the same category as the wrost of humankind like rapists,murderes and vulgar thieves dissapear from the face of the earth,,, and we are the victimized group that's a fact

are not we???

 

this thread wasn't started so that we could attack the faith of the person posting, but so that we could support him and others who are struggling to keep their faith while still being honest and accepting of their sexuality.

if YOU don't want to be Christian, kudos to you, but for those of us that do... our homosexuality should not be a barrier between ourselves and our right to freedom of religion.

and it doesn't have to be. ALL parts of your person can be treasured and honored. Your sexuality and your spirituality are not contrary to one another, or at least they don't have to be.

---------- Post added 6th Apr 2012 at 09:36 AM ----------

KatKut,

there are also scriptures calling for the death of disobedient children and proclaiming it a sin to eat shellfish. we don't apply those scriptures.

but we don't have to throw the baby out with the bathwater either.

I'm sure NoPlanB was not looking for someone to attack his faith, nor was he looking for someone to condemn him. He was looking for someone to accept ALL of him. why is that so hard?