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What Else I'm in the Closet About?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Level75, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. Level75

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    So, if you were ever a person in denial of your sexuality, after you finally came out (even if only to yourself), do you ever find yourself wondering what else you've been denial about?

    It's mostly of the stereotypes that keep coming up about gay people. I only came out 2 years ago and the only ways I could describe most of my teen years was downtrodden and very low sense of self-worth that other people often used to call out, but I never really had an explanation for why I acted like that.

    Fast forward to today and I would describe myself as somebody who is much more self-confident than back then, maybe just as a result of age. But still have difficulty relating to people and keep things very low key. I know may fall into a trap of stereotyping, but I actually do remember I used to be kind of flamboyant as a much younger kid. Really artsy in school. And I hated sports.

    In a way, this is probably my second guessing nature coming up when I'm posting about this. But pretty much as a question for older people here, anybody ever find themselves wondering how things would've been different if they hadn't felt pressured to be something else when they were younger?
     
  2. solarcat

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    I actually began questioning my gender before I was sure I was gay, but I decided to put that train of thought on hold until I got my orientation straightened out. So I realized I'm gay, and later started questioning my gender. Of course, it turns out I was in the closet about my other interests, too, but I tried to ignore those impulses in order to me more masculine.

    If I never pressured myself into not liking girly stuff, I might have gotten into cross-dressing as a child (which my dad would have hated, though my mom might have supported me just to spite him). If I had a reason to be more sociable in my youth, I might have realized that I was gay at a much younger age (which might have resulted in more stress, I don't know).

    Basically, being gay is just one iece of the puzzle, and I'm still finding more pieces as I try to put it together so I can figure out just what I am.
     
  3. needshelp

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    i've been completely honest to myself about everything except my sexuality. all the pieces of the puzzle are in place now. it's that i'm still trying to take it all in. it was really difficult for me to even come around to the whole idea of being gay. it was so bad that i was willing to play straight, get some woman to be my girlfriend, get her pregnant, have children and go about my life before refusing to acknowledge my true feelings. i only got far enough to convince myself for a long time that i was straight. didn't get a chance to get a girlfriend though behind all that. it would have made things worse. i was willing to take my feelings to the grave even. however, things didn't turn out to be that way. this might be a huge punch in my chest but at the end of this, as long as i'm happy and accept who i am, that's all that truly matters.
     
    #3 needshelp, Apr 9, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2012
  4. Pretty much the same here. I guess for awhile now, I've been wondering why I haven't gotten a girlfriend. Over time, and with the help of this forum I've come to realize that I'm just not interested in any of them and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm probably the last person in my family, to carry on my last name and as a male there's always a bit of pressure there. My Dad is pretty much cool regardless of whom ever I choose to love in my life, even if it's another man.. as long as I'm happy. My Mom would come around to it eventually I'm sure, although would be in denial about it for awhile..

    ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2012 at 02:36 AM ----------

    Strangely I was also questioning my gender before consciously admitting to myself about my sexuality. It's not always easy to put a finger on what you're "feeling", but you somehow know that you don't feel the same way as all the other kids do...

    I was not sociable at all in High School, god the teenage years were some crazy and awkward times for me..