How can I be sure, after being raised straight, that I am a lesbian? I know how I can be sure I like girls, and I know I do. But how can I be sure I DON'T like guys? How do I decide if I am gay or bi?
Welcome to EC. You are the only one who can figure out your sexuality truly, we can't tell it for you. But I do have some questions to help you get started? Have you crushed on guys before? Are you crushing on one now? Do guys turn you on? Do you feel the same way about guys as you do girls? Can you imagine having a healthy, steady relationship with a guy? Yes? You're most likely bi. No? You're most likely gay. The reason I say most likely is because, as I said, we can't tell you your sexuality, that's a journey you have to lead and take alone, but of course, with us right behind your back. :3
I have crushed on guys and "been with" guys in the past but I realized really recently that I definitely like girls. So thinking back on it, it's hard to figure things out. I know I was into the guys at the time, but never to the extent of the feelings I've had for this girl. And guy parts have always grossed me out but I don't know if that's normal, and it wasn't like I wouldn't be sexual with them because of it... so I don't know if the feelings I had were because I hadn't considered my other options?? Thanks for your help and support
Perhaps, just take it slow, if you want to come out but you dont want to label yourself then do that, you can always go with 'not straight' or still working it out if that helps. If you dont like those then bi but with a preference for girls I have seen before. It is really whatever feels most comfortable to you. Just enjoy the experience and see where it takes you.
I have been with guys myself in the past. But it never felt right and i think the main reason i did that was because i couldn't accept that i was a lesbian. There was never any physical/sexual attraction with a guy it was just there personality's, but with girls it's more than that. Hope that helps
I was with a really great guy for almost a year, knew him from high school. I have OCD and he was so great about it, literally bent over backwards to accommodate me, he was sweet and thoughtful, everything you'd want a guy to be. But whenver we had sex I couldn't stop thinking about women. After he left to start a career back east (I live in California) I decided not to go with him. I just kind of put it together after that. I'm a woman's girl.
You're looking at this totally backwards. You can't ever prove a negative, and that's what you're trying to do. There is no way to prove that you are not attracted to any guys whatsoever, there's literally billions of them. Who is to say that one day you won't meet the right guy, or you won't stumble upon a "type" you never knew you had? Instead, you need to turn it around. You like girls. We can definitively say that you aren't straight. Just go wherever your passions take you, it'll work itself out over time. There isn't anything wrong with keeping your sexuality open-ended either. Don't worry about it.
