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Reasons/Excuses why NOT to come out of that closet!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Deaf Not Blind, Apr 20, 2012.

  1. Deaf Not Blind

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    i was just thinking of all the reasons i have for not wanting to ever come out.:eek:
    i bet everyone has some that are very similar:eusa_naug, and some thought that held you back maybe even sound silly now:roflmao:, but seriously were a roadblock back then:bang:
    want to share some?
     
  2. LailaForbidden

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    the raw fear and vunerbility i'd have to face... still haven't gotten past that one. although, i'm not completely sure of my orientation at the moment.
     
  3. DJNay

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    Afraid of being judged by other ppl and then relationships (with family or friends) changing because of it.
     
  4. mike6557

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    because it was warm :lol:
    seriously though: because I didn't want people to change how they thought about me.
     
  5. Deaf Not Blind

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    i keep thinking i figured it out, then i backslide and think i am straight.

    one of my many mind teasing excuses is that all the people who have asked me if i am gay will be like SEE! and I am NOT gay, i maybe bigender, transgender, and straight or bisexual, but not my birth gender gay!

    ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2012 at 06:34 PM ----------

    hey! i am likely transgender person too! :slight_smile: wish i knew some in my town to ask questions. mtf or ftm, we got to hang together.

    one of my reasons for sitting in my closet with a nightlight on is fear of my conservative religious friends family trying to help me, being disappointed in me, not understanding me, leaving me forever. i would hurt so bad if i lose them all.:icon_sad:

    ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2012 at 06:39 PM ----------

    Mike! you stole my have joke! hahaha!

    another my reasons is i have a gay male buddy, like a brother, and a gal friend dating a bisexual man who does not like me because i am "straight, conservative, christian." :confused: how would their reactions be if i come out to them? they may say it is proof there is no god, and they are right on all things? idk, but i got a warm closet to hide in!:sleep:
     
  6. needshelp

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    okay..

    i'm a 25 year old male without a real job that still lives @ home with my parents. my parents and my whole entire family for the most part except for a few members are jamaican. jamaicans are notoriously homophobic. without a doubt, my family is homophobic. i don't know how homophobic they are though. what i fear is that if they are that homophobic, i might be on the outs with them to the point where i pretty much might not have a family anymore. i might also get kicked out or who knows what else. there's one way of how it can go right and many ways of how coming out can go wrong.

    as with friends, i'll pretty much lose whatever friends are willing to stand by my weird self. they also are homophobic. some more than others.

    basically, i have a lot to lose, a little to gain and at this point, coming out really basically leaves me alone by myself. i don't have a wide circle of gay friends or etc to lean on to in real life. there's really no safe haven except for like the few gay people that i'm cool with that i'm not even close to. they either live across the river or are on another side of the state. it's messed up.
     
  7. lilyoflife

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    aaah sunshine lollipops and rainbows for all! isnt it a wonderful world we are living in.

    tell people to be kinder and more accepting and they do the exact opposite. then make up bogus excuses blah blah blah blah blah. anyone else gave up on humanity like i did?
     
  8. Mobiusponder

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    I've no idea what to come out as, or what I want.
    Though it's probably fairly obvious to those who know me as I search. Who knows.
     
  9. Just Adam

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    1) losing family
    1) being made homeless.

    Not great incentives to come out
     
  10. justinf

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    A better question would be why I should want to come out. Because the list of the reasons why not is just so big... But the top three reasons not to come out for me are:

    - My parents would kill me or at least cut all ties.
    - Everyone would look at me differently, as I am the straightest looking guy you've ever met, so no one suspects a thing.
    - I'm not planning on ending up with a guy anyway, so why bother.

    I'll just comfortably stay in the closet where I am now. :slight_smile: Forever.
     
  11. Lewis

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    It is mainly because I'll feel extremely exposed, like everyone see's me in a completely different light. I don't think that anyone I know would stop speaking to me or hate me for being gay, but it must be hard finding out that a friend isn't the person you thought they were.

    It's mainly my parents though, I feel so bad for them, I'm their only child and the only hope that my fathers surname is continued.

    ---------- Post added 21st Apr 2012 at 01:53 AM ----------

    I really hope it's not forever, everyone deserves their individual happiness. Knowing that my parents would kill me/disown me for being gay, I don't think I'd want to stay with them to be honest. So you're saying that they love the person that they see, but they wouldn't love the real you?

    You really need to think more about yourself, forever is a long long time.
     
    #11 Lewis, Apr 21, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2012
  12. Deaf Not Blind

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  13. houseofcards

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    My family is a bible loving group and primarily my grandparents think that being gay is "wrong". My parents don't have a problem with it, but the older generation of my family does.
     
  14. Lewis

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    It's kind of you, but not kind to yourself. I think deep down that your mother would want to know the real you too, see who her daughter actually is before she does sadly pass away.
     
  15. justinf

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    Oh but I do have my happiness. I have a great bf who doesn't care at all about me being closeted. And I get what your saying about the parents part, but I could never turn my back on them, no matter what they thought about me. They do love the real me, but being gay... that would just be unacceptable to them. I wouldn't blame them; it's just what they believe.
    I'm perfectly fine the way it is right now :slight_smile:
     
  16. Lewis

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    Well if you're happy, I guess that's all that matters! :slight_smile:
     
  17. malachite

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    I was in denial for a long time because there is nothing about he that says, "gay." I assumed for the longest time I couldn't be gay since I didn't act all like my gay friends.
     
  18. poppy

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    being a topic of conversation
     
  19. Pain

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    Just feeling like my friends would turn their backs on me... I can deal with being the loudest name heard through the grapevine, but just friends... It's scary, even though I know not much would change
     
  20. Wonton Burrito

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    Heh. Cos my winter coats are fluffy. ^^
    Well, I'm afraid of being judged by others. They treat it like such a big thing...