Gay relationships - can they last?

Let me reply with an example from my family. Or course no relationship is like another, but just to give you some hope One of my cousins is gay. He is about 40 and has been together with is boyfriend for as long as I can remember. I think they've been together for something like 20 years now and I don't ever see them separate. Also some other gay couples my parents know have also been together for many many years.

Something else - you mentioned straight people "have kids, and live together for the rest of their lives". Call me a pessimist, but I think there are quite some couples who stay together not because their marriage is so good but only for the sake of their children. Which, in my opinion, is a wrong thing, kids pick up on things like that. But that's an entirely different subject.

 

Well, personally, what I think is that gay couples, due to being of the same gender, will eventually discover that they have too much in common with their partner, such as interests, hobbies etc. Heterosexual partners are of course of different genders and will have different hobbies for their partner to try, get used to etc.

Although I do believe that some gay relationships will last a lot longer, especially with marriage becoming legal in more places, which will make their bond stronger and hopefully everlasting.

 

Yeah, there are definitely examples of gay couples out there that stay together.

I think gay couples are more likely to cut things off if things aren't working, compared to straight couples. We don't have any kids, we can't get married (in most places) and we just seem to be a bit more 'independent' within our relationships. Compared this to straight couples, who may persist with a relationship even if it isn't working out as well as they'd like for the sake of the kids, or because they don't want to go through a divorce, or for whatever other reason. I don't think there is something inherent about gay couples that makes our relationships less likely to work.

 

Possible, more likely to be female though, i tend to be more romantically attracted to far more women.

Yep

 

I agree with the last part (seeing as in Canada I can, and hopefully will someday, get married). I've known quite a few straight couples who don't have kids and when they divorce, it's really simple to do - you get this, I get that, we're done. A lot of the time, I believe, kids are taken into consideration before something like divorce happens. Maybe that's why.
Then again maybe it's as something simple as "you're messy and stubborn and I can't live like this." As for the "why do people break up after 10 years", well, people fall out of love. Love isn't a one-time-head-over-heels thing. You CAN love many different people.
Hope I helped somewhat

 

Straight relationships often don't last. In England, almost half of all under-18s have separated or divorced parents. I expect gay and straight relationships have about the same "chance" of lasting, though sometimes in some places by some people more emphasis can get put on gay ones that break up since it supposedly proves how homosexuality is wrong.

 

Why is it people are saying relationships can last but nobody sounds actually convinced :s

Love can work if you make it. People say if you have to fight for love then it isnt really love etc. its rubbish. You have to fight for love. A relationships is like the most complex game you can play, its about compromise moving the pieces of the puzzle until you can both see the picture.

Too many people give up so easily these days regardles of gender or sexuality because its now so easy to just walk away and move on. If you love someone i dont see how you can not try to fight for your relationship.

Which begs the question do most people even know what love really is and feels like or are they just after an easy life and sex ? After all your meant to be willing to die for the one you love.

My bf lives in another country and i would do anything for him. He is everything to me. I love him with all my heart. He accepts me for all my massive countless faults. My life and resolve to survive have always been absoloute but with him i know if could not save us both i would give my life for him.

 

I know plenty of relationships - gay and straight - that have gone far beyond the decade mark (mine has). And plenty - gay and straight - that fell apart somewhere along the line. I honestly don't see any correlation between gay and straight relationships and how long they last, at least with the people I know.

Lex

 

Possible. There was one guy who is definite rest-of-my-life material. He beat out 95% of the girls in my life and that's saying something. Might be because he was the first gay guy I fell for, but I highly doubt it. I messed it up - went after the girl due to gender alone. I've lost contact with him. I blew it. But, he still has my heart. So, life-time? Definitely.

That said I have yet to experience that with any guy past him. We were both pisces. It's said if you get two pisces that connect together it's like lightning in a bottle. And that's what happened there. That happening again? Very rare.

The heart wants what the heart wants. Yeah, girls stick out to me in every which way a lot more than do guys, I'm more heterormantic-bisexual. However, as said there are those once in a lifetime guys that are able to capture your heart as well. And in the top five people I've fallen for, he's in the top three. Just saying this for gay guys wondering where a bi guy's heart might be. If it's the right guy, even if he leans more towards girls? Yeah, you could get us for life.

 

I personally don't think marriages work in any situation yes i want to be with someone but i think marriage just messes it up in someway idk how but it does.

 

I could see myself being in a same sex relationship for the rest of my life. Hopefully, that is how things with my current gf will turn out. Gender doesn't matter to me all that much. I fall in love with the person. I identify as Pansexual/Bisexual (whichever is easier for people to remember, I don't really care). For me, I think that it would be easier to end up with someone of the opposite sex but I fall in love with who I fall in love with. I won't pick someone just because they're the opposite gender

I think long term gay relationships can last. It depends on the people and their relationship. Relationships can be hard but a long term thing is possible

 

A very good friend of mine came from a very traditional, conservative religious home. The kind of home that one would expect would foster strong feelings of the value of marriage. After 20 years of marriage. His parents called it quits. I won't delve into the details, but honestly, his dad is nothing short of a borderline sociopath. It just didn't work. Oddly enough, less than a year later, his mom was shacked up with her church pastor. Scandalous! Ha.

Another very close friend of mine (he is straight) loathes the idea of marriage. His parents have been separated for more than half of his life. While he seems to have a good relationship with both his parents, they have dealt with it quite differently. His mother re-married, and seems happy. His father works a lot and drinks too much. Honestly, I could see him settling down in a few years, he isn't 25 yet.

I on the other hand came from a fairly normal, very liberal home. I've always felt that my parents had a rather happy coupling, and can barely recall a fight between them. After 25 years of marriage, my parents separated as they were not able to come to terms with their growing differences. My mother wanted more than my father was willing to give, and it wasn't until she had been making plans to leave, that he saw his error.

My boyfriends parents have been married for 30 years, but they probably haven't had sex for 10 of those years. They have been sleeping in separate beds for several years now, and if anything, they have become room mates. His father is very boyish, funny and sociable. His mother is very quiet, withdrawn, and seems to enjoy the company of her horses more than people.

So there you go. Straight people may have marriage, but they also have divorce. Sexuality determines nothing. Gay relationships can work or fail just as any other.

 

I think any relationship can last with both people are will to put the work to keep it alive.

I grew in a home with two moms and they have been together 24 years. I saw that they had some rough spots in there relationship, but they madly in love and happy.

 

My husband and I have been together for just over 4 years and we've been married since last August. I don't think there's anything about our relationship that makes it more difficult to make work or more easy to dissolve than a heterosexual relationship.

I hold out hope that he and I will last. I was married to my wife for 9 years and him to his wife for 13 years before separating due to our orientations. Otherwise, we had both learned how to make our previous relationships work - despite being gay (as it turns out). Having already been in a long term relationship and both being parents helps - as we already know about the 'give and take' and the 'sacrifices' that are required in a relationship and as a parent. So I think we're in good shape.

A gay couple we know split up after having been together for 20 years - and you do wonder 'how does that happen'? But then again, I had a friend when I was growing up and his parents split up after 15 or 20 years of marriage - out of the blue. So it can happen to anyone really.

 

what is the rate, 2 out of every 5 marriages, or 3 out of every five marriages, i forget which, in america end in divorce.

so heteorseuxals arent doing a bang-up job as it is.

 

Many gay couples who find love go on to get married and even have/adopt children. So they can last you just have to find the right person to make it last with.

 

Errr with regard to the whole straight couples having children, marriage, and being together the rest of their lives I have only a few words for you.

"50% of marriages end in divorce" And since "divorce" isn't really part of the gay community these days in most places where I believe the survey results for this came from...well there you go...

 

well I only know 3 couple that are older and have been together for a long time, one relationship is going on 15 years.

Gay or straight relationships are something you need to be willing to work at, not something that is just going to be easy all the way through.