Online Dating

honestly, i was overanalytical about the whole process of online dating sites, but i find that just talking to people improves my confidence and my talking-to-strangers skills. you can look for people for just talking or meeting up, nothing is required. the basic idea is to find somebody who is looking for the same thing you are. there's no harm in browsing potential matches and sending messages and seeing what kinds of responses you get.

 

Hey there. I have quite a bit of experience with the online dating thing, and I have to say, it all depends on what you want to get out of it, and how much you're willing to put in. Are you willing to join a paid site, or are you looking for a free one? Personally, I've only used free ones and I don't think it's necessary to pay to join a site. Basically, you set up a profile with your info, and you'll want a pic because you drastically lower your chances of getting responses without one. But yeah, after you set up your profile, and usually you'll answer questions about what kind of person you're looking for, and based on that get matches. And yeah, if you find someone who strikes your fancy, you can try sending that person a message, and if you two start talking, it doesn't have to be for a long time before you can meet up.

Now do I recommend them? It's hard to say. The only time I ever had dates was from online dating sites, and CL. It's definitely more convenient than in person, because you can find exactly what you're looking for, and it doesn't have the awkwardness of rejection that real life has. Nonetheless, I've kind of stepped away from online dating recently because I was just getting tired of putting myself out there and getting nothing back. I'm also trying to see if I can make things happen more organically by getting out and going to events and club meetings and stuff.

 

I met everyone I have ever dated online. I've had the same success I suppose anyone has-- I've met some decent friends, some really huge jerks and one person who really holds my heart. It takes time to find the right people, and even then it might not always work out, but that's because that is how life works. The internet is simply one medium among many, and isn't any better or worse than any other.

 

Well we've seen my ideas about dating sites (see anonymous thread where I was actually I think kicked out of the discussion but that's another story). But to be honest, I would and wouldn't join. On one hand, I've met a boyfriend through a dating site. On the other hand, there are a lot out there who just ignore you even when a msg is sent and if you don't have a tough skin and don't take rejection well (which often comes in the form of no return msg whatsoever) then you may not really like being on the site.

As for the actual etiquette, often yes you may start talking, then eventually maybe move to Facebook or MSN or something like that to continue chatting (benefit of doing the Facebook/Skype is that you actually will see the actual person or see their profile whereas msn they could just say "oh my camera's broken") and eventually you may meet up. Though as with any situation you may have heard of, ALWAYS meet in a public place so that should it go badly or just don't want to meet, you can more or less run the other way.

I wish you luck whatever decision you make.

 

i didn't need to. I have a friend at college. Her friend saw my pix, in my actual gender. Friended me. Asked me if I was gay, as they are. I said no, but came out for first time and try my best to explain how I am transgender.

This is less than a week. Today, we were more calm. Deciding to just be fun online fb, not too close as we live miles apart. But something changed it. They beg me to see this clip on youtube thought it help me, as it was about a transgender man in the scene. They didn't see the end. I did. It was awful. The transman looked like a really nice guy, the straight girl was holding his hand, he came out to her what he was and how he had been on T for 8 weeks, and she pulled away, and said he was a freak. I was here alone, I started to CRY! Freak? I am a freak? OMG! Any person I want to love is going to treat me like that?? I can't ever be me? I can't ever come out? Well, I told them about the ending. They were upset as they were trying to help me see another transgender person, not knowing the traumatic thing it would do to me.

Suddenly, they tell me they saw me once as a possible gay, now they see I am a straight person of the opposite sex. And they said they were scared.

I will just jump ahead now. It is personal. But they changed a couple status on fb just now. They are no longer as gay, they are bi, and they are in a relationship. My very first.

We had online chatted face to face last night until early morning. They saw my face. They still see me as opposite sex! Even though my voice is not. They said they only see me as I see me, and they are falling for me.

I have not come out to anyone but yu and them, but it looks like it will be out eventually. now what? Oh, yeah. I can walk in a mall and think to myself, I am loved.