I kinda like this guy and I'm not sure if he's gay or what not So i was wondering how do you go about asking someone about their sexuality Is there a way of doing it indirectly ??
Oh hell. If only I knew the answer to this. Um, maybe you could try becoming closer and it could just come out of him. I really don't know how to go about this. That's really the only thing I can offer.
Of asking indirectly? I'd say no. You can bring up gay topics (politics, movies, etc.) and see if you get any response, but it's not a sure thing. You can also just tell them you're gay (or whatever) and let them decide to tell you if they are too. If you want to be sure, or you've done some of this and gotten ambiguous responses, the only way to really find out is generally to ask I'm afraid. If you bring up the politics part, and find that they have a positive stance towards gay rights at least you know you can feel pretty safe asking. Maybe I'd suggest trying to bring that up in conversation first, and then as long as they're ok with people being gay, ask them a little later. If you do, just be casual about it. Just give the impression that you might have been interested if he was gay, or that you were just curious (though you have to be sure he knows you're pro-gay first; people don't always like to be "outed"). Maybe easier to do in college or after versus in high school, but that'd be my approach. Hope that helps some
Short answer: you don't. Or rather: it's generally considered impolite to ask people you don't know well. Sure, there's people who will take it at face value, but not all are so easy-going about it. And unless they know your motives, most are going to be very cautious about opening up about such a topic. Generally speaking: if the person is completely out of the closet, you can find out through other channels. If they're in the closet, they will say no and you'll never know whether they lied or spoke the truth. And if they're straight, you'll get the same no you'd get if they were closeted, only with added risk of creeping them out a bit. Personally, I'm more a fan of coming out to the person first. That alone proves you're OK with gay people, and possibly open for dating. Also, it belies that you're not afraid to show some vulnerability, which might get returned by some vulnerability from the other side. Of course, they might not end up being gay or immediately coming out even if they are, but it's the best, and least intrusive possibility.
