So I guess this question goes out to the people that are dating people the same gender as they are that are still under wraps when it comes to "coming out". How do you guys find people? Honestly, I wanted to give dating a try, but it finally hit me. I act like the "straightest" guy out there... Is there some secret way of meeting people? I mean, I've tried going to parties hosted by gay people and most of the people that approach me are girls. Yeah a lot of them are pretty and all, but I've been there and done that. So yeah..
Perhaps try approaching someone you think is cute and ask them when you are in that type of environment. The worst that can happen is they turn you down. (I actually have much better luck approaching guys at a gay bar than I have with girls ANYWHERE)
If you are looking to date it, then is going to be super difficult without taking a chance and telling someone what you are interested in. I would suggest looking around online various places. But most likely you will get people who are just looking for sex. Not always though. The way I found my current boyfriend was through an online service. We were both just looking to experiment, and when we met in person we got along so well that it just turned into something more. This whole process took a while, and may I just say that neither of us was looking for a relationship going into it. I am not out to anyone and I would never have risked the chance of telling someone in person about me to see if they were interested. I am extremely straight acting as well by the way.
I agree with the first post. Try some online services they can help out a lot. As well as don't wait for someone to come to you try to go to others and express your interest. I know it can seem frustrating and nerve racking but life comes with taking chances and risks. Like confuzzled85 said, the worst thing that could happen is that you get turned down.
Hmm, online dating services.. I honestly never wanted to give those a try cause I'm more of the meeting people and getting to know them type. I've tried a site once.. and all I ever got was 50+ year old Caucasian men and it was a bit disturbing about how they talked to me.. I've gone to a gay club before.. but that was with my straight friends that are just very open to that sorta thing. Honestly, those types of crowds don't have what I like.. I've been approached but since I'm with my friends I have to pull out the "Oh no I'm straight but thanks anyway". Also, I don't want to be "found out".. I guess what I'm asking is how the heck do you know when someone else swings your way?
Try people watching. Look at who people look at. This really is about the only way to learn subtle things to look for. You may start to notice some ways to tell after observing someone for a little while.
I've tried that.. Whenever I scan the room I often come across a different array of people making eye contact with me. If it's a girl, I just look and smile. If it's a guy I kinda just look away quickly cause I can't tell if a guy is just sizing you down how most guys do or if they swing that way.. I don't think this is ever gonna work out for me lol
Oh dear... you got it the wrong way round :eek: You are supposed to look and smile at the guy rather than girl :lol: looking away quickly when you see a guy looking at you means you are not interested.
I agree with just about every other post on this thread. Also, I wanted to add that I've noticed by personal experience, that whenever you come out you find out a lot of more people are LGBT too. You just have to be the one who's brave and do it!
If you find away around this complication please share it with me! My situation is the other way around. I don't know which girls swing which way. I find it hard to tell with most girls. My friend recommended trying online as well but I don't trust it that much. I can't use any social profiles since my friends friends either don't put their orientation or have private pages. To top it off I'm not a social butterfly so just going on and meeting people isn't easy. I guess the only choice we have is to take a risk. With me, I wouldn't mind someone finding out I'm bi and them happening to be straight, since a good amount already know. You, being curious I imagine might be hesitant on that? Good luck!
I agree with Crystal, there are more of us out there than you know. I personally have never dated a girl as a girl myself, but there are ways.
So for me, most of the advice on here would not work. This is because I would not willing to put myself out there and risk being outed to find someone. This is why I stuck to the internet. While I agree that it is 99% full of creeps, not everyone is absolutely a no-go. I just kept my expectations on actually finding someone that would be compatible with what I was looking for. This way I did not get mind it too much when a prospect I was talking to turned out to be not what I was looking for at all. You do have to make sure to play it super safe if you use the internet though. Another thing for me is that even if I was out at all, which I am most definitely not, I feel I would still have a hard time finding someone I would be interested in. Most people that I know who are gay and out are not my type at all. I am more into guys who act very masculine, and like doing dude things. Like drinking beers and playing sports. I found that there are some other guys looking for the same kind of thing online, but I have never seen that from any openly gay guys that I have been around in real life. Maybe I am biased though, because online is where I found a great guy who loves the same dude things that I do and who is very masculine and very awesome at the same time. We both agree that it was a very rare and unexpected thing that happened to us. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen to others as well.
When you say smile.. Do you mean like.. A full blown smile..? I often smirk when I see girls that I want to talk to.. So do I do the same? It's really scary cause.. I don't want to be found out.. but if I want to find someone I gotta let someone find out.. This is all so complicated. I'm a very social person. From what I've been told, I'm a really easy guy to talk to. It's just.. The fear of being found out and being put on blast that terrifies me.. Oh interesting! I live in Houston, we have a part of it devoted to the Gay and Lesbian crowd. This is the exact situation that I'm stuck in.. Care to tell me which dating site you used? lol
I guess it can be any type of smile, just as long as you smile :icon_bigg or if you see a guy look at you, look away for a second and then look back, if he is still looking then he might be gay/bi.
