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trying to be a better person vs being yourself

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by LivingLife, May 16, 2012.

  1. LivingLife

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    I think the title is self explanatory, post your comments about this :slight_smile:
     
  2. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

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    I've heard it said (and I think there's a lot of truth to it) that trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth, so it's hard to figure out just what "being yourself" really means. Sure, there are certain personality traits that come more easily to us than others, but we also change a lot over the course of our lives. How do you even answer the question of who you really are? The way I see it, the only passable way to define oneself is by the trends in one's past actions, but self-improvement is focused on the future, so identity and self-improvement aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. I mean, if you improve yourself and become a better you, than those improvements become part of your identity, and you're being yourself by being that better you. Besides, what if you're kind of a jerk? Is it really a lofty goal to "be yourself" and let that side of yourself shine out more?

    And there's my aimless rambling for the day. :slight_smile:
     
  3. ArcaneVerse

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    You don't have to sacrifice being yourself to be a nice person though do you? I mean really we all have our moments but their are nice ways to go about things and still stay true to yourself.

    I think sometimes people just like to use the excuse of "this is who I am, so deal with it" to get away with being a complete ass to those around them and to avoid the work of improving themselves.

    But in saying that I do think some people are more inclined to certain behaviors and traits which can make it harder, like me I'm have anger issues and I'm usually pretty blunt and honest in expressing how I feel and think and that IS who I am but I can work around it and tone it down and think before I speak, doesn't always work and sometimes it gets the better of me but that's life.
     
  4. Gekko

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    You must be yourself without hurting other people, and be a good person without hurting yourself. I have met people whose idea of being themselves is helping other people, and I feel comfortable around them beacuse they are great people.
     
  5. Fiddledeedee

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    I think of it as the better person is who we "are", and the worse person we act as isn't a good thing and it's stopping us from being who we "are". I know that since I started making a conscious, long-term effort to be a better person towards my mother, I've become a lot more like... me.

    I have no idea if that makes sense.
     
  6. adam88

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    There's only a difference between the two if you don't love yourself.
     
  7. Hmmmmm

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    Maybe I don't understand the question, but I don't see why a person would have to give up being themselves in order to become a better person.
     
  8. Pret Allez

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    I really don't see where it is written that being oneself and being a better person are mutually exclusive goals. At one point I told a friend of mine that one of my goals is to be a better version of myself. A more fit, thoughtful, reflective, kinder, and warriorlike version...

    I mean, the only way there can really be the dichotomy is if "you" are a jerk. Then being true to oneself is simply being a very flawed person, and what fun is there in that?
     
  9. Rinto

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    If being someone you aren't is hard, being who you really are is twice as hard. Defining yourself exactly has never been easy like opening a book. Some people think that it's better to be "who you are", but when things get complicated and at times where you can't really do the definition, I don't think there's anything wrong with being someone else. Anyways, how could one be really himself? It's something that is just so complicated to understand.

    I do prefer living a life of both realms. Sometimes, faking the smiles I give off at others is better than being my pitiful, wallying self. At these times, I don't see the point of not restraining myself from doing so. Trust is just about anything nowadays. None knows of it but it's where life goes around.
     
  10. Z3ni

    Z3ni Guest

    I think the sacrifice is the You, that you can't be because of circumstance, or so you won't be judged, therefore you change yourself to suit society?? or something.

    And being yourself, when your calm, stress free, self aware??? i don't know!! :tears:
     
  11. ameliawesome

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    I think some people focus too much on what a "good person" is and strive for that image rather than focus on knowing & being oneself.
     
  12. super confused

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    I feel like once you become a better person, then it becomes a part of you. You are still yourself.
     
  13. I think we all have room for improvement. Nobody's perfect or totally equipped for every situation in life. Thus, change is an important part of life. Changing in a positive way that doesn't feel wrong to who you are deep inside is not only acceptable, it's expected.
    Yeah, definitely. You have to stay true to yourself and that's really important. Sure. I think that's perfectly fine.

    But personal integrity aside, most of the time when I hear people say that they refuse to change their behavior because they're 'just being themselves', it's an excuse to treat people in a way that they know is unacceptable.
     
  14. castle walls

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    I agree with everything you said.

    Personally, I think that when I act true to myself I am a good person. I don't see being yourself and becoming a better person to be mutually exclusive