1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Paying on Dates

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SkyTears, Jan 9, 2008.

  1. SkyTears

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    193
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Renton, WA
    So I just got thinking today. With dates what is your rule for payment? Like do you have the guy/girl who asked pay or do you split the cost? I'm just wondering what people would think/do for dates.
     
  2. I have a weird mentality when it comes to this. If I take someone out then I would cover for both of us because I like taking care of people. But if someone takes me out I insist on paying for my share because it's weird for me to be taken care of in that respect.
     
  3. mcrteenagers

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2007
    Messages:
    188
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    Same as above almost. I will always pay if I ask someone out. I'll pay for mine at the very least. I'm stubborn as hell though (comes from my mom), and if I want to pay, I will be paying :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  4. ebra

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2007
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Edmonton (In Alberta, In Canada!)
    derek always nails me...wow. nvm...lol i like to pay, because i like people to know that i actually want them there and that i will look after it, but at the same time, sometimes its nice to be wined and dinned and shown a good time, its like i take care of them all the time, but once in awhile its nice to be shown they appreciate it. splitting the cost makes it seem less date like.
     
  5. Hydrogen

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Messages:
    331
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Florida
    Well, not sure my response will help...

    Since Tyler and I now have a joint bank account, when we go out it really doesn't matter who pays, we both feel the burn. :slight_smile:

    however, if I go out with friends, I pay for my own, and everyone else does the same.
     
  6. CrimsonThunder

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2007
    Messages:
    2,467
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Australian!
    I'll pay for my own and anyone else I'm with all the time.

    If I hang out with my friends and we go to KFC or HJ's I'll pay.

    It's just how I am.
     
  7. joeyconnick

    joeyconnick Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2005
    Messages:
    3,069
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, ON
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I pay for myself, usually. If the other person is less well-off than me, I'll pay for them too (not always but occasionally because it's nice to share something with someone where it's no skin off your nose but a big deal to them).

    If the other person says they'll pay for me, I'll ask them if they're sure. If they say yes, then I don't argue and I let them pay because to do otherwise is rude and obnoxious, unless you know it's going to beggar them. In fact, I learned to accept graciously someone's offer to pay because I grew up watching my mother and her mum fight over who would pay the cheque at the end of the night. My grandmother had next to no money so it was stupid for her to always insist on paying but then my mother could probably have let her do it a few times and just been gracious about it. Anyway, it was this big unpleasant production all the time so I just said, "Fuck it... you wanna pay for me, I'll offer to split with you but if you insist, then great, you pay. I'll get the bill next time."

    If I asked someone on a date, I would expect them to at least offer to split the bill. Hello, it's the 21st century and we're both guys--there's no stupid sexist "women have to be dependent" vibe going on. If someone EXPECTED me to pay for them, I would totally be offended unless I'd made it clear from the start that I was taking them out, as opposed to going out with them.

    With my last boyfriend, I paid for a lot of the stuff we did together just because he was a student with next to no money and I was working full-time and had been for quite a while. If I was in the reverse situation, I would expect the same thing. To me it should be about ability to pay/relative income, except in special circumstances like birthdays and special occasions for the person who's being paid for.

    But as for me, I just expect that I'll be paying my share. It's much nicer to start with that expectation and be treated occasionally than to make the other person feel like they should be paying for you. I mean yes, people could do a lot worse than go out with me but hey, I don't think I'm ALL that. :lol:
     
  8. Jim1454

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,284
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Toronto
    If you're very clearly inviting someone out, then it's understood that you'll treat. If you're just out together, then I'd expect to split the bill.

    As said above, it's nice to treat someone to dinner once in a while and likewise, it's nice to be treated too!
     
  9. step49x

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2006
    Messages:
    1,010
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    I'd prefer to pay my half, but if they insisted to pay for me, I'd probably let them. Yeah, I'm not the type of guy that would do the asking. For better or for worse, I'd wait for someone to ask me. I would want to know ahead of time who was paying, so there isn't any awkwardness when the bill comes.
     
  10. ccdd

    ccdd Guest

    I've never been on a date with a woman, but if they offered, I'd at least protest, but would eventually give in - unless they're obviously poorer than me or something. And I would like to pay sometimes - especially at the beginning of a relationship, to clarify that it's a date. Yeah, and also, like, I suppose if you're going somewhere with a friend who you know is bi/gay, and you want to show you're interested, I'd offer to pay, because it has date connotations. But unless there was a big difference in income, for dates I'd do a mixture of all three - me paying, them paying, and both paying. I think it can be romantic to pay/be paid for. But it must never be expected , and you should always offer to go halves (and not let all dates get paid for by the same person - it is the 21st century - unless one of you is very poor).
     
  11. Jerr

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Hot Springs, Arkansas
    Go Dutch, Duh!


    Always have at least enough to pay for you and if you want to you can offer to pay for the other. Even if they refuse to let you it is a kind gesture.
     
  12. xxAngelOnFirexx

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    468
    Likes Received:
    1
    i've only gone on a date like this like twice and it was with a guy when i was testing to see if i was bi. but of course he paid and i expected him too. but thinking if i asked a girl i might pay i'd want to pay half if it was a more casual thing but if it was kinda dressy or an anniversery i'd pay. of course it all depends on whose more butch. if i'm 'the guy' i'd pay but i if she is 'the guy' i'd expect her too. i dunno i just have this thing that the more dominant person pays. and out of my 3 girlfriends only one was dominant. i personally prefer to be dominant, since i am. with the dominany girlfriend i had i still acted dominant because i didn't like acting like the girl so it was weird, lol! but yeah just who ever i guess.
     
  13. IHeartDisney

    IHeartDisney Guest

    I think whoever invites the other on the date should pay. Paying half would be fine if you were friends, but for me if you were dating it would be stupid.
     
  14. Gustav

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Clarks summit, PA
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I love to pay, especially at restaurants. I am a waiter, and i know how i love to be well tipped, so i do the same for my waiter. it makes me feel happy.
     
  15. Jerr

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Hot Springs, Arkansas
    All you waiters do the same. lol
     
  16. justjoshoh

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2005
    Messages:
    363
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, OH
    I concur with above. I believe that the person who initiated the date should at least offer to pay for the date. The person that did not initiate, should offer to pay at least their half.
     
  17. Wired106

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    434
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Norcal-San Francisco!
    Ya, I always pay because I don't want them to think I'm using them after the 10th time we go on a date and have them pay lol. I always pay even with being with regular friends because idk I like taking care of my friends, but in some cases me and my friends don't let each other pay for each other lol.
     
  18. Grof142007

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Messages:
    1,051
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    High Point,North Carolina
    Well I was taking someone out i would pay but i have this problem where if someone taking me out i expect to the pay and not even think about using my money my self. im really really really really cheap when it comes to money like i dont even buy my self food when im hungry or drinks when im thirsty ( but i didn get a drink today because i was going the verge of collapsing)
     
  19. Jerr

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2007
    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Hot Springs, Arkansas
    Be my friend!

    lol


    Now when I hang out with a boy I'll offer to buy his Starbucks if I have the money. When it comes to friends... psh lol

    The Twins have a loaded gramma and they aren't exactly "hurting" for money so I usually count their change for them and get my starbucks that way. lol I can usually con the into it.




    When it comes to dating... NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT GOING DUTCH if you have someone pay all the time they might take you out less because they don't have the money to pay for you.
     
  20. Jamie

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2006
    Messages:
    680
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Drammen, Norway (from England originally).
    To be honest it all depends on the person, how well you know them and the situation.

    I for example am overly generous (probably too much so) and will insist on paying pretty much all the of the time. The only time I have to give in is when my friend who is the same way insists on paying. In which case we agreed to take it in turns, so she pays on time and I pay the next.