Lavender Marriage?

[castle walls]

I don't mean to be the one always starting controversial topics but a friend and I were talking about Rock Hudson and the topic came up. What does everyone think of lavender marriages/relationships? Would you ever enter one? If so, what would be the rules?

Here's a definition

A lavender marriage is a type of male-female marriage of convenience in which the couple are not both heterosexual and conceal the homosexual or bisexual orientation of one or both spouses

For the purposes of this thread lets say that there are no heterosexuals involved. So you aren't marrying a heterosexual and convincing them that you're in love. You would be with another non heterosexual person and hiding both of your sexualities from the world

[Zontar]

Why bother going through that when you can just have a regular marriage in this day and age?

Even if you agree to go about your own lives, you still have to worry about hiding what you're doing and all this other stupid bullshit that marrying a straight wouldn't solve.

[RomanIrish]

I think they are a necessary evil, some people need to hide, especially in other countries. If there is no point to it, I don't see why there should be one, but in the end it's a personal decision.

[Hmmmmm]

I would never do it.

[TheGreyMan]

At least in the US, the UK and many other advanced countries, this isn't a necessity anymore. Maybe back when being gay could ruin your career yeah, but not now.

Honestly, love who you love. Marry/Civil-Union/Date them. Hopefully it'll be legal and accepted worldwide eventually, whether it be in a hundred years or a thousand.

In my opinion, I find it dumb that even though love and companionship has existed in all forms since the dawn of time, some members of a new race that have been around for a measly 2.5 million years have declared one type wrong and another right.

Not trying to dismiss human achievement. I'm just saying from the point of the grand scheme of things.

Only if we loved each other...
Otherwise, no, since gay marriage is legal in Canada and I have every intention of getting married.

[brocub]

I only know one couple in a lavender marriage. They're both bisexual and it's an open relationship. They truly love each other and are sexually attracted to one another, but they both recognize each other's need to be with the same sex from time to time.

However, I wouldn't do it. I can't even get it up for a girl, let alone be in a heteronormative relationship

[Zontar]

Originally Posted by brocub

I only know one couple in a lavender marriage. They're both bisexual and it's an open relationship. They truly love each other and are sexually attracted to one another, but they both recognize each other's need to be with the same sex from time to time.

My dream spouse!

[Pret Allez]

I don't think it's an "evil," and people who think it is need to remember that we don't have a moral obligation to be out. We have a moral obligation to be out if we feel safe.

I have no desire to hear about how it's "hiding" or people trying to avail themselves of heterosexual privilege.

All I think is that it underscore the need either for marriage equality or for the state to end all privileges that attach to marriage.

Originally Posted by brocub

I only know one couple in a lavender marriage. They're both bisexual and it's an open relationship. They truly love each other and are sexually attracted to one another, but they both recognize each other's need to be with the same sex from time to time.

However, I wouldn't do it. I can't even get it up for a girl, let alone be in a heteronormative relationship

I want a relationship like that so bad.

[Calico]

I would do it only if I were in an openly anti gay country. As is, no way

[Zontar]

Originally Posted by Pret Allez

I don't think it's an "evil," and people who think it is need to remember that we don't have a moral obligation to be out. We have a moral obligation to be out if we feel safe.

Not even. Coming out is a personal benefit exclusively.

I personally stand to lose a lot of money coming out to certain people, but I wouldn't say my safety would be in jeopardy.