So I recently came out to one of my friends that I play video games with often. He has quite a temper and is really profane with him play video games. Although he almost exclusively uses homosexual epithets when expressing his anger. I was wondering what are your thoughts on this? Should I be bother or does it really not matter?
Unfortunately, homosexual slurs have been used so much to the point where people have forgotten what they actually mean and how offensive they really are. Don't take it personally that he's saying that to you unless he's really calling you it and you know he means it. You could tell him that it's wrong but if not, he doesn't mean it in that way.
I don't think you should bothered, that's unless it offends you. Most of the time I don't think people necessarily mean to, even I call things gay at times. If it really bothers you though, ask him to tone it down a little. The word 'fag' offends me more than the word 'gay', because I am gay. 'Fag' is associated with the bible and hatred towards gay people, so it's hard for me not to find that one offensive.
Actually all of the slurs bother me, they are all based on hatred, and rotten ideas. I almost get nervous when people use it towards each other even if I don't know non of them. But I think in this situation he is not using them really toward you, it's just a bad habit that he has.
My friends and I call each other faggots all the time, and say things like "That's the gayest outfit ever." We all find it hilarious. That sort of speech only offends if you allow it to. If someone hatefully calls me a faggot, my response is usually something like "Really? Is that the best you can come up with?" Clearly your friend doesn't mean to offend you. I'd say let it go and maybe over time, when the right moment comes up, gently tell him that some of the stuff he says when he's excited can be a little thoughtless. My guess is he'll work to rein it in.
A lot of the times my friend will say "I don't know any guys who have as many scarves as you. Or at least any straigt guys." or something of the sort. And I think it's actually really offensive, even though I'm not a guy but it's like she is generalizing hardcore. I don't know, it just makes me feel bad when she says stuff like that.
i m not yet out . one of the greatest fears of me is dat. even my friends use a lot of slurs wich kind of show me what they actually of gay ppl. they jus cant understand that all dat matters is how wndrful is a human being . sombdys sexual preferances are nobdys buisness . but still this world has a long way to go bfore ppl like us can cm out easily without fear of being targetted and made fun of .
For me it's all about context. Generally speaking, I take the South Park approach to the issue when it comes to "faggot." There was an entire episode explaining how the word has been used for centuries to degrade the most hated members of society. Now that gay people aren't the most hated members of society, it's used to insult people who are just plain @$$holes. But just last night, my friend told me I needed to get a fag hag. I wasn't too thrilled about it because it stereotyped me in a way I wasn't comfortable with. I simply said "Please don't use that term," to which he replied "hag?" He got the point, and we all got a good laugh out of it. As far as just using "gay" besides describing an orientation, I really don't care. I even find myself having the urge to call something gay, and in an effort go try and subtly encourage people to move away from using it that way, it usually ends up being replaced by "girly" or something else less poignant.
Personally, I confront most of my friends who say things like "that's so gay." not rude, but I'll talk to them and ask them to not use gay as a synonym for stupid. They usually understand. I wish the best for you and your friend.
I take a pretty negative view of stuff like that. I get confrontational when people use that kind of language.
i'm personally bothered by it, but i also am able to let it go when i know it's said simply because it is so ingrained sometimes that it's difficult for a person to eliminate words and expressions from their vocabulary. two of my best friends say stuff like, "that's gay," all the time, and when one catches herself she apologizes but most of the time she doesn't even notice; the other really just doesn't notice, lol. and one of my gay friends recently told us he wants a tattoo of the word "faggot," but we may have talked him out of it because what if he meets somebody who doesn't like that word, you know? so yeah, i don't like it either, but sometimes you have to be flexible. personally, i've eliminated a lot of words and phrases from my own vocabulary so i don't understand why more people won't just do that, but ultimately whatever.
With any type of slur, I really think it has to do with intent. If somebody is using it jokingly or even lovingly, then I really have no problem with it. If they are obviously using it as a weapon, then it's not ok in my book. I don't think you're being oversensitive at all, you're absolutely justified to react negatively when somebody uses a word you find offensive. Do you know what his views on homosexuality are in general? If he is accepting overall, try explaining that it's just not cool to use words like that. If he values your feelings and friendship, he will make the effort. If he's not accepting...then it may be time to rethink your relationship with him.
I use to be that way, but now I see no point...Now I only say something if it really offends me, or if it pisses me off so bad I end up snapping on them...
Yeah, same here. For me, I have heard people use gay slurs so much that I am used to it. So, it doesn't really bother me at all. Sometimes, I catch myself using them as well.
Honestly, it doesn't really bother me in any case. I've never put much stock by curse words (my parents have always cursed like sailors around me, even when I was a toddler) so if one calls me a harsh name or something, it doesn't bother me, especially if they're my friend and they just mean it in a joking manner. If someone were to use these words in an actually hateful way, I'd obviously be upset, but not because of the words, just because of the hatred and disrespect.
