Where you born with your sexuality or is it 'Fluid'?

I never remember choosing to like men I just do but I believe you're born that way.

 

I'm pretty sure that I wasn't born completely straight, but I think maybe through puberty it develops more. Like, as I was growing up, I knew I like guys, but there were some exceptions and cases in which I genuinely liked some girls. Now, I have no attraction towards girls are all, so I think that my sexuality veered towards guys more.

 

I've never been attracted to women in any way. Even though I was a little late to realizing I was gay, I never thought I was straight before I realized because it just wasn't something I ever thought about until I was like 'Oh, I'm gay... that makes sense'

 

I'm gonna go with it's something that you're born with.

But honestly, I think this is one of the few things the world doesn't need to know about. Science doesn't need to figure out how it works. It's easier in nearly every regard if this topic is just left to develop however it does, IMO.

 

I don't know, I just feel like it's an issue better left alone. I mean, what happens if we do determine what the "cause" of homosexuality is? Do we start modifying people (like the supposed "designer babies" we hear about in the future) so they are/aren't gay?

I mean, homosexuality is not the easiest path, that's a given. Do I wish that everyone should not be gay if given the opportunity? No, because it makes those without the chance to "change" even more "oppressed", not to mention it just propagates the stigma already around LGBT life. Do I wish that people should choose to become gay? No, because right now, why would I let someone choose to be the "oppressed" group? Even in the theoretical future when we're treated equally like heterosexuals, why should it matter then who you "choose" to love? Can't it just be a case of "whatever it is, it is"?

The only thing I might possibly buy into is that if we made everyone bisexual (or pansexual, whatever). But even then... modifying people for something as complex as love just seems... wrong to me.

 

I've always preferred men since I was like 5 or something. There was nothing sexual but I always just imagined being with a guy I guess.

So pretty sure I was at least born with it. I wanted to be with a guy and I didn't even understand what 'gay' was until I was 10.

 

I doubt one's innate sexuality can switch once it's set, but hey, stranger things have happened, so I wouldn't discount it as a possibility the way I discount turning wood into gold.

What can change is what you think your sexuality is. The funny thing about sexuality as a part of our identity is that it's not something we can just look at and say, "Oh, I'm gay," or "Oh, I'm straight," the way we can look in a mirror and say, "Oh, I have brown hair." We can only understand our sexuality by looking at how it manifests, at what attractions we have. And how we observe our sexuality and how it manifests can be very dependent on other aspects of our psychology: denial, ignorance about what sexuality is, internalize homophobia, etc. So it's possible for someone to be born gay but go through much of their life convinced they're straight (which was the case for a lot of gay people before the past few decades), or be born bi but go through life convinced they're gay because they don't know that bisexuality exists and because people make a bigger deal out of their same-sex attraction. And when they realize what their true sexuality is, it doesn't mean their sexuality has changed; it just means that their understanding of it has changed.

 

You are definitely born with your orientation.

I mean, I didn't wake up one morning and say to myself, ''You know, today feels like a good day to start liking guys!''

 

I think its a combination of environment and genetics. So.. you are born with it to a certain extent. Honestly, no one knows for sure why people are gay or not... they just are. and thats all that matters right?

 

I believe that sexuality is developed at an early age (like at age 5 or something...)
and is unwillingly chosen by personal experience and not figuring it out until later, but again it's only a theory.

 

I always explain my progression of feelings thus:

My orientation went through a transition from "I'm straight" to "I like kissing girls, but I'd never want to sleep with one" to "I want to have sex with a girl, but I wouldn't want a girlfriend" to "I want a girlfriend, but I still like guys too" to "I'm gay". The process lasted from ages 14-19. While my sexuality did evolve over time, I never felt I had any choice in the matter. It just happened. I did genuinely enjoy sleeping with men (when I did), and did feel that I loved them at the time. It is just something I'm no longer capable of, as my attraction is solely towards women now. Regardless, I would not say if was anything of which I had any control.

 

I 100% believe we're born with it. I was, at least.

 

I think that I was born with my sexuality. I've always remembered liking girls growing up. All of the crushes that I've had on men were emotional and not sexual.

 

(This is all from memory of something I read a while back, so it may not be perfectly accurate, but: )

Most of the talk about "sexual fluidity" comes from a study done by Lisa Diamond. She took college-age women who didn't identify as straight, and she followed them for ten years. It was intended to be a study about bisexuality.

At the beginning of the study, women identified as "lesbian," "bisexual," or "unlabeled." She found that more women moved into the bisexual category by the end of the study, and that many women in her study changed how they identified at some point over the course of the study.

I don't personally find it very surprising that if one follows non-straight identified college girls for 10 years, one finds that their identity is often not static. And I think that a lot of the "fluidity" she observed was because most of her subjects were bisexual. Sexual fluidity is very much the same as bisexual women describe their sexuality to me all the time.

If they show sexual fluidity in large samples of clearly identified lesbians and straight women, or in gay or straight men, I might think that was more interesting. Showing sexual fluidity in bisexuals is just showing that bisexuals are bisexual.

Basically, this study showed that bisexual women exist. But I knew that, even if some people didn't. I think there is value in a study showing the existence of bisexual women, but I don't think it means that everyone has the same kind of fluid sexuality that bisexuals have.

 

You may not discover your sexuality until later in life, but I think you have as much control over it as you do your height. In other words, you are born hard wired gay or straight.

 

Personally, I think everyone is born with their sexuality but we just don't discover it until later on in life.

 

I wanted the feelings to go away, but they didn't and won't. I was choosing not to be gay, but I isn't get my choice. My personal conclusion is that being gay isnt a choice, it is what and who you are regardless of what you choose. How you live with it is a choice.