when did you decide to come out to the family?

I was tired of hiding it. I told a couple of my friends first then I told my parents. So far it's pretty good but I think my mom is still trying to accept it but my dad seems fine with it though. :icon_bigg I think it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

 

Like above, I just got sick of hiding it from the world and I see my family the most so I told them first. I don't there's such a thing as the 'right time' so I just told them when it got too hard to be totally in the closet. And honestly telling my friends absolutely terrifies me more than coming out to my parents and sister.

 

These. There may never be a "right time," really- I came out really just to relieve some of the stress I was feeling.

 

When my boyfriend (ex now) more or less threatened to break up with me if I didn't tell my parents (for the second time...long story). You know, totally my choice

 

I pretty much kept my friends updated as I was going through the process of figuring out myself (which took several years), and my parents when I got my first girlfriend. They are both incredibly liberal, and have got more gay friends than straight, although even though I knew it wasn't going to be a big deal, I was still incredibly nervous.

 

I know my parents will be 100% cool with it but it is so scary to me to tell them something so personal about myself. We just don't talk like that. How did you do it??

 

Once I accepted myself, it was constantly in my head that I needed to tell people because I wanted to share in that acceptance. About April or May last year, I finally became comfortable with the idea that I was only into guys.

I wanted to wait to tell my family because I still had some self-confidence issues coming out of high school, and I didn't want my orientation connected with that at all. I wanted to have a fully successful semester or two of college so that they would actually see how it's helped me grow and be happier. I sort of accidentally let it slip to my brother at the end of June. I didn't have quite the first semester of school that I was hoping for, but I still felt the need to tell them because I was tired of holding it in. Also, my parents tried to talk to me about dating girls for the first time ever since I was in college and never expressed any interest before. I needed to let them know that that wasn't ever going to happen.

There's never going to be a "perfect" time to tell your family. Granted, certain times are better than others, but if you're always waiting for perfection, it's never going to happen. Like one poster said on here before, it's like pulling a band-aid.

 

When I realized that coming out was pretty much a prerequisite for finding a boyfriend... it just needed to happen. And I have to agree with what has been said already--there's never a very good time. It's way too easy to procrastinate the conversation. But it needed to happen, so it did. Apparently they had been wondering since before I was 2. Not fair. It should be impossible to out yourself before you can think.

 

well really my cousin figured it out for himself. I didn't care, but at the same time he was a bit insensitive about it because he still uses the word "gay" to mean "stupid" (a habit I stopped after seventh grade) and at one point he asked me if I was the "girl" in a relationship. As for my parents....I just don't trust them enough to tell them.

 

I actually came out to my parents first. I came out to them because i was about to go to college and I felt that they should know in case anything was posted on FB. (My mom is my fb friend.)

 

I chose to tell my family first, mostly because I didn't have any friends to tell. I still have very few friends, and I'm out to all but one (I've hinted at it, but she has stated that she is oblivious to social cues in the past so... Plus she used to be my stalker, but that's a long story.)

Retrospectively, I wasn't exactly ready to come out when I did, but I was sort of backed into a corner with a few other issues at the time. It's good that I did come out though, since I probably never would have done so were the circumstances not there to force me into it.

Since coming out, I've realized that I thought that I had totally accepted myself and was completely cool with being gay, especially considering I had never struggled with my identity or sexuality in my head like some of my fellow EC'ers have, but boy was I wrong! Had I been okay with it like I had thought, I probably would have come out sooner.

Getting back to the original question though, I chose to come out to my family when I had to. It wasn't ideal for me, so it wasn't exactly as I had pictured my coming out to be, but it was good enough to get the job done.

 

Only two of my family members, my brother and my mom, know about it, and I didn't particularly "choose" to tell them. My brother found my Empty Closets, :eusa_doh:and my mom decided to randomly ask if I'm gay . But my brother found out (two months ago) after a few of my friends, and I told my mom (yesterday) after a few more people had found out. So my family wasn't the first ones I told, or wanted to tell.

 

I've not come out to family or face to face yet.
on fb I've come out to 3 people.
one a lesbian who hit on me...we are not friends anymore.
one a gay friend, he goes to my school.
and a straight deaf guy who wanted to show me his dick...i asked if he wants to see mine its bigger. bahahaha!

sadly, the lesbian was least kind and not want to undy transgender, why I'm not a lesbian.
he deafie like her kept calling me she, girl, babe, and begging me to do sexy things..both very much alike...i finally stop him with me posting my fb wall i may delete peeps and him asking to stay i publicly said he may not if he not show respect. so far he gets to stay.

 

I told my friends first and when I went away to college, with the help of two friends, I was able to be completely out. I came out to one of my sisters' around Christmas. I was tired of always being asked about boyfriends and such. I came out to my mom around March. I was out at school and coming home on breaks sucked because it was like going back in to the closet. I knew she'd be cool with it, but it was still hard. I'm not sure if my dad or other two siblings know, but I certainly don't try and hide it.

 

I decided a few months after I fully realized that I was gay. i had already told my friends, and it was tearing me apart to be keeping a secret like that from my family. It took a few more months to get up the courage, but eventually I just sat down with them after dinner and told them everything.

 

i haven't formally told any of my family members, i just kind of feel like it's obvious (haha). maybe it isn't. sometimes i wish it were more obvious. i want them to know, but i don't want it to be a topic of gossip or have my gayness be something that is brought up in every conversation (my close family does that kind of stuff). most if not all of my family isn't homophobic, we have homosexual family members and family friends, so it's not like i'm afraid of being ostracized. i just don't want to hear about it lol. bbbuuuuttttt i also don't want to hear stuff like, "do you have a boyfriend?" anymore. i get that question from the younger girls in my family. and in two weeks we are housing 10+ cousins from colorado, most of them i've never met in person, and i'm sure there will be sooo many questions that it's likely somebody will ask me if i have a boyfriend. it'd be super easy to say, "nah, i'm gay." so maybe i will do that if it comes up in conversation.

 

I have not told anyone, and have no plans to do so...but they (family) know that I've never had a girlfriend, or even been on a date, plus that "I'll never get married" and "I'll never have kids" LOL

My sister is the only one who's truly accepting of gay people & I know she has a couple close friends who are gay. (I also think she might have some idea that I'm not straight)

 

I knew it be easiest to tell my friend Cass, but I decided to tell my parents first because I felt like I owed it to them- especially my Mom who resents that I don't talk to her more. I ended up telling my sister before I told Cass though, because she had been talking a few wks ago about how she thought bisexuality didn't exist, and we'd had many arguments since that day- so finaly I told her how I knew it existed, and she said she'd figured it out. I think you decide to come out more than once and in mutliple ways. When I finally came out to my oth. 2 friends, it was because I learned that they were ok with it, and I came out to my last friend in the group because I felt guilty that she was the only one in the group that didn't know- she was surprisingly accepting. I regret coming out to my Gram, but the reason I did it was because I thought she'd be fine with it- apparently she is accepting of homosexuality, but has biphobia- go figure! I recently came out to my ex, because he told me he was "extremely bicurious-" it was an easy, quick decision, and it brought us closer as friends. I would not have come out to my pal Hope had it not been for my knowlegde that she is questioning herself and might be bisexual as well.