For all the teenagers out there...

I don't come out to my parents because I don't trust them. Simple as that. I know they'd use the information to somehow hurt me or use it against me, so i don't give them information.

 

We all want to be accepted for who we are. And I personally think acceptance from parents is equivalent to having freedom, freedom in your own place, in your own family. What's more rewarding than that?

 

Not necessarily. And not in my case, or many of my friends' cases.
I told my parents I was gay when I was 17 and it got too hard to hide it any more. I was starting to go to queer events and the like, and it was getting too complicated to come up with cover stories. They've never been any less nice to female friends than male, and haven't had any issues with female friends sleeping over/me sleeping over with female friends.

 

I've only come out to my cousin, and don't ever plan on telling my parents unless I'm in a relationship someday.

 

I would like to come out because I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not. It' really annoying in my opinion. If I were out to my family, I would immediately come out at school and simply everywhere. I could have a girlfriend (which I obviously can't now). Besides, I don't invite my friends for a sleepover. That's really rare in my case, my best friend stays over night like once a year (sleepovers are not that popular in our small region). + my mum knows she's straight so it wouldn't be a problem

I'd say it really depends on your parents (if your relationship is good, if they are okay with gay people etc., etc...

 

Not really, it depends on the parents. In fact, being gay makes a better case for allowing a child to spend the night with pretty much anybody (given that most males are straight).

I am not out to my parents, and don't intend to out myself any time soon, for other reasons. They work on a 'Need to Know' basis, and given I'm not in a relationship, they don't need to know. It's a can of worms which doesn't need to be opened and its a discussion which does not need to be entered into, so I remain closeted to my family.

I hide a lot from them, so I don't really feel guilty about it.

 

look, the reason anyone comes out is to stop being fake,

i told my friends i was gay when i turned 16, and that was because i was sick and tired of them talking about girls, it was too bloody awkward pretending i was interested, that feeling sucks, especially when you are always paranoid someone will find out that you're gay.

i told my parents a year later because i was at a stage where i was happy with myself, i was confident and my ego and personality gave me a boost, i was very lucky to have a loving mum and dad even if they are/were homophobic, because atleast they have the unconditional love thing down as parents.

i dont want to live the closet life, its just not me, i grew up with two older brothers so to me its very important not to be seen as weak and vulnerable, and being in the closet makes me feel just like that

OH and i want to add that people arent really your friends if they decided to ditch you when you say you're gay (my friends didnt)

 

I personally wan't to come out to my parents because I can't hold it in anymore and it's a little different for me because I'm in a girls body so I've never had a guy sleep over anyway. Also I want my mum to let me dress more like a guy so I kind of have to tell her so yeah.

 

That's not really the issue for me, I'm sure my parents would let me have friends of the same-sex over and do what we wish, after all I am 19.

I think my main concern regarding coming out is actually that itself and the reaction I'll get, I just don't know how I'll get round to it. I know that they want the best for me and to live a fulfilled life, and being gay isn't ideal I guess. :/

 

The reason I haven't come out to my parents is because a) I don't think they'd believe me and b) if they did they wouldn't accept me. Sleepovers... I don't have sleepovers anyway.

 

I don't want a relationship of any kind for another year yet. I came out to Mom in September, as it means that there isn't immediate pressure, it gives her time to adjust, etc. before I ever date a girl. Doing it early also means that, in however many years, she won't be able to say I'm going through a phase, even though she thinks so at the moment.

I haven't told Dad yet because I don't think he needs to know and I'm more uncertain about how he'd take it. With Mom, I was expecting and got a mildly negative reaction, but I was able to predict that so I was more comfortable. I've no idea of what Dad thinks of homo/bisexuality.

And I don't do sleepovers. Don't want to, either! Partly I haven't liked the few I've been on and don't think I would now, and partly since I'm out to all my friends they might not want me to come to a sleepover. I doubt this is the case, but I'm fine with no sleepovers so I can't be bothered to ask.

What I do do is summer/Easter camps. The one I've gone to for a couple years now involves sleeping in a small yacht with three to five other girls/female leaders. If she's even thought about it, I expect Mom lets me go to those camps because A) everyone there is Christian so she doesn't need to worry about "stuff", and B) there are leaders sleeping in the yacht with us. However, because the majority of my friends on the camp don't really understand homo/bisexuality and many think it's sinful, I don't come out to them for their comfort and mine, if that makes sense.

... Sorry about the tangent!

 

Likely for the same reason that I came out at 28. To be who they really are.

 

I won't tell my parents until i'm financially independant and have a boyfriend- there's too much to be potentially at risk now, and that way i can actually make it "real" enough for them to accept it...

 

I agree. If I told them while I'm still living at home, it would have disastrous effects on me and my family. They would probably send me to counseling and make me go to church, etc. My parents are real homophobes and even though I'm their son, me being gay is too much to handle for them and they'd probably never speak to me again.

As for the having same sex friends over.. I don't have really any close guy friends and never have my girls over to spend the night because I'm a guy and it's "wrong".

 

I think it really depends on each person's case...I know my parents would probably a) not believe me, b) if they did they would not react well. Like others said, there's just too much risk right now. My relationship with them is not really great as is anyway, so I don't see the point in telling them right now.