That Awkward Question..

My parent's don't say anything because they think I'm confused. I hear the typical comments from my mom "you're too pretty to be gay" and "why would you want a women if you can have a men". The other one I hear is " you haven't found the right guy or a good c*** yet" but that's more from people at school.

 

EVERYONE thinks me and my best friend (girl) are going out. And I mean literally everyone but the two of us. If only they knew.... I'm from London which has a big gay scene and is very diverse and my mum loves Graham Norton aha. My dad however is very homophobic. But no, I never get asked by my parents if I like girls. There's nothing that would give them the hint that I might be gay. But if they did, I would follow your line of thinking, at least right now.

 

I think we all get those questions, especially in our early teens. My parents have stopped asking as often now, I think maybe they've got the clue! I just used to smile or laugh it off and not let it get to me...

 

It doesn't stop when you come out. I'm out to everyone I know, and quite a few of my friends have thought I and my best friend are dating, even though he is undoubtedly straight. We do spend a lot of time together, but... that's because we're best friends. And a couple years ago, I used to spend as much time with a different guy who I called my best friend back then (we're still friends, but he doesn't go to my university anymore). He was gay, too, and we often bickered like an old married couple ('twas all in good fun), so even though we are both unquestionably NOT each other's type, everyone who knew us was convinced we were dating and just hiding it for some reason. Which is pretty ironic, because he and I are two of the most open, unfiltered guys you'll ever meet; we would never have kept silent about something like that.

 

It's not just your parents, mine do that too. Well, not my father, but my mother sometimes asks if I like some boy, when I say no, she tells me not to be afraid, that I'll find a perfect boy for me eventually. God, I'm not completely sure about my sexuality yet, but now, boys are really the last thing I care about. I told my mother a billion times that I don't want anybody at the moment, concerning boys...actually it's harder and harder for me to pretend I'm a regular girl like e.g. my older sister who is a typical girly girl. I'm not and I hope that someday she'll understand that.

 

exactly!!!

 

My family only ask if I am lesbian, which I can deny. I am so glad they haven't asked if I am bi yet because I want to come out by myself, not by a question.
Also, I have a feeling my dads girlfriend went through my business via skype cuz i still had it logged in and it said of how I can't wait to come out to my friends. I feel this confirmed because she asked me the day after I used skype, she asked me if I was lesbian

 

The only time my parents asked if I was dating or interested in someone, was when I came out. And then it was just my mother, who probably wanted to make sure I wasn't confused.

Neither before I came out nor since that moment have either of them ever asked I was dating anyone.

 

Usually, I say that if someone is asking, they are probably ready to know. Your dad clearly suspects already. If you think there would be bad consequences, of course, you should wait to come out.

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I was 29 when I first came out to myself. I had never dated at all.

Oddly, neither of my parents ever bothered me about dating. Even though they are divorced, and agree on almost nothing, they apparently both believed that it was not their place to butt in. Although, I actually don't think they suspected at all that I was gay.

The Christmas before I came out, my mother gave me a pillow that had embroidered on it, "I think, therefore I am single." This was an effort to be supportive. Since I was not single because of any conscious choice on my part--and also because I thought the sentiment that being single was more intelligent was obnoxious--I didn't really like it.

But nobody ever really bothered me about guys, except for a couple friends once or twice in high school, asking who I liked.

 

LOL, My dad always put presure on me to date girls and all, since some months back then when I was still in denial of myself, I just did an illusional crush on a girl, and in which I made sure everyone knew about it, specially my dad, now I did stopped it, but I Still didnt come out to My Dad, my mom knows but not officially at the moment! But still my whole teenager years were full of questions like... "Do you have a girlfriend?" or "That girl is nice for you, aren't you gonna take the first step?" and all, guess it's a parent thing!

 

Trust me, you're not alone. The majority of my friends are girls, and when I hang out with one of them, my dad will always ask me if we're dating. It got even worse the other day. I spent the day with my best friend because she was moving out of state in a few days, and when I got home he asked me if I "entered into manhood." In other words, he asked me if I had sex (with somebody that I see as my sister). He has asked me before if I'm gay, and I always just deny it/blow off the question. But the most frustrating thing is that he's always saying homophobic and hateful things toward gay people, even though he suspects/has suspected that his own son is gay. As if I'm going to freaking tell you after you just got done with a rant about how horrible gays are!!!

 

Some parents unfortunately project themselves a bit too much unto their children - it's kinda sweet to recognize similar traits of character/talents/affinities/physical resemblances in one's kids, but oftentimes they assume that everything is exactly the same, right down to favorite brand of beer, car manufacturer, political views, tv shows, food - and yes even sexual orientation.

 

My entire family used to do that. Obviously now the ones I have come out to have stopped.

Now it's just my Dad's homophobic side of the family.

EVERYTIME I see them... "Do you have a girlfriend yet? Are you texting your girlfriend? Why are you waiting so long?"

It's so fricking annoying.

One of these days I really just want to say.. "No, I don't have a girlfriend. But one of these days you might see me with a boyfriend!"

Just to completely catch them off guard. :badgrin:

 

LoL yeah! I wish I could do that like in a family party lol! I just imagined their reaction!
But it wouldn't be the best thing to do! My dad's family part is also a bit homophobic, so, it's normal for my dad to put pressure on me! But still it's so annoying!

 

I've never gotten the "Do you like girls?" question. But I do get the "When you get a girlfriend..." conversations. In the recent past I've just played along. Lately, I just give no response or change the subject. My personal favorite is when I can give an answer that has a double meaning. After being told "Don't ever bring home a girl like that." I simply responded, "I won't." Or when returning from and LGBT event (which I don't say is LGBT) and being asked "Were there any girls there?" I just say yes (but if they only knew...).

 

One of these days I'll do that, especially if provoked by my father. If I'm mad, I don't care what I say.:lol:

 

I've thought about that. But the question always catches me off guard. Also, it wouldn't be confrontational, it's just not my personality.

 

That happened to me all the time as a teenager. My mom specially, everytime we were alone she'd start asking me about girls and whether I had a girlfriend. It made me feel so uncomfortable that I even avoided being alone with her. It wasn't until I came out to her that she stopped asking.