Newly Out Experience Journal: Getting Called a Faggot

My hat is off to you for working up the courage to chat up a guy in a bar. I don't think I'd be comfortable doing that to a stranger unless I was in a gay bar or unless I somehow got a very strong feeling he swung that way.

Don't let some asshole ruin your day. From what it sounded like it was a wonderful night (aside from the homophobic comment) and other people's insecurities shouldn't get you down.

Has it ever happened to me? Not quite like that. I was holding hands with a guy I was dating at a "straight" bar before. I noticed a few glances but nothing more than that. One more than one occasion I was called a faggot by a passing vehicle while I was walking down the sidewalk. (Coming form work or the grocey store or something like that). That's about it for me but I really haven't done a whole lot of dating or any success with relationships. Perhaps I need to grow a pair and start talking to guys even in non GLBT-themed places.

One last note... Call him back you lucky son of a gun... And thank your friends for sticking up for you. A true friend will always have your back.

 

I don't have a story like that, mainly because I am insanely shy and I haven't dated much, and I don't get recognized as gay.

But you should call the guy. He sounds nice, and you clearly liked him. Similar interests, and all that.

And serious kudos on flirting with guys in mainstream bars in the first place. Don't let the jerky homophobes stop you.

 

Definitely call him back. He cared enough to find you and comfort you after you left, sounds like a nice guy

 

I've flirted with a guy in a straight bar that i didn't know but never got called a fag cause we did nothing till we got back my the house.But I'd call that guy back immediately!!!Ever wanna talk about movies let me know.

 

yeah, even if you just end up friends, he liked you enough to go out and console you...luck like that may not come around twice.

 

Yay, date. Have fun! Let us know if it goes well.

 

I've never had that experience really. Its kinda funny cuz the first time I was out publicly with a guy I had been pissed the whole week. I my rationale for going out with him was that I was hoping someone would say something off to me just so I'd have an excuse to get off in someone's ***. Unfortunately or fortunately no one said anything. Even when I've been out holding hands with nelly guys one one says anything. I have never been big on pda so the most I've ever done grab his but or hug on him from behind. The closest I've had to your experience was when I was stationed in Japan. I was roomed with a friend who always wore tight pants and we always went clubbing with a guy who acted slightly feminine. Being African-american in the marines in 99 this most people didn't like this. It had snowed overnight and sometime during the night or morning someone wrote "superfag" on the hood of his car. Of course we had no idea of who it was and in that environment I was in our best interest to let it slide. I suggest you ignore the ignorant bigots and go on with your life. Live it the way you see fit cuz all that matter is that you're happy. Hope all goes well with your date.

 

tell us how it went!!!

 

Tom Waits...definately Tom Waits.

 

I seriously need to adopt your way of thinking...

 

Well, this just pretty much made my day. :icon_bigg:icon_bigg:icon_bigg
Best luck to you two!

 

(!)(!)(!)

Congrats on your first "real" gay kiss! It's good to take things slow at first. See where it goes.

 

I agree with Ianthe, you should definitely call the guy.

But I don't know about everyone else, but I thought it was kind of normal for people to point out people embracing each other, especially in a "normal" bar. I just thought that for a lot of people, even straight embraces are considered slightly inappropriate if it's not in a nightclub or something.

I mean I've constantly heard people shout "GET A ROOM" to straight people if they kiss in any public location!

But only you can understand the tone and the moment so maybe what you felt was something different altogether.

 

Perfect example of how good things come with taking risks! Ah, such a cute story! First kiss with the same-sex is beyond amazing, isn't it?! So happy for you

As for the incident, it happens is all I can say. It really does suck because sometimes it can ruin the whole mood, but, honestly, you just get used to it. I know its not the best reassurance, but after a while you just don't notice the stares, and the good starts to outweigh the bad. You will be surprise at how many random people will say nice things to you when you are out and about on a date or holding hands. At least to me, it has been more good comments than bad ones. It makes easier to ignore the bad comments

Good luck on your date!!

 

Congrats on everything going well and hope it continues to stay so.

 

That is a great story. Thanks for sharing. Good luck on your date.