Transgender: How old were you when your 1st sign of not being your birth gender?

I have always prided myself of knowing what makes me tick, but in truth my realisation of my transgenderism only came very late and it took me a long time to put the pieces together. It was really a general feeling that built within me over a number of years. I know in this sense I play against the expected somewhat.

 

I was 6 when I realized I wasnt like all the other little boys my age. Ive known that I was girl for sure ever since then. Struggled with it ever since then, but yay! I finally came out at the end of last June, so my one year anniversary of coming out is on June 29th, which is also roughly about the 4 month mark for me starting HRT as well...

 

I know how that feels since I have told my family I'm forever having my brother call me gay he's 20 you know and it bugs me he is still so immature. But I'm at a point where I'm ok telling people and not really caring about the reaction so much (with obvious assumption I am still worried about a violent reaction). But for the most part my family have handled it pretty well.

But you are definately right in saying across both the US and the UK there needs to be a more widespread understanding of transgender issues along with a greater provision of services because as much as people hate to admit it there are a lot of us.

 

I was a late bloomer for basically everything that might be discussed on EC (heck, I didn't find humans at all attractive until I was almost out of high school), but I first figured out that there was *something* that didn't quite line up about me around thirteen. Looking back, now that I know what it is that doesn't line up, I can see signs throughout my childhood, but it wasn't until I was well into university that I ever really came across the term 'transgender.' My family doesn't talk about personal things and I'm from small towns, so I had to muddle through everything alone until I moved out here >.>

 

Up until around puberty, I never really thought about my gender. I was what I was, which was a boy. And I'm boyish enough that it wasn't really a problem, except that I had to keep denying and supressing anything about me that was girly.

Around puberty I remember being really jealous of girls' bodies, but because of my own physical issues, I spent so much time hating my face, my classmates, and my life that I didn't really have a real idea of who I was. And with no friends, I guess I didn't really have any gender roles to fight against, so there was no reason for me to really consider my gender.

Around high school I think, I started really hating myself for reasons I couldn't really figure out. I hated that I had to shave my face, I hated having hairy arms and legs, I hated having a deep voice- really, I hated everything that made me male, but never thought that it meant anything, because I was used to hating my body. So I figured I'd just have to learn to live with it.

Around a year ago when I joined EC, I started seriously questioning myself, and trying to figure out how I really was. About three or four months later, I moved or said something in a really girly way, and I suddenly had this vision of myself as a girl. And the fact that it didn't seem odd, the fact that no matter how masculine I tried to make myself in the past, I never quite got "guys," and always felt more sympathy and more agreement with girls- it really made me question what I was.

It was kind of like wearing a big jacket, even though it's really hot, simply because I thought I was supposed to, but now I'm sick of that jacket, and I'm tired of wearing it, so I took it off- and now I get to feel this refreshing breeze.

But it wasn't until a little under a year ago that I started piecing together all the clues that I might be trans (for the six or so months before that I had been busy questioning my sexuality).

 

I remember being 4 and wanting to wear my brother's underwear instead of my own... since then I ve always felt in my head that im a guy and in the wrong body COMPLETELY! but seriously starting to consider transitioning now, ive had enough of living in a body I hate and i have a supportive circle of friends, so we will see what the future holds...

 

I don't remember an exact age I started to realize it however I think it came clear gradually with experiences. so I can't relate to a specific first time.

I remember an incident, that I couldn't be more than four yrs as to whom I remember around me. Still I can't explain that feeling I went through that moment.

I remember me looking into a mirror and looking away suddenly having an alien thought feeling scared. I knew it was myself ,but still I was so sure I looked at a stranger who can't be me (and didn't want any connection) . I don't even remember having a mirror in that house or any other incident with it, may be I never looked into it again, but I remember where it was and the direction it was facing and still can go through that few seconds in my memory, so I know it's real.
we left that house when I was six, even now I keep away from mirrors if I do not force myself. it used to come into memory time to time, but I never could relate it to anything until I started to analyze my gender identity very recently.

 

I remember just knowing I was a girl with my first known memory around four. I wasn't yet aware of the physical differences between boys and girls. I just knew I was a girl, though. I even remember telling my mother that I was a girl. She corrected me, of course, but I didn't understand why. Around six or eight, I realized the difference, but I didn't feel like a boy. Still, it seemed like something I should hide. At thirteen, I remember breaking down and crying because I didn't want to be a boy. After that point, I stopped trying to pretend to be something I wasn't. I was still in the closet, but I allowed myself to be feminine. It would be another thirteen years before I would come out and begin transitioning, though.

 

I first noticed that I was being treated unfairly and stared at for some reason at the age of four. I didn't realize the reason for this unfair treatment until I was about six or seven years of age. As a child, I really didn't get the whole idea about gender. I felt as though I was a boy, but people acted like I was some kind of strange acting little boy. They would say things like, "You're to timid to be a boy!" , or "Little boys don't walk like that!", or "Stop holding your hand like that!". So eventhough I thought that I was a "boy", I felt very unsuccessful at it. It was at the age of ten, when I started to actually consider that I just might really be a girl inside of my body, instead of a boy. Then it would seem, everything would fit perfectly!

PS.

It was right about the age of six, when I began trying to mimic my brothers mannerisms, so that I could escape ridicule. I was mostly unsuccessful at cloaking my true self, until about my freshmen year of high school. It took much concentration and effort NOT to walk on my tippy toes...

 

Well there are some early potential signs. For example, in elementary school I wouldn't use the urinal in the bathroom. I would only go in the stall and when I got made fun of for it I stopped going to the bathroom at school at all, I would just hold it all day.

And when I was little I plucked out all of my eyelashes until I got yelled at for it. For some reason I thought that guys weren't supposed to have eyelashes and if I didn't pluck them all out I would get made fun of. Go figure, I was beyond weird as a kid =/

The first real awareness I had was around 12 or 13 when I started pretending to be female on online chat rooms and realized that it made me feel positively euphoric.

I guess everything since then has been a gradual process of first suppressing it and now accepting it.

 

I was 6 when I first crossdressed. I don't remember the age exactly, but soon after that was when I told myself seriously I wanted to be a woman.

 

I was always a major tomboy as a kid! I hated girly clothes, much preferring playing in the mud with the boys or being outside with my animals! I always felt different and disconnected as a kid. Something didnt feel right. But it wasnt until puberty that I had any idea of my genderqueer/trans feelings! Now it all makes sense and adds up. Its funny how your past can tell you so much about your future...